Terrible Turkmenistan Trains
Trip Start
Aug 01, 2005
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23
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Trip End
Nov 22, 2005
Train to Turkmenbashi, Turkmenistan
Saturday, August 27, 2005
Terrible Turkmenistan Trains
It takes one hour and costs $1USD to fly there. By car, allowing for the continual passport checks it takes six hours. For some unknown reason we are taking the overnight train from Ashgabad to Turkmenbashi, a train described by locals as disgusting and littered with cockroaches. A train that crawls along and takes thirteen hours to cover the journey. Oh dear.
But first there was a little more exploring of Ashgabad to be done, in particular the Tokulcha Bazaar. Tokulcha in Russian means "pushing" and it is a very apt name. The market was packed full of locals all doing their wheeling and dealing and determined to overcome any obstacles in their way
Luxury
. People push, bump, jostle and even occasionally deliver a nice hip and shoulder as they charge around the market. The old women are the most dangerous as they use their experience to get you out of their way. In some parts of the market the activity was too frenetic and we steered well clear.Apart from the Tokulcha going on, it was the usual fascinating people watching that occurs in all Central Asian bazaars. There were a couple of aisles that were a sea of red as hundreds of Turkmen carpets were on display. They are very cheap but unfortunately the government puts a ridiculous USD tax on all carpets leaving the country, making them very expensive. It was a pity as there were some very nice ones, not that we have the space in either in our luggage or in our house for a carpet.
As per some of the previous markets, most of the activity centred on the jewellery section. There was a constant hum of noise emanating from the section and when you entered it was like entering a chicken coop with hundreds of chooks all squawking. It was very loud. There were rows of golden toothed ladies all sitting cross legged in front of their wares, which consisted of between twenty and forty pieces of jewellery. Other women would approach, pick up some jewellery and then the negotiations would begin. It was very interesting to watch but hard to stay there for a period of time due to the noise and the pushing and shoving.
From the market we headed out to the mountains to visit the ancient ruins of Nisa. These weren't too exciting but it did take us past yet another of Turkmenbashi's fantastic ideas. He has carved into the side of the huge mountains that border Iran what he has termed the "Walk of Health". Huge steps have been carved into the mountain that stretches for twenty five kilometres. Up and down the mountain. Each year he makes all his ministers complete the Walk of Health in the heat wearing suits and flies to the finish line in his helicopter to greet them. The walk takes an arduous seven to eight hours. Apart from the stupidity in this (it reminds me of the Simpson's episode where Mr Burns makes his team climb a mountain in the snow) it is a bit of an eyesore. Still it could have been worse- he could have dotted the mountains with pictures of himself.
Speaking of which, we passed the local university and at the entrance is;
1. A Gold Statue of Turkmenbashi
2. A statue of his books
3. A portrait of him
4. Phrases from his book on posters
5. Another portrait of him
That must be a personal best for the great man.
With great trepidation we boarded our train to the city of Turkmenbashi. As the train pulled into the station our worst fears were realised. It was terrible. Actually it was several levels below terrible. Obviously all funds in Turkmenistan get funnelled into building statues and the trains have not been upgraded since 1712.
The first problem was when the guards could not even open the doors to our cabin. It took ten minutes and several guards before the door would open. What lay within broke all rules of the Geneva Convention. In our four door "soft" sleeper berth were four wooden beds that were formerly doors. Obviously as hard as wood they measured about twenty centremetres wide and about five foot long. So our beds for the night were blocks of wood far to small to actually lie on. On each bed was a urine soaked, black, mouldy mattress that was full of bed bugs. There was also a pillow of the same colour that actually ripped in two when I picked it up. We threw them all aside and resolved ourselves to the fact we would be sleeping on wood. Oh well, its got to be better than a bed of nails.
During the day it was close to forty, so the train was nice and hot. Unfortunately we couldn't open any windows so we were trapped inside a sauna. The light was on in our cabin but there was no switch, only a jumble of wires sticking out. Hmm, which one to cut- the red wire, the blue wire or the green wire? So the light stayed on all night.
There were many complaints from the group, but what made matters worse was that is was cheaper to fly and quicker to take the bus, but for some unknown reason we had chosen the more expensive and far slower train. We were on the milk run, stopping every twenty minutes. Even arriving at a station was an event as the driver would speed up and then slam on the brakes so that everyone was thrown forward. It certainly added some excitement to sleeping in the top bunk, where survival was the key.
After several hours, I finally managed to fall asleep. Approximately ten minutes later a guard sensed his opportunity, barged in and woke me up demanding to see my passport. I got up, rifled through my bags and as I got it; he said don't worry and walked off. Bastard.
It certainly was long and unpleasant journey. You may think I have exaggerated this entry to make it more of a story but I have twelve other very grumpy witnesses that can attest to this. Terrible Turkmenistan Trains.
