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Our search for the rich and famous...
Entry 33 of 36 | show all | print this entry |
Hi there from Los Angeles!
Sadly, the final leg of our journey is upon us. A two week tour around the west of America taking in L.A., Las Vegas, the Grand Canyon and San Francisco. So after a long overnight flight which I particularly enjoyed, being struck down as I was by agonizing conjunctivitis in both eyes, we began our journey in Los Angeles.
L.A.- city of the angels and home of Hollywood, muscle beach and gang related violence. Prior to arriving here you could be forgiven for thinking you'd see a shoot out on each street corner, such is the way it's portrayed in virtually every film and t.v. show. The reality is somewhat different; in our time there we never saw anything remotely threatening and even the tramps were friendly when asking for change. We stayed in a hotel right on Venice beach and explored the gym where Arnie Schwarzengger got massive and the beach where David Hasselhoff ran in slow montion in 'Baywatch'. This got us in the mood to rub shoulders with greatness so we did what countless others have done before us; we bought a map of the star's homes and headed off for Hollywood!
Hollywood is a strange place. It's actually just a small part of a huge city, and not what you'd expect; it's a bit tatty and seedy. The films aren't made there any more (that goes on in Burbank, 20 miles north) so what you go there to see is the walk of fame (hundreds of stars set into the pavement, most of them celebrating minor stars you've never heard of, probably from silent movies), the Kodak theatre (where they hold the oscars), the Chinese theatre (where they hold most of the film premieres) and... well, that's about it. That said, we did enjoy a comedy moment there. Let me set the scene..
To cash in on the star-seeking tourists a number of out of work actors wander around outside the theatres. They get dressed up as characters from famous films and for a few dollars you can get your picture taken with them. As we checked out the imprints in the cement outside the Chinese theatre (Tom Cruise's hands were the size of a doll's but his shoes were as big as mine, a UK 11. Tom, if you're reading this, we all know you're a midget and you're fooling no-one, give Coco the clown his shoes back) I was approached by an Imperial stormtrooper from 'Star Wars'. Darth Vader's pay obviously isn't enough these days as he offered to let me capture him for a photo. We duly posed, with me pointing a blaster at him as he surrendered, then he turned to two bemused Japanese tourists who were nearby. He pointed to them and said 'I'm looking for these two droids...', giving me my cue to re-enact a scene from the film. I waved my finger across his face and, in my best Alec Guinness impression, replied 'These aren't the droids you're looking for'. We then acted out the rest of the scene. I don't expect they'll be asking me back for next year's oscars on the strength of our impromptu nonsense, but it made us chuckle.
So what else do you do in the movie capital of the world? Well, first you go and take a picture of the Hollywood sign. this is harder than it looks as it's actually quite difficult to find and you need directions. We did that and then paid our celluloid heroes the ultimate accolade; we toured Beverley Hills to find the star's mansions and maybe, just maybe, get to meet one in the flesh.
So did we get Arnie's autograph? Did Jennifer Aniston invite us in for tea? Did Justin Timberlake offer us parts in his new video and did we get to ask Nicole Kidman 'What ever did you see in that couch jumping munchkin with his oversize footwear?' Sadly no, of course not. We did drive past TomKat's gaff to find that the diminutive scientologist has surrounded the whole place with huge fences to keep out prying eyes (and stop anyone sighting his collection of massive comedy shoes, no doubt). But we were treated to the next best thing to seeing someone famous; Sharon Osbourne's dogs barked at Elaine! Yes, as we stood outside Ozzy's house for a photo Sharon's slavering hounds tried to rip her to pieces; only the fact that they were tiny harmless dogs locked behind an enormous gate stopped her being torn limb from limb.
So, armed with a celeb related story that the Sunday tabloids would pay handsomely for and bored of trying to glimpse huge mansions hidden behind enormous gates, we've headed east. We're off to Arizona where the mysteries of the grand Canyon await us. It's meant to be beautiful; we'll let you know if it's as good as they say.
Hope you're all well and don't worry; after our brush with greatness we'll still talk to you on our return.
See you soon (and have a nice day!)
Rich and Elaine
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