The Party Begins

Because my friend's Brian, Antonia, Steve and Colleen were coming into town for the holidays over the next 3 days, I decided to fly back to Bangkok to avoid that 14 hour train ride back home after a 3+ hour minivan ride from Pai to CM.  All in all the journey home still took me about 13 hours, but instead of sitting on a train, I stopped off and got a 2 hour massage for 300B during my layover.  The cheap massages are about the only good thing I found in CM.  I finished my 5 day course of antibiotics on the way home got a good night's rest and called Brian the next morning to meet up for lunch.  Here's where I began Ray's Whirlwind Tour of Thailand for the next couple weeks.  I took him to my favorite food court at Siam Paragon Mall where they have hundreds of things to choose from all for a few bucks.  We got 200B cards each and didn't even use em all.  Unlike the horrific mall food courts back home where "restaurants" like Taco Bell, Wok n Roll and Sabarros are on offer, Siam Paragon has lots of fresh made noodle soups, chicken, duck, roasted pork, fried rice.... for your dining pleasure. YUM!  Of course for dessert, I had to show him my favorite Gelato shop in the gOUr mEt supermarket.  After coming in from Islamabad, Brian was happier than a pig in Pakistan to be back in the civilized world.  We did a few minutes of prerequisite Bangkok shopping before asking what he really wanted to do... something touristy?  We figured that the others may want to do the touristy things also so we might as well wait for them to get into town.  Brian had gone out on his own the night before and made the mistake of asking a taxi guy waiting outside of the Grand Hyatt where to go for some fun.  (hands on head,  Oh NO) I can only imagine the likes of the places he took him.  Soi Cowboy comes to mind as I shudder.  Well... there was only 1 way to right that wrong at 3pm.  What else was there to do?  We went to Center Khao San Road where we wouldn't look like total alcoholics drinking in the middle of the day (amongst all the other alcoholics drinking in the middle of the day).  After a few Chang Yai Beers and an introduction to 10B pre-cut pineapple, I thought I'd get off the main backpacker drag and wander down to Soi Rambutri for a quieter restaurant/bar for some food and some Leo Yai Beers for a slightly different flavor.  Fuelled up again, I figured restaurants and bars exist all over the world, but only in Thailand do they take combie vans to a whole new level and take a Volkswagen Bus and convert it into a bar.  Here we met a few ladies in Bangkok for the weekend from BFE on a Peace Corp mission that wanted to go to Patpong (the second worse place in Bangkok behind Soi Cowboy)  Do the words ping pong show mean anything to you?  After about 5 hours of drinking including the obligatory Sang Som bucket, of course we say, "Sure, OK" and proceed to pile the 5 of us into a taxi.  I haven't been to Patpong in 15 years, but this is one place that looks exactly the same as it did on my first visit to Thailand, SEEEDY!  All manner of cheap knock offs were for sale and more bar girls than you could shake your stick at.  We managed to find the only bar in Patpong that didn't have some kind of sex show going on stage.  3 full sheets to the wind, I somehow must have managed to convey to Antonia who just arrived at the hotel how to find us even though I didn't have a clue the name of the bar we were in.  Luckily, Gulliver was pretty easy to spot in the 3 foot and under section of the bar. 

Group Shot in front of Central World

Now here's where the evening started to get a little fuzzy and my recollection or lack thereof may significantly differ from your own.  I managed to realize that we now had a lady in our presence and it would not be fitting to subject her to the sights and smells of Patpong.  I'm not quite sure what happened to the girls that came with us.  Somehow in my infinite wisdom, I figured taking everyone to the gayest street in Bangkok, Silom Soi 4, was somehow much better.  My only saving grace is that  I did manage to take them to the only straight bar on the block.  Here's where the grey fuzziness started to turn into blackness.  There are distinct sections of this night that have clearly been removed from my memory.  I think it's sort of like during reported alien abductions where people claim that whole chunks of time seem to mystically be unaccountable.  The blackness started to refocus when we arrived back at the Grand Hyatt lounge bar and there was a bounc... um... host that wouldn't let me into the bar because I had open toed flip flops.  Policy states that no open toed shoes are allowed in this "classy joynt" full of working girls.  So after much todo we went back up to the room and discovered that the hotel slippers were indeed closed toed house slippers.  Back we go waltzing past the snooty bitch with my brand new closed toed slippers.  Apparently, I defiantly kicked them off and danced around the dance floor barefoot.  As darkness set back in, I woke up on the floor of the room the next morning. (To be continued...)

Motley Crew

Victory Monument