Trip Start Jun 19, 2008
Trip End Oct 11, 2008

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Flag of Germany  , Bavaria,
Tuesday, September 23, 2008

We won't bore you with stories of cuckoo clocks, city squares, and sightseeing. Let's get right to the nitty gritty. Oktoberfest was a blast. We stepped off of the subway and were launched into an alternate German universe. Here's the lowdown on what we learned at Oktoberfest 2008.

1. It is perfectly OK for men to wear tiny leather shorts and suspenders as long as it is a celebration of your heritage. Similarly, women are encouraged to squeeze themselves into little Fraulein outfits for the sake of tradition.
2. Beer comes in liters at Oktoberfest. There are no exceptions. You just drink. And drink. And drink.

3. "Marmonated beef loin" is delicious. We sincerely hope that it does not include the squeezing of little rodents, but even if it does, I don't regret tipsily scarfing it down.

4. Mrs. Hayes will cave to peer pressure and drink more beer than she has since college.

5. German carnival games are really hard. Especially after those liters of beer.

6. Drunk driving is legal if you're driving a bumper car.

7. No matter how stupid those hats look on drunken tourists when you first step into the fairgrounds, you soon find yourself the proud owner of a pink pointy hat complete with pig ears, tail, and snout.

8. Mrs. Hayes is a gay man magnet. One of our drunken friends (Normy) sighted her in the next booth and demanded that she join him and his friends. Wine was drunk, faces were licked, wrists were snapped, and some dignity was lost. All in all, a lot of fun.

9. It is never a good idea to eat a meter-long hot dog covered in mustard, ketchup, and caramelized onions, no matter how much you think you need it.

10. I wouldn't want to mess with an Oktoberfest waitress. They can carry more  heavy liters of beer than I thought possible, supplying the armies of drunks packed shoulder to shoulder in beer tents.

11. Don't be surprised if a German polka band bursts out singing "Country Road" or "Sweet Home Alabama." Just sing along.

If you're interested, Mrs. Hayes also has a travel blog from her leg of this trip. The address is: http://www.travelpod.com/members/pshinehayes
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pshinehayes on

Only the BEST pictures
All I can say is payback is a ...... Thanks for posting all the CUTE pictures of Mom with beer, pickles, etc. And the other gay guys names were Stefan and Marcus. Stefan kept winking at Ryan. :)I guess we are both magnets, son.

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