Cooking on Gas

• Queenietord's Profile
• About this blog
• Entry from Ashgabat

Trip Start May 15, 2008 Previous
Entry Trip End Aug 24, 2008 Next
Entry

  Ashgabat, Turkmenistan
Saturday, July 19, 2008

Hello guys,
It's me again. Is there any one out there reading this twaddle cause it's deadly silent regarding emails at my end despite long periods when I can't get to the internet to check on news as we are miles from people let alone internet.
As you can see I am in Turkmenistan now and it is beautiful and wonderful and everything is just as it should be. Apparently it comes only second to North Korea for op pression so I am carefully writing this email to see if anything gets by. The last few days in Uzbekistan were again full of seeing minarets, mosques and blue tiled medrassas ( Islamic schools) all from the 11th century on and extremely beautiful but the feeling was similar to when i got all templed out in India - you can have too much of a good thing. Also most of them have been so restored its like they are brand new and in doing so the Russians have preserved them but sucked out any life blood. Its all a bit sterile. We stayed in hotels as there is no camping allowed there but since then we have been able to camp in Turkmenistan so good old Turkmenistan. I love it here and would recommend all my friends to come and spend their mony on a trip here.
Margaret the woman who left the trip as soon as she got here managed to get a flight home and so we are now using her kitty money to pay for the room she should have shared with one of us and JOY of JOYS I have had it to sleep on my own - plus the room had a double bed- I slept like a star fish for 2 whole nights - except I didn't sleep. The heat has got to me of late and it has melted my intestines.  As far as i am aware this is not a listed condition but I think someone should do research on the melt point of intestines. It would be a really interesting project for someone and helpful to mankind. What hasn't helped is driving into the desert and arriving at 12 noon when the temperature is 3million centigrade and there is no shade. The fridge has all but packed in and the driver is paranoid about people opening the fridge door. I am supposed to be managing a bar - we are in the middle of the desert and there are cold beers in the fridge. I can only sell them if he isn't around as he will know I have opened the door of the fridge. When evening comes I get out all the beers as people are dehydrating and lying under the truck trying to lick axle grease off the prop shaft for moisture but i am not allowed to put new beers in the fridge as they are warm. Helen and i risked our lives by taking the beers in a crate with slotted sides to the river - yes I know you don't normally get rivers in the desert but we are in Turkmenistan and everything is possible in wonderful Turkmenistan- the water was warm but i thought it may have an effect on the liquid refreshment. It did - the crate sank in the mud - as did we and then it got dark and no-one wanted to get the beers from the muddy fast flowing river in the dark - and there was me thinking they were all adventurers. We also had to use the sand mats for their proper use for the first time. Instead of BBQing lamb we stuck them under the wheels of the truck to get us out of deep shit - well sand actually but it was not what you need when everyone is tired and hot after a long drive.
Last night we bushcamped in another remote place called Darvarsa - no water this time- just goats, camels, a man and boy on a motorbike and blue blue skies. We were told by other truckers that the journey would take at least 13 hours so we set off at ridiculous o'clock and drove along the worst roads known to mankind. They were seriously worse than any road South America or Africa has thrown at me but after a 2/3 hours we hit tarmac - oh bliss. We did the journey in just under 4 houurs so arrived in this bushcamp at just before noon and the full heat of the day. I had stomach cramps so badly every time i moved I just wanted to cry. There was no shade and they even had to take down the tarpaulin from the truck - our only shade - as a freak gust twisted it like a windmill. I lay prostrate on one of the seats for 6 hours willing myself to sleep. I even sold hot beers and Pepsis to people - they were so desparate for something other than water. Apparently axle grease isn't as addictive as I first thought. At 9pm just after the sun had gone down our transport arrived. A huge 4x4 bus - I kid you not with 3 blokes who had accepted the mission of taking us to the infamous gas craters. Its getting dark the bus has never made this 6km journey before and every sand dune looks pretty much like the last. This truck is fantastic - but then it is from Turkmenistan -(am I overdoing this - I brown nose so irregularly I don't know when to stop!) and the guy driving it is having fun putting it into 4 wheel drive whilst moving uphill - smell of clutch burning. Anyway we saw the glow of the crater way before we got there. It was a truely amazing site. Its huge and there are 2 very good reasons not to get too close to the edge 1 is that the sides of the crater are less thsn safe and they occasionally land slide but reason number 2 is that it is so f*cking hot. No need to have my eyebrows waxed now. Unfortunately the heat also intensified my intestinal problem so I am lying on the edge of a burning furnace trying to pretend i am taking artisitc shots. I guess its the narest I will ever get to hell and I can't believe that it hasn't featured more in films as a location. After an hour in the orange glow we started to come back only the truck wasn't as good coming up hills as it was at going down so feeling like I was about to die we got out and I walked the 3km back in the moonlight on sliding sand. I was so exhausted the good thing was that I slept like a baby all night and didn't even need the hole I had predug in case of emergency. To be continued...................
I have now been in Ashgabat for a couple of days now and it is truely fantastic here - really. we are staying in a really nice hotel with a massive swimming pool and so I have spent quite a lot of time there. Bet I am up on you with swimming Lara!Yesterday was Sunday and there is a  local farmers market which attracts trade from all around the area. There were loads of traditional Turkmen there wearing lots of robes tied around the waist, 2 pairs of shoes - well one pair of leather boots and a pair of rubber overshoes and a huge long goat hair hat (I can't spell astrakhan?!?) that are so massive the family probably sleep on them at night. In this heat I wonder why their intestines don't melt - more questions for research?? Anyway these chaps go to buy and sell camels, sheep , cows etc. Its no mean feat to buy things as costly as this as the money is also unusual. There are 14,000 manets to the $ and the largest note is 10,000. A cow was half a million manats, not that i bought one, so everyone is walking around with huge bags of cash.  When they have selected their beasts all the camels are herded next to their open topped trucks and then the process of transporting them into the truck begins. This is aided by a man with a hoist and several helpers. the camels are trussed up like the proverbial Christmas turkey and then slings are put at their front and back end. The camels are complaining like mad all the time but then they are raised 12 feet off the ground and swung around like spinning tops till they are high above the truck and then quite unceremoniously lowered onto the awaiting cow or sheep and they all vie for space in the truck, despite having their legs tethered. The camels didn't appreciate the theme park type ride and bellowed for all they were worth - ie a carrier bag full of money! Fantastic photo opportunities - when did you last see a flying camel?? I also have another theory that this is why all camels are so bloomin bad tempered. I had great admiration for the men who stood in the truck and lowered the camel into it beside them as it was their job to hang onto the tail and by pulling on it to guide them to the best place- it also seemed to me that they were putting themselves at high risk of being shat on though that particular photo opportunity didn't arise.
Yesterday afternoon we also went to look at carpets. Our local guide is a bit of a geezer and general all round guy( trained as  vet but there are very few opportunities here for vets - came to the UK but wasn't accepted very well by the trade and finished up working on building sites for 2 years while he learnt English). Anyway he arranged for us to go and see his boss's partner who apparently had some carpets for sale. He didn't have an address but we drove to a meeting up point and then phoned him. Are you getting the picture. His house was like a carpet factory - no looms - just hundreds of carpet - buckets of green tea and biscuits. It was hard to make decisions with so much on offer but awash with tea I finally gave in before I burst and bought one. This morning he has come back to the hotel to collect some cash from me and to give me a certificate, in Russian, which I cannot read. I have had the carpet posted to you Lara so please accept the unsolicited gift posted to your address that is carpet sized and originates from Turkmenistan. I feel very confident at giving him your address and telephone number Lara and he has again this morning confirmed that he is not mafia and will not use your address to clear out your bank account. My guess is that you have done that already with furnishing the extension!!
Last night was Richies last night with us and we went to the night club in the hotel. There is an 11pm curfew here which people seem to ignore but there are lots of men in uniform on the streets after this time. Well the club was filled with lots of young girls who all danced alone on the dance floor and flicked their hair around a lot. It's peculiar that I hadn't seen any of these girls around the pool during the day and none of them made it to breakfast either but most of the business men who they ended up chatting to did - funny that. One girl was an obvious gymnast who was practicing her moves as she kept stretching her legs up as high as they could go and then would back up to the table and then bend over till her back was as flat as a board and then practice her hips rolls. Very interesting to watch. Richie was not able to speak for much of the time, I think he was tired. He was still quite dazed this morning.
We are having trouble with getting our Azerbajan visas (so what's new) so we are having to stay another day in this hotel. I guess that's another afternoon sitting by the poolside and struggling with the suntan. Tomorow we are off to another bushcamp at an underground lake - sulpher springs at 37 degres but  guess that will feel quite cool. Need to go and buy many many more beers as Andy has potentially had the fridge fixed- something to do with regasing. Oh by the way - I'm farting well again!!
On that note I'll say bye till the next time.
Victoria.
xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Print this entry Share

Previous Entry Next Entry