Photos to follow
Day 113 - Tuesday 16 December
Up for week's Travelpod at our favourite internet cafe so far - 'Buddies' opposite Central Mall in Chiang Mai. Very quick and cheap with good screens air con etc. This should be the model for all good internet providers. Even give free hours connection every time you spend over an hour which only costs 40 baht -60p. Anyway, enter probably the most boring week's entry in the history of Travelpod which will, in every likelihood, be surpassed by this weeks.
So, you have been warned. Do yourself a favour and go and play with your presents or something. For those of you who didnt get any presents and are still with us here goes-
After snorepod get couple of donuts in Mister Donut at 10p each - see I told you this would be boring. Check out of YMCA and head to station about 4pm. Think about calling into North Wheels to kick up a stink about our treatment but decide that that would not be the Buddhist way. Board carriage No 1 - 1st Class Soft sleeper of course - and greeted with glass of orange juice which we are later ripped off for 100 baht. Apparently a common scam on the train so refuse when offered. Brought along papers mags beer etc so were self sufficient. Shortly after departure it got dark so nothing to look at out the window. Rather than stare at each other we called the attendant to make up our beds. Very comfy and long enough for me to stretch out. Even with all 8 air con jets switched off the cold icy tentacles seep through the blanket provided. In fairness the blanket is of the type your Granny crocheted during the war when wool was in short supply. Cover myself with the 2 towels provided, put on clothes and spend the night getting up, walking down the carriage and smoking with the few other addicts on board. Nicola seems oblivious on the top bunk.
Day 114 - Wednesday 17 December
Awake at 5.45am to sound of guard waking others. Get up and wash in sink. Guard unbedrooms our carriage and breakfast of pineapple, sandwich and sweet coffee is delivered. A slow procession through the rough outskirts of Bangkok reveals a similar pattern of the locals, although their sandwiches are undoubtedly fresher than ours. Arrive as advertised at 6.50 and get metered taxi to Eastern Bus Terminal. Traffic deadly through town and as we refuse to pay driver the toll road fare and insist he turns on the meter he huffs and takes us on tour of the cities traffic jams. Arrive at bus terminal to find we have just missed bus but only 40 mins to wait. Once on board we get a taste of what to expect in Pattaya. The worlds ugliest men with their young Thai boys and girls. Only in the odd David Lynch film have I seen such a collection of human oddities. Thankfully the bus makes the trip in just over 2 hours so we are spared any further shows. We are herded onto a tuk-tuk going into the centre. When it reaches its journeys end we discover that we are stll some 12kms from our resort. The driver agrees to take us out for 150baht. not too bad. The Pinnacle Resort is south of Jomtien Beach which is the least tacky of the area so we are well enough out of it. A long driveway off the main dual-carriageway leads to a much nicer than expected place. Lovely gardens, swimmming pools, beach and a nice room with balcony overlooking the stage beside one of the pools. The downside is that it is overrun with our Germanic friends. All are old enough to have served during WW2. Have lovely dinner by the pool with live cover band accompanyment. Dinner costs 200baht, drink 1300baht - there was a 'special' wine promotion on. To bed and fall asleep to the strains of Deutchland Uber Alis.
Day 115 - Thursday 18 December
Decide to play golf so get lift from hotel to Phoenix Golf Club about 20 mins away. Nicest clubhouse I have ever seen and beautiful course. Costs 2050 baht inc clubs caddie etc. Play with a middle aged Swiss couple, which is nice although golf is poor. Back to resort where Nicola has spent the day in the sun reading Stephen Fry's - The Stars Tennis Balls which is pretty good - 6/10. Nice dinner again only slightly spoiled by a family of warring Scousers. The only non-Germans in the resort apart from us.
Rules With Exceptions
Just a quick note to explain my terrible spelling which I can only be bothered occassionally to correct using the Spell Check. I think it all started in school with the i before e except after c rule. Rules shouldnt have exceptions. The minute the teacher came out with that stupid 'learning aid' I was lost to spelling. 'Their' for example . For the same reason I have never learnt the number of days in each month. 30 days have Sept, April May and Nov, all the rest have 31 EXCEPT......yeah right - get a freakin calendar. This is also why I am exceptional at maths. There are no exceptions in Maths - a proper subject. Therefore no complaints about spelling thanks very much Christine.
Day 116 - Friday 19 December
See above only my golf was better and I played with a couple of Finnish paedophiles. Golf of course.
Day 117 - Saturday 20 December
Get Resort's shuttlebus into Pattaya for bit of shopping and paedo spotting. Went to Ripley's Believe it or Not Museum in Garden Plaza which was largely believable except for the price. Back to Resort for dinner by the pool. Tonight was the Staff Variety Show which was actually rather good. I think the lead guy/gal had a wee eye for me. Nicola orders Chicken with Garlic and Crushed Pepper for the fourth night in a row.
Day 118 - Sunday 21 December
Did absolutely nothing today.
Day 119 - Monday 22 December
Leave Pinnacle Resort today without either myself or Nicola so much as dipping a toe in the pools or sea. Leave the guests with nothing but their war crimes to help them see in the new year. Shuttle to Pattaya Bus Station and get 11am to Bangkok. Taxi to Grand Erawan Hyatt Hotel. Bloody luxury. Beautiful room, beautiful hotel. Have lovely Blueberry Cheesecake and Latte in lobby. Leave message for friend Chris Conway who, as Food and Beverage Director of the Hyatt, has got us a deal on the room. Nicola actually hangs up our clothes for the first time in nearly four months. Head into nearby malls for a bit of Christmas shopping. Double nightmare for P because its also Nic's birthday on 27th Dec. P plans to get her a massage or some other beauty treatment in Hotel but she decides she doesnt want this. Geoff, who joins us from home in few days, discovers that his flight and accommodation deal doesnt include accommodation. Therefore get him booked into Hyatt which will be handier.
There. Its done. Hope that wasnt too hard for you all. Tune in next week for another exciting episode. - P & N
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