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What's Up Doc? - Part II - Lost in Translation
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Part II - Lost in Translation
(Originally Written November 28, 2007)
After my appointment with Dr. Andrea today, I took the train to see the lung specialist she referred me to. Before I left, all she gave me was a piece of paper with my name on it and some German scribbles. I was in her office when she called ahead to let them know that I was coming and it wasn't a very pleasant phone call from what I could gather. That left me feeling a little anxious but I figured if my appointment with her went so well, than how bad could it really be?
So with my little piece of paper in hand, I hopped off the train and walked down the street to the clinic. As soon as I walked into the office, I realized that no one spoke English. I gave my piece of paper to the receptionist and she snatched it out of my hand. Then she just stared at me. When I didn't do anything, she pointed at the waiting room and said, "Go sit". So I took a seat and waited. I still wasn't completely sure I was in the right place (because the paper I gave her was all in German except for my name).
As I sat there waiting, I heard constant mumble jumble coming from the loud speaker overhead. People kept getting up and walking out. Clearly their names were being called but they were spoken so fast in German that I couldn't understand anything. I suddenly thought to myself, "Wait a minute, what if they call my name and I don't realize it because the words are all garbled? I could end up sitting here all day." So I walked back up to the receptionist and told her that I didn't speak German. She snapped back at me and said, "They will call your name." I replied, "But what if I don't understand it?" She gave me a dirty look and said, "Don't you know your own name?" So back to the waiting room I went.
I waited for about fifteen more minutes paying very close attention to the loud speaker. Then a red-headed woman came in and called my name. She was very friendly and I was so relieved to discover that she spoke English. From what I could gather, she wasn't German either, she was Irish and her name was Iris.
As soon as she came and got me, we walked back to an exam room and she took an x-ray of my chest. Since I've had x-rays before, I knew what to expect and so it wasn't that big of a deal. After the x-rays, I met with the doctor (who didn't speak English at all). Iris had to translate for us so that we could communicate with each other.
This was extremely frustrating and confusing for me because the doctor would look at me and say something and then Iris would look at me and translate. Since I wasn't sure who I was supposed to look at when I spoke, I looked at the doctor and then at Iris and then back at the doctor and then back at Iris. I was so dizzy by the time we were done talking that I didn't know who was saying what to who.
Long story short, my x-rays came back normal and there were no signs of pneumonia. Based on this, the doctor determined that I have a severe case of bronchitis. Since neither she nor Iris knew how to explain it to me because they didn't know the English word, we began playing "charades". Iris went first. She coughed and said, "Not phemonia but worse than a cough". I didn't follow. The doctor went next. She grabbed her throat and muttered, "Bronchial". It took me a minute to figure it out but once I did I said, "Do you mean, bronchitis?" They smiled with excitement, and said, "Ya,Ya ...Bronchitis!"
Once we figured out WHAT I had, the doctor put me on a strong dose of antibiotics. She also wrote me a prescription for some cough drops that you drop on your tongue. The instructions were so vague that they made no sense. This is what the first one said, "Take 5 drops twice a day, and take 20 drops once a day". WHAT? She also wrote me another prescription for a decongestant that was just as confusing. This one read, "Take 1 tablet three times a day or 4 tablets at bedtime, whichever you prefer." What kind of instructions are those?
Needless to say, when I left the lung doctor's office I was almost as confused as I was when I got there. Knowing my chest x-rays were normal was comforting but the rest of the experience left me with more questions than it did answers. How could a piece of paper with a few scribbles on it get me a chest x-ray to begin with? How could a doctor not know the name of the medical condition you have (in German or otherwise)? And how could they prescribe you a medication with the words "whichever you prefer" at the end of it?
Clearly German doctors are way different than they are in the states. Back home they give you so much information that you know exactly what is going on. Here, they don't tell you anything unless you ask and even when you do ask, you won't get an answer because the question ends up getting lost in translation. Just one more thing I will have to adapt to with German culture. One thing I know for sure is how well we have it back home as far as medical care is concerned. Just being able to communicate with a doctor is a luxury we don't have here and what a difference it would make if we did. If only every doctor was like Dr. Andrea...
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| 24. | What's Up Doc? - Part II - Lost in Translation - Cologne, Germany Dec 13, 2007 |
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