Beijing Hotels
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Day 2 in Big Brother China
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We sat in the airport lounge in Sydney awaiting our flight into the unknown. We were greeted with a sea of faces that looked distinctly Chinese - not many white faces. This theme is ongoing and will not be mentioned again but suffice to say we felt in the massive minority, not threatened, just different.
The flight to China was one that I wished I had had my video camera fully charged, primed, locked and loaded, ready to capture the extent of what was to come. We sat down in our seats and after a minute of the usual shuffling around realized that our back of chair LCD movie screen wasn't working, in fact it very much looked like it was a piece of cloth written in Chinese...the movies that we had the choice of were all the same....piece of cloth written in Chinese or piece of cloth written in Chinese - the resurrection.. this was actually the better of the two movies...seldom the case with sequels. 10 hours with no movies and a baby one row behind that had taken a particular dislike to Mike - screaming is not the word. I would have rather spent an hour with the Whaling Banshee than two minutes with Damon the devils child..
The flight was to get no better. A child too full on the noodles his father had made, with hot water from the stewardess, decided to make his own Monet on the carpet. I love the smell of sick in the morning - really makes one feel alive. Not two minutes later than I had managed to quell the gag reflex a visit to the bathroom was required, too many Tsang Tiao's, when I came across a soiled nappy - this was too much for even the hardiest of travelers and what ensued should not be repeated..
After the episode with the nappy a snooze was in order and half a valium later, sleep drifted across me like the sea fog drifting across the harbour of Dover...wafting and floating its way across your consciousness - a welcome distraction to the spewing devil spawn child and one distraction that I embraced....I was woken suddenly by a face that I knew very well - Kristen...Olly, can you smell that, it smells like burning wires..... For a second I agreed, there was a whiff of burn in the air - considering the airline and its choice of movies, a worry that was not unentirely unsubstantiated. However, the discerning nose of an EX smoker could tell the scent of cigarette smoke a mile off - not once but three times in the flight were the toilets used behind our seats as refuge for the nicotine slaves...how lovely that they should share their nicotine with the rest of the plane. I was sucking at the air vents...
Nearly there was the cry - Mike, how long to go....30 minutes until we land in main land China....Throughout the flight we had been educated by the stewardess in her best Chinglish...and now was no exception -
Very please lady and gentlesmen, thanking you for flying with China airlines, we hopes you enjoying your flying with us to Beijing - you must be very tired after this long flight, please can you look at the screens and join with us to exercise
I shit you not! The screens came down and the stewardesses came in to the aisles to lead the proceedings. What was to follow came straight from a carry on movie. The WHOLE plane then started following the instructions on the screen. Lean left, lean right, lean forward, lean back - easy enough but then they up ed the ante - it ended up with the whole economy section doing the Macerena - a sight to behold, 200 Chinese people clapping and waving on a 747 bound for Beijing...too funny!! Of course we joined in!!!
We landed - YEAH - WE ARE ALIVE!!!
We were collected at the airport by two smiling young Chinese ladies - lovely they were too - and seemed very happy to see us - maybe because it was 11 at night and they had to work the next day... we jumped in to our little minibus to take us to our accommodation. The drive took about half an hour but it was great to see the city for the first time. My first impression was of an East German industrial city - or maybe a ghetto in Marseille - not Chinese in the slightest. However the scale of the place was incredible. A thought struck me - 18 million people. That's 2.5 times the size of London or the population of Australia - quite immense.. By day it was to prove even more whopping..
If you drive for half an hour in any direction you will still be able to see concrete and city as far as the eye can see - a pretty big claim but its true...as far as you can see in any direction is city...then you drive 30 mins in one direction and still no end in sight. You cross intersections and tower blocks lope off in to the background. The cityscape designers of Star Wars must have visited Beijing because if we are to end up living in one massive conurbation called Earth then Beijing is the seed, an enormous city of residential tower blocks - without witnessing the vast scale of city it is almost difficult to imagine. The roads that in London and Sydney would have two lanes - here have nine...the lanes of London that you couldn't swing a cat in - here have seven lanes - on each side of the road...
We woke the next morning a touch peckish and thought a venture up tut street would be a good idea. We happened across a Chinese Italian...not sure how that works but tired, hungry and close to home we decided we'd plump for some semi safe scran...I had Pizza, Mike a egg based thing but Kristen decided to be ultra safe and go with the fruit salad..Mine was crap, Mikes average - Kristens had all the usual fruits plus some lovely cherry tomatoes - technically a fruit but still a touch strange, banana and tomato....ummm, but the weirdest part was the dressing. It looked like a lovely dash of yoghurt but on further inspection of the tastebuds it was determined that Kristens fruit salad with tomatoes was covered in Mayonaise....orange, banana, tomato and mayo...yummy - Kristen looked sad....
After our hearty breakfast we were ready to face the world - so off we set to have a mooch about town. Lovely it was too. We saw the forbidden city - a whole new chapter will be devoted to that and Tianamen Square - again - massive. At a guess 50 x the size of Martins place...huge huge huge...They have a flag lowering and raising ceremony there every day and I was keen to make it. So we rushed across town to see this daily event. It was great....a lot of pomp and ceremony that is ultimately pointless but being British - I loved it!!! There was a guy there that put a poster and shouted something might have started with the sentence Free T..... but then got quickly nailed by 50 guards - yep he got beaten and dragged pretty quickly away...
I have to tell you all about the taxis and driving over here...wow....Doha drivers are like my mum when compared with these nutters - lights don't mean anything, humans don't mean anything and the lowest the cyclist is in a whole world of shit...if a cabbie doesn't beep his horn once every 30 seconds he is not doing his job...
Another lovely thing that we have noticed is the spitting and nose blowing that occurs - its delightful. You find yourself turning and congratulating the person in question with phrases like go on son get it out or flipping heck he's giving birth - its really gross but when in Rome...I have managed to hock a lugie 5 metres - Qualification for our street finals is six - I am working hard to perfect my technique...
That is all for now - will fill you in on weekly on what is happening and the daily instances whereby I am gob smacked at this country - truly different to anything I have experienced before...
Yours Ol x
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