Thoughts from Antipodeans Volunteers
Trip Start
Jan 08, 2004
1
42
167
Trip End
Ongoing
Melbourne,
Australia
Sunday, October 16, 2005
He who know himself is enlightened."
Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu
First some news from Thailand: Recently I was reading an article from a reporter who visited Mae Sot. Mae Sot is on the Thai / Burma border and at this point the border is the Moei River. There is an oficial crossing over a bridge and to do this costs a small amount of money. Many Burmese cross for free however by walking under the bridge and through the Moei River. When the reporter asked why the immigration officials ignored this everyday event, the official said: "Plor Waa Khon Thai Jai Dii", meaning it's becuase Thai people are kind hearted / generous.
This year's volunteers have now all finished their placements. Here are 2 emails they sent me. Half were in Vietnam and the other half in India. They spent 3 months living in these areas.
(They refer to me as Dad, Xin Chao is hello in Vietnamese and a Bia Hoi is like a Vietnamese pub - if you have any other questions please ask).
"Xin chao,
The past few days I have been so happy, almost euphoric! I don't know how to describe it because really it is mixed with utter sadness. One week ago, of one of the sons in my Hoi An family, Phuc, was killed in a motor-bike accident on the way home from work. He was 33, married and had three small children: Quyen who's 3, Yen who's 8 and Quan, who's 10. I did not know him because he lived on his coffee plantation in the central highlands. However, I was devastated by his death: I feel part of the family and was upset to see them so distressed. The extended family and friends has spent the past 6 days in rituals and prayers.
So why the happiness? It has been during this time that I have realised just how much I love the family, and how much I will miss them. Death, from my experience, brings the family together and is a special bonding time. Recently we have been cheerful together in order to forget the sadness and tragedy. The other night we took the kids from our family, including Yen and Quan, to Bia Hoi. We brought Tan (Phuc's sister) along too, and she'd never been to one before because Vietnamese women don't drink much beer. At the moment it's Mid-Autumn festival so all the little boys in Hoi An form little groups which dance around in elaborate unicorn costumes. In every street there are tens of unicorns and their accompanying drummers, which come into any building, dance, and ask you for a small amount of money. Anyway, several came into the local bia hoi (plastic chairs and very cheap, fresh beer) and when they came I'd hoist the kids onto my shoulders as a pseudo unicorn and we'd have a duel with the real one! It was such a spontaneous, special time! In the end all the kids were on someone's shoulders and we just went crazy. Just now I have left them all giggling as they watch Charlie Chaplin on TV, while half of the family has gone to Phuc's house to sort things out. Laughter really is the best cure. Phuc's male friends and brothers would argue that beer is.
This time has been an incredible cultural experience. Vietnamese funerals are very different from ours. The men wrap the body in white linen and the coffin sits in the old family house for 3 days. On the first day, monks chanted prayers for Phuc and the family sat behind them praying. Phuc's daughters and wife wore white robes as a sign of their mourning, and continue to wear these for some time. Other family members wear white head bands. We came to present a wreath of flowers but it was vital that that we did this after the body was in the coffin - if friends arrive before it means that you wish the family to die early! Lots of superstitions here. Many friends and family visited over the next 2 days to offer their support. At one of these gatherings someone was trying to convince me that a man was a woman and in the end they dragged me up to feel her boobs and bra in front of all the mourners. One of those moments. The funeral took place on the 3rd day - this was the day the fortune tellers picked. All the men stay up the whole night to drink rice wine and keep the incense burning for Phuc to make him warm. Also cigarettes and food are offered to him to make him comfy. That night there was a mammoth storm which slammed a door and locked me in the semi outside bathroom area so I sat in a puddle for 2 hrs trying to pick the lock!
The funeral was sad but beautiful. A procession of friends/family with flowers on approx 200 motorbikes followed the hearse with family inside, past his old home to the cemetery. Apparently it's good luck to see a funeral, but bad luck to see a wedding! 3 days after the funeral, we went to the tomb to 'open the door' and set Phuc free. It was a happy time as the family prepared a meal for Phuc, burned incense and made a chicken walk around the tomb then set it free (it seemed like a good idea at the time, no real reason why).
I have a habit of writing too much in these emails, I know, but I hope you realise from this just how important family is in Vietnam. Probably something to do with confucianism. It makes sense for it to be this way. Everyone wants you to be part of their family, including people you don't know. Everywhere I go I feel welcome and looked after. Yesterday my bike chain came off 4 times in one street and each time a Vietnamese came over to help. In the end a lady held my hand and pulled me home on my bike!
All I want to tell you about now is my Hoi An family.
Be: 60 yrs old, the father of 6 children. An absolutely gorgeous man with a great smile, who studies his little English book so that he can say things like 'let's have lunch'. He's so proud of having foreigners in his house. He's also really proud of his poetry, which has been published. He was forced by the Americans to fight/be a doctor (he was a vet) for them during the war.
Thoi: the mother. She doesn't speak any English. She watches us carefully when we eat to see which dish we eat a lot of and will cook this dish again. Understandably she still wails at the death of her son. The children: we do not have much to do with the eldest, Toan, who is busy at his furniture shop. Tan is our mother; we chat with her and do things together, though she is very busy with work. Then there was Phuc. Then Hanh, who is the mother of 2 beautiful children, Ngang and Nga, whom I play with all the time. Then Phuoc, who's 28. I love Phuoc! He is like my brother. He takes us out all the time because conveniently his work doesn't have anything for him to do at the moment. His friends are our friends. Then Thin, a funny character who teaches us Vietnamese phrases whose meanings we don't know. Lastly, Phuong, who's 14. She's rather shy, but lovely. The three youngest live at home and the others live in houses very close-by and spend half their time at their parents' house anyway.
In 2 weeks I will be leaving them L
Hope you enjoy my rantings; it all comes from my heart.
love Emma"
"Hey dad and gang,
I was bad and too lazy/thoughtless to ever get around to emailing all you vietnam crew and checking out how your stuff was going, so we all kinda lost touch over those last few months and now Dad's brought us all together again. So yeah, hey guys, hope you had as much of a blast in Nam as we did in India. The MOST amazing time of my life, so so so very much fun and so so so very enlightening. Definately made me a wiser and more wordly man, not that i wasn't already, just more so. The kids were so cute, i love those little guys/girls. Teaching was so rewarding as well to watch them develop and learn to write and count and add and sound out letters and words and just generally watch them eat up everything that came out of my mouth (not literally) with so much enthusiasm and joy. Really heart warming. Then there was just being in India, as if thats not mind blowing enough in itself. That place is crazy, and dirty, and crowded and smelly and chaotic and beautiful, and spiritual, and peaceful and serene all in one big in your face package. I love it. The sights, sounds, tastes, people and experiences are going to be with me for a long long time to come, well forever, I'll never forget it. We traveled up huge mountains to see the worlds largest peaks, we traveled in cramped and smelly and vomit covered taxis (our own fault, whisky + 11 hour taxi rides=vomit) to go see the home of the Dalai Lama, we swam in pristine Himalayan mountain rivers, walked through dirty and chaotic crowded streets, danced all night at Indian birthdays, saw silly bollywood films, ate many tasty tasty vego meals and put ourselves in some very painful positions in the name of Yoga! Not to mention chanting Ohm a lot. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmm.
Yeah, we enjoyed ourselves.
Now here i am in Prague, all a lone. I think Andrew and Will are somewhere in this city but i don't know. (Guys f'n email me already!). We just spent over a week at the Oktoberfest drinking huge mugs of cold fresh beer everyday. My body doesn't know what the fucks going on. Munich was like a dream world of hot showers and warm soft beds and beautiful girls and toilets that you don't have to squat over or wash your ass with your hands and wide clean streets and shiny cars and roller coasters and fairy floss. Kinda the exact opposite of everything in India. Not to say India wasn't a dream world, just a very very different dream.
Anyway, hope you all had as much fun on your trip and are having fun with your travels afterwards. Traveling rox my sox.
Take care all and keep in touch now y'all.
Love Jo."
