Easy Riders!

Trip Start Sep 04, 2012
Trip End Aug 02, 2013

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Flag of Vietnam  , Da Nang,
Saturday, December 1, 2012

That silly Vietnamese woman on the train was the only blot on what was a beautiful coastal journey, particularly between Hue and Danang! Certainly beats Blackpool North to Preston! Danang was our first beach destination, which was surprisingly deserted as it was a lovely big beach and the sea was warm!! Right, tea. "Hello, do you have a menu we could look at please?"....."Welcome to our restaurant - come and sit down and I'll get you a menu."........Fair enough......"Have you got an ENGLISH menu!!!!?"...last time we checked our Vietnamese wasn't great!!! Still, decent meal! The next day we got COOKED on the beach......BLEEDIN RED RAW!! Helen Ryan would have b@llocked me if she saw me....not enough suncream!! Lunch of fish and chips soothed that a bit.......accompanied, OBVIOUSLY, with a complimentary 'jellyfish salad!!' It was tough as old boots!! MINGO!! Same place as last night for tea, where Kala had a whole fried chicken.....head, feet and everything!! (She didn't eat the head or the feet.....but my point is they were there...!!)!
Our final day in Danang was pivotal to the rest our week actually. We walked past a billiards hall where a couple of oldish blokes chatted to us about a motorbike tour into the west of Vietnam for 3 days before dropping us off along the East coast again, a bit further down from Danang. They were characters....we liked them....so we went for it! "Ive only gone and got us a couple of Easy Riders!!" (Quote Kala). They first took us to Hoi An, a very popular little town about 30km from Danang as a 'trial run' if you like, via Marble Mountain, which was another mountain where Buddhism was popular. It was nice....and the only mountain i've ever known where you can get up either by climbing the steps, or getting the 'shopping centre style' elevator!!
Hoi An is probably the reason why Danang is so quiet, as all the tourists get themselves here instead! It's kind of similar to Luang Prabang in Laos.....lots of market stalls and nice foodie places packed into small, idyllic streets. You could holiday here. Very popular. It blew a massive hole in the budget aswell as we had some tailor-made clothes made! A suit and two dresses! Cheap until you add the cost of the postage!!! Saw two fights aswell! It seems if you get in a scuffle over here, you pick a brick up!! One fight was a guy with two bricks vs a guy with one leg!! Unfair!!!!
Our two 'Easy Riders' picked us up from Hoi An......."PAU GA'COINE....PAU GA'COINE ....PAU' GA'COINE..!! Never had that one before! Our two riders were 'Van', who's favourite film was 'Dundee Crocodile!!' and I swear Kala's rider was called 'Kill!!!'. So when she headbutted him TWICE when he broke, I was concerned for her ha ha!!! Kill wore a mask that made him look like 'Sub-Zero' out of 'Mortal Kombat' and a bit like the 'Stig' when he had his helmet on!! "PRIVA' RYA.......PRIVA' RYA...."........Van never seems to quite finish his words ha ha!!!
Our 3-day journey took us through a bit of real Vietnam, as, along with stunning countryside, Van showed us cotton, brooms and rice paper all being handmade and showed us coffee, pepper and rubber plantations along our journey so we felt we learnt something aswell!! We had a dip in a couple of lovely springs which was nice because there was nobody else there and also had a wander round some ruins in a place called 'My Son' that were built by the jungle tribes at the time for worship, but were decimated in the war. The route took us on the 'Ho Chi Minh trail' which is now a proper highway. During the war, however, soldiers used the trail as a means of logistical support which, at the time, was covered by the trees so the Americans couldn't detect their whereabouts!! Fascinating stuff! We learnt that the Vietnamese language has more tones than the Chinese...6.... so the word 'ma', depending on how you say it, could mean 'mother, horse, ghost, graveyard, but or small rice picker!!'. There must have been instances of people calling other peoples mum's horses!!! Oh, and there's not much that they DON'T eat over here! Dog and cat are available and he even told us how people killed rats and mice to eat them......by inserting their middle finger (while their still alive!!) down its throat to rip out it's insides, before cooking most of it to eat!! Christ! Ruthless!!! (Sorry if you're squeamish!)! "WOBBIE FOWLER...WWWWWOBBIE FOWLERRRR!!"
The final day saw Van and Kill turn up the pace!! I think they wanted to get home for tea so they nailed the last 80km or so!!! (I couldn't see what speed we were doing because Van's speedo had no needle!! But we were flyin!!). More beautiful countryside before they dropped us off in Quang Ngai, where we ended our tour! Top tour from a top top bloke!! "VIETNA' NEW.....VIETNA' NEW!!! Kill was alright aswell!! A successful Skype with Kala's 'besties' for Amanda's surprise baby shower topped off a cracking couple of days!!!
The next day we walked to the train station, saw a chicken get run over by a car, and got on our 'hard seats' for the journey to Nha Trang. 'Hard seat' in Vietnam means HARD SEAT, as we were on a wooden 'park bench' for the next 9 hours......not easy on the buns......especially after 3 days on a bike!!!
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Lorraine Nicholls on

Good job there are photos Ryan or I would have thought you were sat at home really!! ha ha - hope you are both enjoying what must be a fabulous experience, it looks so interesting and wonderful, Keep safe, Lozza x

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