Observations on Portugal
Trip Start
Apr 18, 2007
1
22
54
Trip End
Ongoing
Huelva,
Spain
Friday, May 25, 2007
Observations on Portugal:
Unlike is romantic brothers, Southern Portuguese is a gutteral language that acutally sounds more like Russian than Latin.
Also, Portuguese people can understand Spanish perfectly, but most Spanish people can not understand portuguese. This is because Portuguese Evolved from Spanish, but changed many of its most common words for new totally Portuguese words. Thus Spanish is understood in Portugual it just sounds antique, (much like much of the outdated Latin-based English vocabulary) but Portuguese is not understood in Spain because Spanish did not follow the Portuguese evolution.
Average mode of pulblic communique is incessant, rapid banter one notch below shouting punctuated by agressive gestures. In males this is often performed with the corners of the mouth turned down (like and agitated Robert Deniro.)
The plumbing in most Public Southern Portuguese facilities is so bad that it can not handle ANY toilet paper in its system. I first discovered this fact on a sign in a hostel bathroom that read, and I quote "Please but your ass-wipe papers in the trash, Thank you." Unfortunately for this first Portuguese Hostel I was in denial that they were truly meant what the sign said and wrote it off as a misstranslation. However after encountering several toilet garbage cans packed full of smelly papers, I came to terms with the fact that yes, you really are supposed to throw away your toilet papers not flush them. I'm now easily disgusted, but GROSS!!! I did my best to adapt to this change in cultural paradigm, but found myself only able to follow through with the dirty deep half of the time. My apologies to the people of Portugal whose toilets I may have clogged with my "Ass-wipe papers."
Continuing on the topic of toilets, I learned several very "amusing" toilet games while in portugal one of my favorites being "Flush and Go Seek" where YOU the player after doing your business must devine the way your toilet is flushed: is it a lever, a button, a string, is it on the toilet, the pipe, the floor the cieling? And then of course there is everybody´s favoirite, Time-honored, travel tradition of "Toilet Paper Roulette" where that player, plays against wieghty odds that there will be toilet paper in the bathroom they have just used.
A little known fact about southern Portugal: all males born between 1978 and 1982 are actually clones. They are all aproximately 5´6", 125 pounds of lean muscle, with dark skin, hair and eyes and all wear the government mandated gelled up European mini-mullet and oversized Elvis sunglasses.
