Getting the Blues
Trip Start Sep 30, 2005
88Trip End Jun 04, 2006
Map your own trip!
Show trip route
I expect everyone who writes on or reads this website goes through it in their own way or shape or form. It's yin and yang, payback time, withdrawal, mental exhaustion..., call it what you will. Here's hoping that fond memories, perspective, a postive outlook and most of all time will be whisked up into a cure. The one thing I can't figure out is whether adding more holidays and travel to the mix will be good or bad. Is it pouring oil on troubled waters? Then again, bad travel, bad exploration or adventure? Oxymorons all aren't they? No such thing is there...? I don't know!
All this is just something to wrestle with. It's part of my journey and as much part of life's tapestry as anything else I've seen or done. In 20 years time it will seem like a speck, a minor blip maybe, but right now it hurts and I don't really know what it is other than disorientation or maybe alienation in my homeland which isn't really something that sits easy!
Without wishing to blame or bemoan others or to place myself on some exalted pedestal, the hardest thing to grasp and to deal with is that many of the people I'm around really don't seem to have changed, and don't seem to be able to grasp that I will have. That's not because I wanted to change per se, but because I exposed myself to a whole different set of life experiences and perspectives. It's not that I'm better, or braver, or under more pressure, but I've grown new bits and have new dimensions. It feels like I've returned to a World full of well-meaning people who expect me to fit back in the same pigeon hole I was meant to inhabit before I donned my backpack and took off. Above all, it's like I've surrenderred/given away/had freedom taken away, and I miss my friend Freedom who I was able to look in the face every morning and decide where I'd go that day.