Stupid yet brilliant plan
Trip Start
Dec 06, 2006
1
82
188
Trip End
Ongoing
Fox Glacier,
New Zealand
Saturday, June 23, 2007
The weekend started out with a few scare stories from people from work about the various mountain pass roads being shut and the weather forecast was for a southern wind blasting in snow storms so it was all looking good as I left work on Thursday for the airport. It started out a bit disastrously when I tried driving to the airport and got stuck in a particularly badly designed junction. I'm sure the cars that were continually driving past me were going in a big loop and finding it funny. Eventually a nice man stopped and let all the people stuck pass through. I then got to the long stay car park and there was no one to be seen which although wasn't a problem getting my car in due to the automatic barriers, it did mean that the shuttle bus wasn't about.
001 snow on the hills
By this time I was late and so had to run, hobble, drag (I had a big bag full of all my clothes so I wouldn't freeze) and walk. By the time I arrived at check in I had a few minutes to spare and was sweating uncontrollably which is always a winning look when your next stop is passing through security checks. Thankfully they didn't read too much in to my perspiration levels and the flight to Christchurch passed without incident. We got picked up by Cheri and headed to buy supplies for the trip, including plenty energy bars in case we got snowed in to the car on the way. The next day we were up bright and early to set off on our way. It turned out Cheri's old car had been playing up so we hired a Nissan Micra for the weekend and also some snow chains as the AA road report said they were essential. The chains were the least of my long legged worries but luckily the seat went back far enough so I could drive.
Amazingly the drive was straightforward, we got stopped on the way towards Arthurs Pass but that was just a check to make sure we had chains. The good news was that they weren't needed. The roads were a bit slushy, sometimes icy, occasionally snowy but drivable all the way. They clear the snow and grit the roads over here, but they grit them with stones rather than salt. Seems like madness but thinking about it, it's probably because if they melted the snow on inclines at altitude they'd end up with dangerous icy patches everywhere. So it's more about being able to grip the ice than getting rid of it.
002 a bit windy up there too
Seemed to work anyway and we made our way to the other side and along the coast road down to Fox Glacier whilst Louisa opened her many birthday pressies on the way. We found out when we got there that a good few people had been snowed in, all the roads south were blocked and the road north had been too until just before we'd driven in by the sounds of it. It was then a case of keeping our fingers crossed for more good luck weather wise but first we went to get some food at the pub. I had chicken enchilada, and no that wasn't a mistake, that's a singular enchilada and the proportion of enchilada to salad was entirely wrong. Not the best and it turned out Louisa wasn't too chuffed with her steak either. The portions were a bit out of line as Cheri ordered ribs and the largest plate of dead animal ever seen turned up. In the end Louisa and I helped out to finish them off and we headed back to the hostel.
When we got back I snuck off and assembled some candles on a cake I'd sneakily bought in Christchurch and lit them. They turned in to a fair old fire hazard and a lack of cameras to capture the moment faded as an important element to procedings due to a worry of a firey death. After they'd thankfully been blown out without setting fire to something we got our cameras and tried a second attempt with posed pictures. I think this was a step too far. Although again, the candles were successfully put out, a few minutes later the fire alarm went off! The manager didn't notice we were sat there with a smoking cake when he came to reset the alarm and the poor people that were the only ones left cooking were feeling guilty and flapping away at some completely harmless steam.
003 toilet art in arthurs pass
Time for an early night as it was hopefully going to be a big day...I woke up and looked out at blue skies, stunning stuff, it was looking good for a trip on the glacier. We headed over to the guide company and off we went to the helipad! Yes, oh yes, I was off on a heli hike, how exciting. I layered up all of my clothes and put on an extra pair of socks over the two I was already wearing. After a quick bit of safety advice and boot fitting we were soon strapped in to the helicopter. It was absolutely brilliant. I want to buy a helicopter! Unfortunately it was over really too quickly and I was sat in the middle of the back, but we did a bit of a scenic fly over a higher section of the glacier and had a look at a waterfall before landing in the winter wonderland.
There was about a foot of snow up there and so that made the fitting of the crampons a bit tricker. After a while everyone was kitted up and ready to head off. The first cheery tale we were told was of someone on a guided walk who tripped in a crevasse and only fell his own height but it was far enough for him to get stuck to the point he could hardly breath and it took a couple of them with ropes to get him out. Essentially falling down a crevasse equals death. Fun fun fun. But it was! We passed over a good few crevasses as the guide tried to figure out where were going in the snow which was hiding all the features. We found a few ice caves which contained every shade of icy blue you could think of. We also passed through a few tight squeezes, so it was a bit like a caving session but in the ice rather than rock.
004 arthurs pass in the snow
Really good fun, except the bit when I got my pie eating fat gut stuck. A lad in front of me had been stuck too but after some cajoling and a bit of brute force had slid through. Just looking at it I could tell it wasn't a Paul sized hole in the ice and my thoughts were proved right when I was half way through with it getting tighter at the end. I had a go though, the guide came back to find me in a sideways ski sit sort of position pretty much becoming a permanent fixture of the glacier. His first bit of advice of breathing half out didn't help and after pulling some stuff about in my jacket pocket I was still there except that by now my right thigh was starting to burn so I'd slipped down to rest on my left knee. It was better, but I wasn't really in a position of comfort as my hip was then trapped. He asked if I could breathe which was nice and then headed off. I was fine, in fact finding it funny and laughing with Ann, an Edinburgh lass who was patiently waiting for me to get my fat ass out the way so she could get through. The guide then came back with his pick axe and start hacking about my chest! Nearby that is, luckily he thought hacking the ice in to pieces was a better idea than hacking up me. He removed a chunk which meant that if I could stand up, no mean feat, then I could get myself through. With another effort I just about managed it and finally got myself over the bit that was trapping my hip and through so we could continue on our trip. In total we had well over 2 hours on the ice and because we'd been taken in by a helicopter it meant we got to see really amazing icy stuff that you just don't get lower down.
005 Louisa looking surprisingly content
It was excellent, I really enjoyed playing in the snow, seeing the glaciers, crawling around ice caves and I definitely want to go in a helicopter again! There was no hanging about afterwards though as once that treat was over there was the journey back to think of. We were booked to stay at Hokitika up the coast to make the journey to ChCh a bit easier on the Sunday. The little Micra was doing its bit and got safely past the wobbly winding road between the two glaciers. Not far beyond Franz Josef we got a puncture though, d'oh! I'd been driving over some cats eyes, mainly for entertainment - gotta keep your driving skills up to date, but I'd be shocked and stunned if that was the reason behind it. The cats eyes are harsh over here so maybe one of them bumped something else in to the tyre from the various piles of grit we'd been through. There was also some roadworks just before it happened. There were no clues on the tyre itself but no matter, I quickly swapped on the space saver and we headed on to Hokitika to see if there was a garage open. The 50mph limit on space savers isn't so much of a problem here as that's 80kph which isn't far off the limit and not far off the travelling speed anyway in the conditions. We got there and all the places we saw were shut so we asked in a shop and were directed to a dodgy looking place run by a very odd man. New Zealand is just jam packed full of freaks and weirdos. All very entertaining. He asked me what was wrong with the wheel. I said are you going to tell me it's on back to front. He said yes and then asked several times why the nut was tapered. I don't think he knows what tapered means as it was flat. He then asked who does my car repairs, again, fairly pointlessly. A mechanic does, weird man, I'm not trained. Anyway, on closer inspection of the tread on the spare and the back of it, which was flattened to fit flush against the car, I'm happy in the knowledge I'd fitted the spare perfectly well. Odd ball. What mattered was that we'd found somewhere to do the job and we then went and booked in to the hostel which was run by an incompetent midget. She had me booked in to a womens dorm and eventually gave me a key to a room with no lock, she also managed to swipe and fail to charge Louisa's card about 4 times. I know mocking the afflicted is bad, but I just managed to stop laughing when she stood up and wasn't any taller. You could have kept her in your pocket. You wouldn't want to though, she was bizarre looking, she was living up to the reputation of NZ being behind the times by being from the 80s complete with big hair and way too much make up. Can't complain about the hostel otherwise though, the room I ended up in was empty other than me and just 16 bucks. Bargain. I can complain about the chinese we got from down the road, although cheap it contained a pile of gristle, bleeeeuuuurrrgghhhh.
Next day and back on the road again, by now the roads were clearing even more, and it wasn't too long before we were back in sunny hellhole Christchurch, thankfully just for a few hours before flying back to windy welly.
