'Allo, where you from? You buy something?'

Hello from Hoi An

Smile!

We've reached Hoi An, a very pleasant little town on the coast about half way down Vietnam. They still have scooters and sound their horn for no reason but compared to Hanoi it's tranquil bliss.

Hoi An is famous for a couple of things. It's very picturesque, and probably looks much as it did 200 years ago with little lanes and tiny shops everywhere. It's also full of tailor's shops and the place to come if you want some made to measure clothes. Even if you don't want or need anything those persuasive ladies are hard to resist. Tiny women call to you from their shop fronts or accost you in the street to come and just 'have a look'. Ten minutes later you're sat in a shop somewhere being thrust the Next catalogue and told that they can make you anything inside it you like. We wandered round a bit, checked out a few shops and eventually gave in and chose one. The experience was great fun.

Getting clothes made for you in Hoi An is a must do experience. Even if you don't need anything you have to get some; you can throw them away afterwards if you like, they're very cheap. But you have to do it beacuse it's as close as you're ever going to get to being treated like a celebrity. We now know what it feels like to be David Beckham or JLO.

As soon as you enter a shop and show some interest they're all over you like flies. You're told you're so handsome/beautiful (obviously true) and you get the catalogues. They have loads but the Next catalogue is the book of choice. You're encouraged to select and the ladies give you their 'honest' appraisal of what would suit you. Business suits are where the big money is at so they give you the hard sell to get you to buy a three piece. Man or woman they tell you that you'll always need one and don't give up. We know of weak willed fools who went in for a look and came out three suits later. Whatever else we ended up with we'd decided that wasn't going to happen to us.

We didn't need anything so we played hard to get, dismissing the catalogues and turning our noses up at what they chose for us. This is where you not only feel, but start to act, like JLO. As we got up to walk around and check the fabrics out the ladies followed, recommending some and telling us how much they'd suit us. The more picky and dismissive we became the harder they worked, finding new materials and brochures to tempt us with. When we did finally select a material for a shirt they didn't give up, each time giving it the 'You buy two? Two shirts very cheap!' and, after about two hours of being waited on, we chose some things. We too got persuaded to buy more than we intended but, at 15 pound for a hand made pair of jeans in the denim of your choice, we didn't feel too hard done by. And we escaped without buying a suit between us! The clothes were ready a day later and they're great.

We then got really crazy and splurged on some hand made shoes. After selecting some styles from torn out pages of the Littlewoods catalogue we were measured and they too have been fantastic; cheap as chips and they fit like a glove. We're going to send some stuff home by sea mail to lighten our load (we can't carry everything we've now got, hope the post office is open).

We love Hoi An, we've spent nearly a week here. We've done a Vietnamese cookery course and can make killer fish soup and spring rolls. It was a cultural exchange; we're going to get a recipe for Yorkshire pud from t'internet so the chef can offer roast dinners to the travellers. We also spent a day at the beach and visited a nearby village where we had a go at pottery (it wasn't good) and fishing (one tiddler later we gave up). Our guide, Mr Trung, then took us to his house and his wife cooked us the best meal we've had here. That's saying something because the food has been excellent but Mrs T's scoff was outstanding.

We'll be sorry to leave Hoi An but it's time to move on, we've decide to make seeing Orangutans in Borneo one of our top priorities. To acheieve this we're saving time by flying to Ho Chi Minh city (missing out the 25 hour train ride) and then flying to Angkor Wat in Cambodia (missing out the 2 days on the bus). This should give us enough time to see those gorillas in the mist. Tell Andy Dennis to call his relatives and have them ready to meet us.

Hope you're all ok, next stop Ho Ho Ho Chi Minh city.

See you soon