I hate flies

Trip Start Dec 06, 2006
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Trip End Ongoing

Flag of Australia  ,
Friday, February 29, 2008

I was fondly woken by a kick from Ben at around 5.30, there was no lie ins on this tour and also very little food for a while. Breakfast was the usual deal of cereal and toast. But only if you get in there to grab some milk as it was all gone before I got near it. That's ok, I'll have lots of toast. Or two small slices before all that had been nabbed too. Never mind, there's always lunch. On the first day we'd been given individual sarnies so at least I knew I'd get my rations. Hmmm. We jumped on the bus and drove to The Olgas, or Kata Tjuta depending on your preference, for the Valley of the Winds walk. It wasn't especially interesting to start with but the end of it was spectacular walking between a couple of the mammoth rocks. It felt hotter that day even though the place was living up to it's name with a strong breeze. The hardest thing about the day was coping with the flies as they were at their worst. You can't relax for a moment without one of the little feckers trying to get up your nose, in your ears or eyes or best of all your gob as I found out when I inhaled one. After all the walking we needed some cooling off and got to Ayers Rock Campground at lunch time. We had a little bit of spare time so a few of us went to jump in the pool. Big mistake. By the time we got back the gannets had been in and demolished any trace of lunch. I could believe it. It was meant to be wraps and some salad had been made and some tuna put out. I'm not a fan of tuna nowadays but still anything would have been an improvement on the scraps I managed to get. After not much brekkie I wasn't a happy bunny. It turned out we still had time to spare and so I could have saved my dip for after food, but as I'm sure you're aware that would have meant breaking the golden rule of swimming.

Next up was a trip to an Aboriginal cultural centre where we learnt nothing really. Aborigines are a secretive bunch, so the centre only really contained information like, boys learn from their fathers and become men. Well, yeah, could have guessed that one. The only way to really learn their way of living and laws is to get initiated. Ben told us he'd been offered the chance but turned in down when he found out what was involved. First up you lose your front two teeth, he wasn't told how but a stick or rock seems the obvious method. Next up, a couple of slices on each arm with some ash rubbed in to cause scarring. Now for the party piece, a circumcision followed by a knife to the shaft slicing your john thomas open, which is then sealed back up using a burning stick leaving a hole at the bottom which becomes a method of contraception. I can't believe Ben didn't go through with it. I accused him of not taking his duties as a tour guide seriously.

We then popped over to have our first look at Ayers Rock. We walked a couple of viewpoints and Ben told us some of the stories behind a couple of sacred spots. He'd been told these stories as they were basically children's ones. By then sunset wasn't far away so we drove over to the view point where the coach loads of posh punters were jumping out to enjoy their champagne. We on the other hand were awaiting our tea which Ben was cooking whilst we snapped away. It wasn't that great unfortunately. It was a bit hazy so there wasn't much of the spectacular colour changing we were hoping for. Still, that didn't stop me clicking away as the sunset itself, near the Olgas was still good to look at so poor old Uluru was a bit neglected. I then headed back to the bus to see it was nearly serving time. I wasn't holding back. I adopted a European queuing system and went straight to the front. Someone said Chefs first, so I shouted, I reckon the people who got absolutely nowt for lunch should be going first and then proceeded to spoon myself out a good pile of gruel. Not the most impressive looking meal, but still, I needed it. I did receive a bout of instant karma for barging in though. The rice, which was a little bit more of a rice soup, was boiling hot and I burnt my tongue on it.

Back to base for more beers and camping, although after I'd eaten nowt then stuffed myself my body was having a bit of a fit, so in the end I left the others to it and didn't bother with any beer.
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