Thrillogy: The ultimate bungy experience
Trip Start
Mar 25, 2008
1
8
12
Trip End
Jun 13, 2008
Queenstown,
New Zealand
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
I started with the Kawarau Bridge bungy, the first commercial bungy jump in the world so I thought 'lets start at the very beginning' to plagiarize a famous nun (if you don't know who I mean then you are just retarded). Well now I arrived at the centre to be checked in and with 5 minutes was herded onto a questionable bus and driven 20 minutes away and as we crossed a very unsafe, well to my standards, bridge/road we were told to look left and as we did I saw this lonely figure fall 43meters, it was at this time I knew that I wanted to do this 100% and I couldn't wait. However as I looked around the bus not all of my companions seemed to share my enthusiasm. Now down in the bungy centre I was checked in and asked to stand on the scales, to my shock and horror I've actually put on 4kg, now I might be inclined to blame this on the fergburger but I fail to see how something that tastes so good could be so bad ;)
Outside I walked out onto the Kawarau Bridge and was told to jump into my harness, I did so excitedly but later was regretting this as these harness aren't exactly the most forgiving to a gentlemen's vegetables, its sort of like a hot bath, you should lower yourself in nice and slowly, but I thought to myself if it hurts putting it on whats going to happen as I plunged 43meters....I stood silent in prayer. As I stood there in prayer a voice called to me and a man was trying to get me to crouch under this bar and sit down, I did so quietly realizing my time had come. He took what looked like a bathroom towel and wrapped it round my legs and then took a piece of cloth and wrapped it round the towel, I was thinking I hope that isn't meant to hold me to the bungy because otherwise the lifeguards is going to have to fish a body out the water!!!! Thankfully another cable was added and then this huge bungy attached, which I later found out interestingly is made out of latex, see its not just johnnys that it is used for.
I was then helped up and told to walk to the edge. Now if you ever do a bungy or if you have before you'll know walking with you legs tied gives you new appreciation for how hard a penguins life is. However I made it to the edge and the guy said that I might get dropped into the water, I looked at him in disbelief, I was wearing a thin t-shirt, the water was just above 1 degree and my nipples could already cut glass!!! Then he said wave to the crowd, smile for the picture and then just like that I heard 5-4-3-2-1.
Now I'm not really one for hanging around, so as soon as I heard one I did a jump that looks like a cross between Jesus being crucified and a dive into a swimming pool, but I didn't care all I could feel was the air against my face and saw the water get closer and closer, but then it got further away, I couldn't believe it I didn't manage to hit the water I was so upset, but as I hung there upside I didn't care, all I could hear was my heartbeat in my head, the rush was brilliant!!!
Then as if from know where this dingy appears below me and this guy is telling me to grab onto this pole, I do so awkwardly for I am dangling 43meters upside down, but he begins to pull me in and I land on this mini trampoline and the bungy is released. We are paddled to shore having just done my first ever bungy and its something I'll never forget.
Waking up the next day I was filled with a sense of excitement for my next bungy jump, the ledge, over Queenstown, wasn't going to be a normal jump like everyone else does. This was going to be down in the black of night so I would have no idea what I was jumping into, for all I know the bungy could break and I could just hurtle toward the rock face, but what a rush it would be!
I'd previously walked up the hill to the ledge earlier in the week, but this time I got to take the cable car, yet as I was going up in this cable car I got really paranoid that it would stop and the cable would break or something stupid, for some reasons being in a cable car freaks me out, but thankfully I reached the top unharmed. Now I had about an hour to kill so I decide to go luging; now this consists of an 800meter track and me sitting in a 3 wheel type go-kart and it was legendary. It was as cheap as chips and brilliant fun, you just race down gaining speed and then brake as you come to a hairpin turn, then a banked corner where you almost tip over, I was having such a good time till you reach the older parent whom just like in really life drive in the middle of the road, or track in this case slowing everyone down, and as I went passed them on the straight I resisted to urge to do what I usually do which is stick a finger up and yell profanities at them as I pass.
At 6pm I went to the entrance of the ledge bungy and was unhappy when it was still relatively light with only half an hour till my jump, a tear came to my eye, but as I stood there watching the lights of Queenstown turn on it became deceptively dark deceptively quickly, infact in just 15 minutes the only lights came from the town below, and a little later it was time.
I checked in and made my way to the ledge, and as I gear up in the harness with caution I discover that this bungy because the cord is attached round your chest you can run and jump, even do flips off into the darkness, this was going to be good. I got all suited up and then realized that the guy who was going to be throwing me off of the ledge had actually done the count down yesterday at the bridge, so we had a little chat before once again he went 5-4-3-2-1 and at that I ran fell steam and launched myself into the abyss. 47meters later and I felt the pull against my chest as I once again bounced like a giant yo-yo and was hoisted back up and could once again hear my heart beat in my ears, it was brilliant.
21st April 2008, the big one, the Nevis Highwire Bungy. This is the 3rd highest bungy in the world and over 3 times higher than the previous 2. It was safe to say I might need a change of underwear!! Now saying that I didn't actually take an extra pair with me, thankfully I didn't need them otherwise things could've got messy. I checked in again and was weighed and I'd put on another kilogram and thought how the hell had I done that??
I hadn't had another fergburger and had been living on a backpacker's diet of instant noodles and cereal. Once one the bus our driver who was heavily tattooed and pierced lighten the mood by walking on and going 'how fucking scared are you lot', which made us laugh. We drove for about 35 minutes listening to his c.d and every lightened up especially when everyone went 'oohhh' when soulja boy was played.
Now we eventually turned off the road and onto a dirt track, now this track wound up and down a hill and it the kind you see in movies where the back end goes off the road and it falls to the bottom to bust into flames with everyone inside lost. It was going just like the movie, especially with the driver having to stop a couple times to rev the engine to make the bus move. We eventually got to the top and had a pile of harnesses waiting for us to suit up into, this time taking even more care, I mean having done 2 bungy jumps before this one I was thinking there is a pretty good chance of me becoming infertile with all the strain on my tree trunk and berries (changed the saying a bit so it applies to me). Once in we went out to the viewing deck and saw this giant pod over this canyon and I thought yeah that looks pretty safe I'll be fine, that was until the wind picked up and I actually saw it move, I swear it moved like 5 meters and thats when the nerves kicked in, I already could hear my heart in my ears and the adrenaline was pumping.
The bungy guy appeared and told us the heaviest where to go first, and I was sort of anxious because of my growing weight but thankfully there were some fatter bastards jumping so I was ok. These were the type of guys I hate, the ones jumping around going I'm gonna fuck you over you fucking bungy!! It a bungy you stupid inbred retard it can't hear you!!!! Now I was thinking that this pod would come to the viewing deck to pick us all up but as the fatties walked away they go into this metal cage next to us, no more than 2m x 4m and started to move out over the canyon. This thing looked like it had been made by a group of year 5s with pipe cleaners and tin foil, something you take back to your mum and go isn't it great and she pulls that fake smile and goes its lovely and puts it someplace in the house so everyone can see it, yet she is really thinking 'I'll 'accidentally' break it when I'm dusting and then just buy him a computer game.'
As this thought had gone through my head the others had made it to the pod and we all stood there waiting, soon enough we saw this solitary figure move out and then seconds later launched himself to what he must have been thinking to be a certain death, and as he did I count the freefall, 8 seconds he fell before the bungy cord did anything, 8 seconds he must have been thinking that nothing will stop him hitting the riverbed and disfiguring him more than 5 generations of family inbreeding already has. However, the bungy worked and he bounced away from death and then was pulled up to safety.
After the next 2 guys had gone it was time for the next lot of us to face the 'home-made' cable car and I was in the group this time. So we attached our safety cables and the cart slowly moved out over the canyon. The wind being so kind and gracious picked up and the floor of the cart I happened to point out to the other nervous jumpers was see through, so I said he look at that you can see the water which several of them did and I swear one of them started to have a mini panic attack, oh well, she was just a casualty of war.
Now we made it into the pod and to my surprise everyone wasn't huddled around in silence fearing the worst, infact pendulum - granite was blaring out of the speakers and everyone was jumping around cheering the next person on, we even suggested turning this place into a nightclub to make some extra money. Now this pod was quite safe except the only worrying thing was down the middle was a strip of see through plastic which didn't inspire confidence in some of my fellow jumpers. At one point I was standing on the plastic looking down and this guy appear slowly putting his foot onto it and I notice his hand actually holding on to my t-shirt to which I say 'dude what the hell' and his face looked petrified!!!
Now one by one the numbers whittled down till someone called out 'Oliver', this was it, the greatest battle of my time was about to take place. I was asked to sit down in what can only be called a cross between a dentists and a gynecologist's chair, and it was rather comfortable. It was here whilst being strapped in that I was told after my third bounce after jumping I would need to pull out a black strap attached to my left foot pad, now I was slightly worried partly because one guy hadn't managed to do it and been hoisted up with all the blood rushing to his face, and secondly because they wanted me after freefalling for 8 seconds and staring death in the face to remember to do that. Nevertheless I shuffled penguin style to the edge, gave a quick smile to the camera and then leapt for my life. The air rushed past, the ground got closer and it was the best experience I have ever had, the adrenaline pumping through my body I have never felt more alive, it was just fantastic.
After my third bounce I reached up and after 2 sharp tugs I was in the sitting position waiting to be hoisted up, the view although it was just of mountains was a beautiful sight for the fact that I survived Thrillogy, The Kawarau Bridge, the Ledge and the Nevis Highwire Bungy.
Its sufficient to say I went out and got shitfaced in the bar afterwards where Brian, Matt, Jay and I, in a semi-drunken state, played a bit of one handed pool...probably the greatest game ever invented.
