Coming down - hard!

Trip Start Sep 30, 2005
Trip End Jun 04, 2006

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Flag of United Kingdom  ,
Tuesday, November 1, 2005

Travelling and living in another country opens your eyes to new possibilities, other realities, people and perspectives. It's a wonderful experience, often elating and always vibrant, but in some ways it's also a bit frightening because you're given to question things you took for granted or viewed as the status quo. Without necessarily consciously choosing to change, you do and you have to find a way to harness the positives, the things you've learned and to see your new view of old things as something new and exciting in itself. For me personally, I can understand that change and look forward to it, but it already feels as though some people around me can't necessarily cope with or understand that the change is inevitable. It gives a feeling of not belonging in some places where I felt I belonged before. My family and closest friends have been brilliant, but now I know the travelling really is over for a while, I have to face a new unknown reality. That's hard, because what, from a distance, I could think of as home isn't home.

I'm lucky to have been brought up the way I was and where I was, and to have been afforded a good education and to have met so many wonderful friends. These freedoms and experiences have made me fortunate enough to be able to open doors that others can't even see, let alone go through. These have brought me a lot of pleasure and allowed me to shape my own lifestyle, choose my own paths and to find my own dilemmas, such as those that face me now.

At the forefront of my mind, the defining experiences for me here and now if you will, are a fantastic 10000km train journey across 2 continents and a year adapting to life in a warm, dynamic, enthusiastic and abrasive society, different from anything I've known before. It's nice to be back, to walk in damp green surroundings which are so familiar. It's weird to have a choice of clothes after living out of a backpack for so long. It's uncomfortable to feel the cold so much that I'm wearing a fleece indoors. At the moment though, things I've considered "home" previously feel alien and my defining experiences don't fit in or belong here. It's natural and logically easy to understand, but it's emotionally very hard to get my head around.
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