Cologne Hotels
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The Audubon
Entry 11 of 61 | show all | print this entry |
Today I had my first experience driving on the Audubon. Since Steve had to pick up his rental car from work, we had to drive to Burscheid together so I could drop him off and bring our temporary rental car back to Cologne. It was not something I wanted to do but rather something I HAD to do. And I knew it was a panic attack just waiting to happen!
The drive to Bursceid wasn't THAT bad until at one point we were going 100mph. As I was holding on for dear life, Steve calmly says to me, "Honey relax, it's not that big of deal...I think I went 120mph yesterday". WHAT! He only slowed down when a cop came speeding up behind us with his lights flashing. I said, "I thought there wasn't a speed limit on the Audubon?" He replies, "Well maybe during rush hour." Gee...you think?
Once I dropped him off at the office, he showed me how to use the GPS navigation system so I could find my way back. He programmed it for me and said, "All you need to do is follow the directions on the screen and listen to the navigator and you'll be all set. It's a piece of cake". Not thoroughly convinced it was "fool proof", I trusted him nonetheless and began my journey back into Cologne.
For those of you not familiar with GPS, it is a computer navigation system installed in vehicles (or purchased to be used in vehicles) to help you navigate your way around without the use of maps. There is a computer display which shows you exactly where you are and where you are going. In addition to that, there is a voice system that talks to you and tells you when you need to make exits and turns and what not.
As a passenger in a vehicle with GPS, this feature is very interesting and often fun to play with. You can adjust the maps to show hotel locations, points of interest, and even see when construction areas are coming up. But as a driver, this system is very distracting and often makes driving very stressful as I soon discovered on my journey home from Burscheid. With my destination programmed and my seatbelt fastened tightly, I pulled out of the parking lot and waved goodbye to Steve. I bid farewell as if we would never see each other again entirely convinced that I might be killed driving back.
Once I made it onto the Audubon, I settled into the slowest lane of traffic, which was still moving at a pretty good speed of 75mph. The Audubon is a freeway much like any other highway in the states except for the fact that cars are traveling at much higher speeds. It is set up such that there are three lanes of traffic...slow, medium, and fast (or at least that's what I could gather anyway). The only disadvantage of driving in the slow lane is the fact that drivers are constantly braking to get off at the exits. And when I say "braking" I mean 50mph to 0 in less than five seconds. German drivers here are very aggressive. They don't use turn signals and they don't give warning when they are going to stop...they just stop.
So after two near collisions with cars in front of me in the slow lane, I decided it was time to change lanes. I was fairly comfortable with the highway at this point and thought to myself, "This really isn't that bad. It's pretty much like driving on any other highway I've been on." So I turned my signal light on, checked my rearview mirrors, and when all was clear, I began to switch lanes. Suddenly out of no where, I hear a horn and a car goes flying past me so fast that I couldn't even tell what color it was. As I watched in shock as the first car blasted past me, another car merged right in front of me. Then he suddenly hit his brakes. My life flashed before my eyes. I was certain I was going do die.
I slammed on the brakes as fast as I could and I missed hitting him by about a foot. There was a traffic jam ahead and the stupid GPS system forgot to tell me about it. Once I caught my breath and thanked God that I survived, I cautiously moved back into the slow lane and I stayed five car lengths behind everybody else until I got off of the highway!
As if the stress of driving on the Audubon wasn't bad enough, the GPS system only made things worse. Steve thinks this feature is the "Cat's Meow"...I totally disagree. First of all, the directions are in meters and kilometers which I'm not familiar with. I'm used to miles and that's about it. So when the map shows distance in meters, I have no idea how far away things are. Steve tried to explain the conversion to me before I left Burscheid but I was too busy worrying about being killed on the Audubon to pay much attention.
The second part of the GPS system that I found very frustrating was the voice of the navigator constantly giving me directions. At first it was somewhat comforting to hear that I was going the right way but after awhile it got really old. The lady on the voice system would tell me where to turn over and over again. Several times I caught myself telling her to "SHUT UP!" Here is an example of one of her directions for an exit that was a mile away...
"Prepare to turn right. Stay in right lane. Stay in right lane for approximately 1000 meters. Continue in right lane. Prepare to turn right. Stay in right lane for approximately 500 meters. Continue in right lane. Prepare to turn right. Stay in right lane for approximately 100 meters. Continue in right lane. Prepare to turn right. Turn right NOW."
Do you think maybe she wants me to turn right? It was hard enough paying attention to the cars blasting by me at 140mph and then to have to deal with her jibber jabber too, it only made things worse. Especially when her directions were not very good anyway. She got me lost three times and what should have been a nice 45-minute trip back took me over an hour and a half.
The other irritating thing about GPS is the fact that once you get into a city it becomes even more difficult to pay attention to what she's telling you. Not only are you trying to follow her directions, but you are also trying to pay attention to stoplights, pedestrian, people riding bicycles, and in Cologne...trains. For example...when I was trying to find my way back to the hotel to return the rental car, I had to drive through several busy streets to get there. Well, I missed one of my turns because a person walkedright in front of me and I got frazzled. Of course the GPS lady got all over me for that. "Proceed forward, then make immediate U-turn. Then turn left." So I followed her instructions and when I got to the next light (where she told me to go), it was a one-way street going the other way. Thanks a lot! I stopped listening to her after that and drove around on my own until I finally found it.
Needless to say, I will NEVER drive on the Audubon again by myself. And I'm not certain I'll be too quick to drive on it again with Steve either...100mph is just too fast for me! And as far as the GPS system goes, the only time I'll ever use one of those again is if it comes equipped with a mute button!
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