hopped a bus to Blarney and walked out to Blarney Castle. beautiful scenery surrounds it, and there is a small creek that runs right next to it. as the story goes, a witch...
Sir Bedevere: There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.
Peasant 1: Are there? Oh well, tell us.
Sir Bedevere: Tell me. What do you do with witches?
Peasant 1: Burn them.
Sir Bedevere: And what do you burn, apart from witches?
Peasant 1: More witches.
Peasant 2: Wood.
Sir Bedevere: Good. Now, why do witches burn?
Peasant 3: ...because they're made of... wood?
Sir Bedevere: Good. So how do you tell whether she is made of wood?
Peasant 1: Build a bridge out of her.
Sir Bedevere: But can you not also build bridges out of stone?
Peasant 1: Oh yeah.
Sir Bedevere: Does wood sink in water?
Peasant 1: No, no, it floats!... It floats! Throw her into the pond!
Sir Bedevere: No, no. What else floats in water?
Peasant 1: Bread.
Peasant 2: Apples.
Peasant 3: Very small rocks.
Peasant 1: Cider.
Peasant 2: Gravy.
Peasant 3: Cherries.
Peasant 1: Mud.
Peasant 2: Churches.
Peasant 3: Lead! Lead!
King Arthur: A Duck.
Sir Bedevere: ...Exactly. So, logically...
Peasant 1: If she weighed the same as a duck... she's made of wood.
Sir Bedevere: And therefore...
Peasant 2: ...A witch!
sorry... with all these castles and whatnot, it´s hard not to think of Monty Python & The Holy Grail. where was i? ah yes, the witch. apparently, a witch was drowning in the creek and the King of Blarney Castle did what any good king would do and he jumped in and saved her. so the witch then gave the King an enchanted stone which he built into his castle atop one of the parapets, and it is said that anyone who kisses it while bent over backwards will be given the gift of eloquence and good luck. so we hiked up this TINY staircase to the top of the Castle and laid down backwards and gave the Blarney Stone a kiss (despite the widespread rumors that locals get a laugh out of pissing on the Stone at night) while an old Irish guy makes sure you don´t fall over the side. so, allegedly i now have the gift of eloquence... maybe it will help me communicate a little better in the upcoming non-English speaking countries.
finished up at the castle and had some time to kill before the bus came, so we sat down at the pub and had a Guinness, for Strength. delicious, even at 1130AM. i think i saw a priest there having one too. caught the bus back to Cork, then picked up another bus to Galway.
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Blarney Hotels
