A Traumatic Poem

Trip Start Jan 23, 2014
Trip End May 03, 2014

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Flag of Tanzania  , Iringa,
Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Read out loud for maximum effect! Also, please excuse any rhymes that may seem off, I wrote this at 11pm after the tramautic event itself.... We were staying in Mwagusi Safari Camp in Ruaha National Park one night, until...


Let me tell you, my friend, the terrifying tale
When I was taking a shower, peaceful until...

I picked up my soap, and right by the floor,
Spied something SO dreadful, it shook me to the core.

It's body was huge, and flat as a quarter
with two pinchers, a head, and six legs that were normal.

But two legs were spindly, each long as a pencil
potruded from its sides, nasty and awful.

"What is it?" I cried, nude as a baby
I grabbed for my towel, "Someone, please save me!"

My roommate was absent, and with no hope to come
I called to my neighbors - for moral backup

"Squish it!" They told me, yet hard as I tried
My efforts proved fruitless, and I nearly cried

Then in walked my roommate! Seemingly brave...
But faced with the THING, her moral soon caved

"Kill it!" She shouted, "Here! Take my shoe!"
"I can't! I'm still naked and terrified too!"

The pair stood together, shoes and flashlight in hand
Freaked out by the THING, trying to plan...

Fight or flight were the options, but flight wouldn't do
How to fight it though, we had no clue

"More shoes!" She exclaimed, "and a book for good measure!"
"You hit it, I'll squish it, we'll kill it together!"

I crawled on a ledge and kneeled on my towel
armed with a shoe, and ready to pummel

I hit it, it jumped - I hit it again
and sure enough, on to the floor it went

"Get it!" I shrieked, and she threw the book
stamped on it a few times, but neither could look.

I climbed off the ledge, my breaths more like gasps
Shaken, exhausted, I started to laugh

Africa is not for the pansies,
not for the Squeamish or fainthearted wimps.

Hyenas are scary, millipedes gross
But giant whip spiders are really the worst.
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Mom on

Hahahaha. I can see this made into a short film...carefully shot/edited for modesty's sake, of course. Send it to Tucker and Tyler and have them work out a screenplay.
Lauren: "You hit it!" Sarah: "I'll squish it!" Both, looking intently at each other, said in unison: "We'll kill it together!"
And of course, comic relief at the end.

Danielle on

Lauren, you are brave because I would have been hyperventilating and probably passed out. hope everything else is going well! miss you :)

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