Land of the Abbreviated Simile
Trip Start
Nov 01, 2004
1
39
51
Trip End
??? ??, 2006
West Coast,
New Zealand
Monday, October 17, 2005
When Kiwis want to describe something good they say "sweet as". If they're busy then they're "busy as". I'm not sure whether they're too lazy to complete the simile ("sweet as a nut") or just leaving it up to the listener's imagination ("sweet as a nut dipped in chocolate sauce with chocolate sprinkles on top").
After the glaciers we headed to Wanaka, a little town on a lake
Bungee site in Queenstown
. Pretty as! If I recall correctly Lake Wanaka is one of the deepest lakes in New Zealand. Is anyone impressed by that statistic? Once it's deep enough to swim in and keep the fish happy who cares? You don't see many people looking at lakes and admiring how deep they are. Despite our brilliant, bumper, free stuff weekend in Franz Josef we didn't have much money in Wanaka. But in the end it didn't matter as the best thing to do in Wanaka was walk around the lake and have picnics. Without realising it at the time we managed to walk over 20 kilometers in one day.After completing every possible short walk in Wanaka we headed to Queenstown. I'd seen Queenstown before on travel programs - you know the ones where the presenter stays in the nicest hotel, eats in the best restaurants, does all the expensive activities and then says it's a great place. I'd think Blackpool was brilliant if I got all that for free. We weren't staying in the best hotel, although the patch of grass where we pitched our tent had great views. We couldn't afford nice restaurants but we did get to eat Fergburgers. We'd heard a lot of good reviews about Fergburgers but they lived up to their reputation. Delicious as!
I'd wanted to do some white water rafting but the rivers on the South Island have recently been invaded by a plant called Rock Snot. It doesn't harm humans but I think I can live without falling out of a raft and getting a mouthfull of something called Rock Snot. Gross as! I'd wanted to go skiing too but all the snow has melted early and the ski fields are closed. Before I came to NZ I had a vision of a country in which every second bridge had a queue of people waiting to jump off with only a rope tied to their legs. It was quite disappointing to find this wasn't the case
Fergburger
. The nearest we got to bungy jumping was watching people jump off a bridge over the Kawarea River. The sun was shining and the setting was spectacular. An English guy who jumped said afterwards it was the best thing he's ever done. We later found out he worked in assurance back home so he probably isn't too used to exciting stuff.So with bungy jumping, white water rafting and skiing all ruled out the only exciting thing left to do in Queenstown was luging. And luckily for us it was the cheapest thing to do. Sweet as! Luging involved getting a cable car up a mountain, sitting on a little plastic sleigh on wheels and then flying down the hill. Not death defying stuff but they do make you wear a cycling helmet.
In our hostel in Queenstown we met Mad Clare from Yorkshire who had been living in the hostel for the past 3 months. To anyone who would listen she talked non-stop about random old friends of hers and how tomatoes start to lose their vitamin C the moment they're cut. If no one was listening she talked to the hostel dog instead. Although irritating at times it's sort of nice to know that really mad people can travel the world too.
In Te Anua we stayed in the garden of the lovely Barnyard Backpackers
Fjordland
. We were supposed to go kayaking in Milford Sounds on Sunday morning. But at 6am in the pre-dawn gloom we sort of drove the car into a ditch. It wouldn't go forward and it wouldn't go back. I'm no mechanic but I think the technical term is stuck. Luckily Mr Barnyard Backpackers, owner of the hostel, had a really big tractor which after a lot of effort pulled the car out. He even tried to make us feel better by telling us about some Dutch backpackers that had got their car stuck between two walls the previous year. I think he was making that up. Surprisingly the car was fine afterwards except for a strange noise which we decided to ignore until it stopped.We tried to go kayaking again on Monday morning and this time successfully drove to the meeting point. Milford Sound is actually a fjord. And I now know what the difference is. Travelling around NZ is turning into one massive geography lesson. After the guides made us wear the most unflattering thermal leggings, tops and kayaking skirts we set off to paddle around the fjord checking out the penguins, dolphins and seals. Fjordland is really fantastic and the locals are pretty interesting too. Every year on April Fools Day they have a naked race through the Homer Road tunnel. Crazy as!
Comments
'sup?
alrite lads!How are you keeping?just looking at the photos from the glaciers and they look deadly!very jealous as i prefere walking on glaciers rather than doing college projects!thanks for naming a burger after me aswell!enjoy the travels and session of DART yaniv upon yoursa return!peace
the fergburger