3 months!

Trip Start Oct 08, 2009
Trip End Nov 11, 2009

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Flag of United States  , Ohio
Thursday, February 4, 2010

Well, it has been almost 3 months since we have been home from Ukraine with Talia.  Tonight since she is over at my mom's staying the night I have a little bit more time than usual and I thought I would do some reflection.

Talia has come so far already!  She is speaking all the time in English, or at least attempting to.  She is successfully going to a 1 hour preschool class at the YMCA.  She is now eager to take baths.  Talia is going up and down the stairs by herself, coloring a lot better and able to peel off stickers.  She is wearing her glasses all the time and her eyes are able to focus so much better. 

Some things that she still has to conquer are getting upset when anyone leaves- especially the twins, bedtime, sharing, and still needs to develop her fine motor skills a bit more.  Physically she has gained about 3-4 pounds since she has been home, but she has been through a few colds and been on antibiotics so hopefully she will grow more physically this spring.

Originally we were taking Talia on Tuesdays to the same sitter as my sister's twin girls.  Unfortunately, after a few weeks we realized that it was not a good fit for Talia right now.  The sitter had other children so she wasn't able to give Talia the attention she wanted.  Talia also didn't understand when other parents came to pick up their children.  It made her upset that she couldn't leave as well.  So for right now we have a nanny come in just on Tuesdays and then Thursdays I am off work with her.  MWF she stays at my mom's house with the twins.  The new nanny is working out very well, and seems to give Talia a little break from everything.  One of the twins, Kyla, can do no wrong in Talia's eyes and she just follows Kyla around all day long.  The other twin, Claire, and her don't get along quite as well, and just this past week they fought over standing in the same spot!  They all three love each other though and it is great to see the close bond they have formed so quickly.

This past weekend we drove up to Cleveland and got to see Zhenia for a couple hours because he flew in for a seminar that our adoption agency held.  It was great to see him!  He said that Scott is still a big man and that I am still emotional.  Haha.  I guess he has us all figured out!  We spoke with other potential adoptive families and gave them advice and then talked with Zhenia a little more.  The agency was encouraging us to go through the process again, but Scott and I are no where near ready to adopt yet.  We want to make sure to give Talia enough time to adjust and we want to be fair to her.  We are not for sure that we will even adopt again.

I think that the whole process of becoming a parent, whether by birth or adoption is such a huge change that you really can't prepare for.  Scott and I had read all our books, taken courses, filled out tons of paperwork, but nothing could have prepared us for trying to get a 3 year old Ukrainian speaking child to sleep on an overnight train!  I don't think we realized how tough it would be to communicate and set rules/boundaries.  We had to immediately teach her that we were the parents and to do what we said, but we had to convince ourselves of that first!  Why were we suddenly able to be in charge of a 3 year old?  Just because a judge ruled that and so there it was.  I think that was one of the hardest parts for me was believing and trusting in myself, because if I didn't then she certainly wouldn't either!  

We have enjoyed and are enjoying seeing all the new things through Talia's eyes, but we constantly have to remind ourselves that 3 months ago she lived in an orphanage and didn't even know us!  Sometimes Scott and I both get frustrated with Talia throwing a tantrum or not going to bed easily, but she is not a child that received love and care from a parent since she was born.  I have spoken with a couple of mom's that adopted through the agency and most of them have said that things get better around the 6-9 month point as far as language, tantrums, and sleeping go.  Can't wait till we get to that point!  Haha.  As a mother now I am constantly worried if I am doing the right thing for her and what we should do for her in the future.  I am so worried that I will make some huge mistake and she will end up hating me.  I guess that is pretty normal though from what I hear.  

For now, Scott and I will keep growing as parents and trying to do the best things for Talia.  Both of our families are very supportive and love Talia.  I don't know how you couldn't though, she is such a cutie!  Here are some more pictures for you to enjoy! 

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Willa on

Talia is such a lucky /blessed little girl to have such wonderful parents as you both are!!!

Thank you so much for sharing Talia's updates. She is a blessing!

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