Last stop in Asia

After a quick stop at the musical toilets (there was classical music playing in the room, not the actual toilet), which they all seem to be in South Korea, we braved the subway to the hostel. We followed the dodgy directions for the hostel and found it at the end of an alleyway. Our room is tiny, with a low ceiling, but does have heated floor and TV (and free internet). We went out in the rain and found the poshest Tourist Information centre ever. We enquired about getting to the airport, which left us more confused than ever, and found out that they are opening a new rail link between the airports just in time for us. We tried to book a tour to the Demilitarized Zone and were faced with numerous choices. We picked the cheapest and the touirst information lady rang for us (had great trouble with the name Sarah Foster) and handed me the phone. Needless to say we ended up having to go to their office to book it, which was in the Lotte Hotel (Lotte is a huge company here - they have a posh department store, hotels (best in Asia) and a disney-type world). This was by far the poshest hotel we have ever been in, (posher than the Queens April) it had a floor just for Weddings and had two Vera Wang wedding dresses on display. After lots of staring and winging about being single we ventured to the food court in Lotte and had a hot chocolate (very good). We headed to Itaewon - Special area for foreigners (which is next to the US army base so its kind of like a 'Little USA town'). The Indian in the book was closed for 'special holiday', so we found a really nice Thai place and ate there (curries all round). We splashed out on our first Korean beer, Cass, cringed at loud Americans in the corner and had our water glasses topped up ever 5 seconds (sadly not beer). Then it was back to hostel to bed, our 3 Thai room mates never made it back (probably cos their keys were on their bed or cos they are dirty stop outs).

01 Changing of the guard

Next day was tour day to Panmunjeom (Joint Security Area (JSA) in the Demilitrized Zone(DMZ) ). After booking in, we found our seats on the bus (naturally at the back as they are special seats for foreigners). We were joined by a few Westerners (also at the back) and met our tour guide, Austin (female). She explained that we were only allowed to go today because the Japanese tour let us join them, you have to be a party of over 20 to be let in. After, what seemed like forever, the Japanese tour guide explaining lots of nice things our tour guide got the microphone and told us about what we were going to do, where we were from (U.K. - yeay you're our allies!) and North Korea's Nuclear testing (she thought it was funny that the 'west' was shocked because South Korea was not (probably something to do with the fact they are not aimed at them!)). We went to spy on the North Koreans from an observatory, but it was too misty (we could only just see their side of the river). We looked around a museum of random articles that have been collected from 'defectors' from the North. At the map explaining about the DMZ and where we were, we were shifted out of the way because the Japanese tour wanted to look at it. So we had to go to the floor above to look at another one, which (handily) was on the 4th floor - not a problem for us but in Korean 4 means death so our guide was a bit put out. We watched a video about what we could have seen out of the window and learned about the Propaganda village (which is a fake un-finished village built in North Korea in sight of South Korea). Back to the bus to the restaurant for lunch. As we are foreigners we had to sit at the western style tables (i.e. not on the floor), to enjoy our Korean barbeque. Which involved strips of beef and onion cooking on a hot plate thing and lots of random little dishes (we know some were garlic, beansprouts, seaweed and pickled cabbage) which you could cook (we think). You have to put beef, onion, bean paste, rice and anything else you've cooked on a piece of lettuce and roll it (lettuce is not the strongest wrapping foodstuff - they need tortillas). Quick stop at the toilet (shoes off on heated floor), meant doing the flip-flop shuffle (which involves the person coming out, struggling to take off the flip flops so that they are easy for the next person to put them on - no idea why). Back on the bus we were joined by two Canadians (allies) and one Icelandic man (no ally but no problem - phew). We were given one-eared headset so we could listen to the English guide whilst the Japanese one talked for Japan. We were explained what would happen at the JSA and some of the rules about clothes (no transparent or tight clothing and no mini-skirt and high heels (because if the soldiers tell you to run (!) you need to run) - we had to quickly change our outfits :o) ). We were told that we would be joined by two soldiers (either USA or South Korean) and our passports would be checked twice (the second check was added after 9/11). The reason for the rules was due to three 'incidents' in the past - 1- Axe murder of a US soldier over chopping down a tree, 2 - A Russian who ran into South Korea (from the north) and started a firefight after the North Korean soldiers followed him and 3 - A 'European' who was drunk (and on our tour guide's tour) tried to get into the North. Luckily, the North Korean soldiers did not fire as they couldn't understand why someone wanted to go into the North! After the first passport check (english - allies no problem), we stopped at the entrance to wait for our UN bus and were shown the helipad which is famous because that is where people like George, Condoleeza and other important leaders (our tour guide informed us that the PM of UK was too busy but Prince Edward came instead (well he is expendible!)) arrive at the DMZ. GI Joe (our US soldier who was to escort us for our visit) did a second passport check and took us onto the blue (please don't shoot us) UN bus. First stop was a briefing room, where we had to sign a declaration so that if anyone shot us it was our fault and not theirs (great!) and got our blue (please do not shoot us) UN badge. We watched a video and had commentary through our dodgy headsets that kept cutting out. Outside there was flags of all the allies (no Iceland) flags and we were allowed to take photos (yipee). Back on our (please do not shoot us) UN bus, drove passed Freedom Village - this is on the South Korean side, the govt pay people to live there (beacause no one wanted to live there) and they have a big flag pole to show North Korea that everything is fine over here. We could just make out the North Korean version - 'Propaganda Village' because no one lives there and most of the buildings are not finished (because the economy is so bad they have no materials - except for digging tunnels of course) and they have a bigger, the tallest in the world, flag pole to out shine South Korea's. We drove passed the most dangerous golf course (well about 2 holes) in the world - because it used to be surrounded by land mines. Next stop, Freedom House, we were told we could only take cameras and mobile phones - no bags and had to walk in pairs at all time. From there we were escorted to the portacabin which is half in each country, the Military Demcaration Line (or border to you and me) was marked out by concrete flags at either side. In the room was a ROK (Republic of Korea) soldier over the border, stood with his hands clenched & sunglasses on (looked like a bulldog, or an idiot but we're not going to tell him that) in the 'ROK ready' position to intimidate the North Koreans - just incase (!). The boardroom table, for the continuing negotiations, was in the middle of the room and we were told it was bugged at all times so not to say anything nasty about North Korea. We were told that there used to be flags of the allies on the table, however once when the allies had left the room the North Koreans used them to shine their shoes and wipe their feet (feet being the lowest part of the body in Buddist religion). So now the flags are made of plastic and on a frame on the wall. We were allowed to take pictures and cross over into North Korea (hands on our please do not shoot us badges) - which was nice. We had our picture taken with the ROK guard and GI Joe escorted us out of the building to the relative safety of Freedom House. Back out of relative safety, we went to Freedom Tower - a little Korean style tower, where we could see the North Korean soldiers looking at us through binoculars in their watchtower. We were allowed to take pictures, but no pointing, waving or other gestures as we could have been shot ('please don't shoot us' badges or not). We swapped sides with our Japanese buddies, so we could see Freedom Village and the furthest point that the Russian had got. GI Joe escorted us out and back (in pairs) on to our please do not shoot us UN bus. We drove passed the border and the portacabins so we could take pictures from the 'relative' safety of the please do not shoot us UN bus, then off to Checkpoint 3. We were told that the soldiers would be more friendly at Checkpoint 3, becuase if we were to run we would have run into a minefield so they don't mind (!). We were allowed off the bus and we could see Propaganda Village, another North Korean watchtower and the infamous Checkpoint 4 (where the axe murder happened). We were allowed to take pictures, which we did with every guard!! The 'ROK ready' soldier even put his arm around us!! (GI Joe did not :o(  ). Back on the please do not shoot us UN bus, we drove to Checkpoint 4. This was the place of the 'infamous' axe murder and has the bridge of no return (POWs were exchanged on this bridge and allowed to choose which side they wanted to go to but they could not return to the other - hence the name). As our sexy headsets were not working, GI Joe had to pull the microphone off the Japanese tour guide (who was still speaking - surprisingly) and shout at us for not putting our cameras away when we were supposed to. As we drove back, we could see both villages from the road. Next stop, gift shop!!!! There is nothing US military will not put their name on - t-shirts, uniforms, baseball hats etc etc. Luckily for us they sold fridge magnets and badges! Back on our original bus, we headed back to Seoul - along the motorway there was massive fences and barbwire along the river (i.e. the border). Back in Seoul, we popped to take a photo of the building with the 'floating' top floor (well if you ignore the 3 posts that hold it up). At City Hall there were lots of random sculpture (of course an obligatory phallic one) and a great fountain. Next we walked passed a fake river in the middle of the road. It had a fake waterfall at one end and the water ran down the river and there were footpaths next to it (a bit like the Seine in Paris, but in Asia). They had big pots of daffodils - just to remind us what season it was - and more random sculpture with a giant shell at the end. On the way to Namdaeman (?) market, we passed one of the gates (the city walls are long gone). Had a wander looking for souviners, but most were closed. As it was getting late, had a wander for food however all we could find was KFC, so there we went. 

02 War Museum war memorial

Next day, we played proper tourist and joined the hop-on-hop-off bus. However, it only ran every 30mins so had to get the subway to the palace (the one beginning with D) for the re-enactment of the changing of the guards. There was about 30 guards and all in their best party frocks - got to take picture with head guard - yeay. Got on the bus - sexy headphones on - and went to the war memorial (which is basically a war museum with a memorial outside). It is a huge building (Lonley Planet recommends 3 hours here!), outside there was a memorial for the Korean war and lots of planes, trucks etc. At the entrance, they have a new (for the 50th Anniversary) memorial with all the names of the soldiers who died in the war including the South Korean soldiers. Inside, we just went to see the Korean War exhibit. Aimee thought her luck was in when some Korean soldiers came up to her, but they just wanted their picture taken with her - well who wouldn't!! :o) Back on the bus - headphones on - drove passed the US army base and got off at Namsangol Village. Here they had a fake Korean Village that you can look around for free (!). They have also buried a time capsule here to open on the next big anniversary of the founding of Seoul - in about 1000 years. We had a go at some of the games on offer - you had to throw an arrow into a tube - needless to say we missed. Back on the bus for the climb up the hill to Seoul Tower. At the top it was a bit misty, but still great to have a look around. In the leaflet, it said make sure you do miss out on the 'shocking edge' - so we thought oooh glass floor. After looking for a bit and on further reading of leaflet we realised it was just the mirror at the bottom of the window that just reflected the mirror at the top of the window - oooh shocking! Also, in said leaflet it mentioned the best bathrooms - so off we went. Basically, you can wash your hands and lookout over Seoul at the same time. Back on the bus, we went for a ride round to listen to the funkiest music (hmm) and commentary, got off in Itaewon. Went to Gecko's Bar for tea and a beer, gawped at all the squadies, Korean girls and general hangeroners - aka meat market.

03 Korean Folk Village

As we awoke to rain, we decided to go shopping (!) and off to Insadong - specialist tourist shopping area (we knew we'd be safe there). There was a stage in the corner of the street, which had crazy drum people (as we named them) and they had a drum conga in the street, led by a clown (why, who knows!). After we'd spent up shopping, we headed to Seouls Beverley Hills (or so the book said) to look for the Hard Rock Shop. Sadly, it was no where to be found and if that is what Beverley Hills looks like - we're not going. We could not find a global ATM anyway, so quick hop back to the special area for tourists (Itaewon) for some cash. The Korean restaurant we had planned to go for tea was a bit too expensive, so we ended up at Mr Pizza (well its a Korean chain). After ordering, we were asked to move to a table for 4 - still not sure why. Had a great pizza and made the most of our free refills. Back in the dorm, watched a bit of ESPN as it had Premiership football on. We now known the Korean for goal - 'GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' - oh and 'England's No 1 goalkeeper' - 'England's No 1 goalkeeper' as they showed Paul Robinson scoring his goal (why can't he do that in an England shirt!). We had a chat to our Swedish neighbours, who were in Seoul to film a pop video (i beleive that's what the kids call them) for a Swedish Indie band. It involved him dressed as a giant Panda walking around one of the palaces -hmm.

04 Folk Village

Last day in Seoul & Asia (not counting the day after as that was airport day), we took the long trip to the Korean Folk Village. It had lots of houses (peasant and noble), market, farming things and lots of things to watch. We manage to catch the horse riding men, which involved them jumping on and off, doing handstands, whiping a whip, the Korean crowd going 'ooh ahhh' and other shenanigans. Whilst waiting for the bus to the train station, an American girl gave us some rice water toffee - hmmm. Next, we popped by the World Cup Football stadium. Not allowed in, but had a good look round. As night drew, we headed back to our specialist area for tourists for our last meal - which we had chosen to be Thai as that was our first meal. Popped into Gecko's for one (!) more beer and got chatting to a squadie from Tennesse, US of A. Tried to put him off 'pink visor girl' who was about 15 (and wearing a pink visor). We were joined by a Kiwi teacher, who proceeded to try to chat up two Russian girls - crashed and burned! Squadie had tried to chat up some American girls who came over to introduce themselves as Joy and Brooke (oh how we laughed - but not to their face of course!) Somehow, we all ended up together sat round a table. The Russian girls told us off as no English girls wear enough make up (so all English girls you've been told). We did our best to defend our nation, not sure we convinced her though. Squadie bought all the 'ladies' a pink rose, Russian girl - Oxana, then instructed Aimee how to pose with her rose in a seductive manner whilst I took a photo (or cried laughing). Just incase the subway shut at 11, we said goodbye to our new friends and headed back to bed.

Can´t beat a good solider piccy

With checkout at 12pm, we had the morning to pack (or try and stuff all our purchases in our rucksak - keeping PeePee boy safe at all times). Laden up like donkeys we headed off for the journey to the airport. We got the new train, that had only just opened - handily - very flash. Whilst we were waiting we did a survey for Korean Air and got a free $10 voucher for Lotte! yeay! At check-in, we had a slight problem - they could not check us in for the second flight and expected us to check in at Hong Kong when we only had 50 mins at it would be the middle of the night! We told her where she could stick that (not great fans of Cathay Pacific!) and she asked us to wait whilst she called head office. She ping-ponged us over and all was well. Off to spend our voucher, we are now the proud owners of a Milka cow pencil case!!! (which also had 6 mini bars of chocolate in - bonus!) Icheon (or something like that, Korea books posted home) airport, has been voted the best airport in the world 2 years running and you could see why. After a quick try on of perfume testers, we thought we'd better go get on plane number 1. No films, boo, but could watch the boating Top Gear again, yeay! Fed and watered (no tea), but landed 10 mins late in Hong Kong. The handy little TV screens had told us which gate to go to and the nearest transfer point - of course that was not our transfer point. So i quick 5k job to our transfer point, rumage through the bags to find the liquids, quick x-ray and out the other side with a 2k run to the gate. We were one of the last on the plane to Melbourne, Australia. Got films on this one and better TV programmes. Got fed and watered again (we are never going to be able to fly Jet2 ever again!) and went to sleep - well tried. As we woke up the captain (who we just giggled everytime he spoke cos he was an Aussie) kindly put the seatbelt sign on, so had to sit for ages with crossed legs. The view of the outback was amazing, very red and big. As we reached Melbourne we finally saw civilisation and you can really notice the drought on the farmland. Screech of the tyres later, we were in Australia!! (and we didn't fall off despite being upside down - marvellous!!)

Border control

GI Joe