Flippety Flop, the Fun don’t stop

Trip Start Nov 17, 2012
Trip End Ongoing

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What I did
Haviana Thong Challenge

Flag of Australia  , New South Wales,
Sunday, February 10, 2013

Breaking the world record for having the most people on inflatable flipflops in the sea at one time...Jeez you really can have a record for anything these days. I'm gonna make one, one day ' the record for having the most people riding an ostrich across Sydney Harbour Bridge’. You can actually ride an Ostrich in Vietnam...one of my biggest regrets not giving that a go. Although I’m sure the chance of me actually getting on one of those things is about the same chance of me kissing a fish. I remember the first time I decided I wanted to ride a camel. I was adamant that I wanted to do it and even though Tom (my boyfriend at the time) said he’d done it before and I wouldn’t like it. So I trekked him miles across the desert and as we got closer (and the smell got stronger), I got more scared. When it came to actually getting on the thing, I was sure that the one behind me was going to bite my head whilst I was trying to get on. Defeated we stood back and watched as the camels, (tourists intact) rose first their back legs (throwing the tourists over their heads) followed by the front legs. I told myself that I had made the right choice as it looked so terribly uncomfortable. But, A good six years later, I not only got on a camel, But laid amongst them with the desert men whilst watching the stars, but that’s another story.

So the Haviana ‘thong’ challenge. I’m sorry, I tried, I can’t use that word. They are flip flops. This is one of the times where I will argue till my death bed, the English have got it right. I asked Matteo what they call them in Italy, he said giapponesi, which apparently means between the toes, which kind of sides with Thongs doesnt it?  Dam!  I know it’s the same jist, one is between your toes and one is between your arse cheeks. But the onomatopoeic words that we use to describe this shoeographic makes more sense than sliced bread. Then there’s New Zealenders, who call them Jandals. Lord knows where that came from (well actually I do know, It comes from Japanese sandal, but my original guess was that its a biblical term (Jesus sandals). So now that weve finished with the linguistics...which is actually quite important as after this particular day we’d said flip flop so many times that the world lost all meaning.

So we all took to the waters on our flip flops, Rach and the others racing ahead of me. My water fear kicked in as I got closer out to sea, the waves were crashing against my face. Just as  thought I would’t get there, a surfing lifeguard told me to grab onto his board and he taxi’d me to my friends to join the rope for the big count.

Bondi Beached finished with a total of 2070 people in the water at one time riding their giant inflatable Havaianas and the winners at Cottesloe beach (wherever that is) at 2093. But don’t be sad, coz that challenge bought me my flip flop, and I have a feeling my life will never be the same again.

After the count up we start to explore the possibilities of the flip flops. I’m still a little nervous and every time I fall of my legs are squeaking against the plastic as I desperately heave my body up and over, arse in the air, trying to stabilise myself and my new rubber friend. At one point, I think iv got it, I get a little bit cocky and oh, wait, yes, I’m riding a wave! And oh my god how much fun it is! I wedge my boobs in-between my thong straps and I’m swimming fast up to the wave to turn around so it sweeps beneath me, but oh wait, I don’t have time to turn around before...Oh! The wave smashes me in the face, turns me and my flip flop upside down and I go under, salt water in my ears and nose I’m coughing and spluttering. My hands are blindly searching for my flipflop and I’m trying to regain my breathe and just as I grab hold of my flip flop and get ready to launch myself onto it, another wave comes crashing down onto me. The process repeats but as I wipe the water out of my eyes , smearing mascara all over my face I see in the distance, Emilia laying comfortably on her flip flop laughing so hard you’d think she’d float up into the sky. I don’t know whether to continue with my panicking or laugh with her, but I have no time to think as another ways comes crashing down on me sending my flip flop soaring in front of me and leaving me a shipwrecked mess. Gasping and spluttering, legs all aflu, I make my way to the shore, with Emilia still in the same spot, bobbing along, pissing her pants, watching me drown.

I can’t explain why I am scared of open water. I have no idea where it came from. I’m scared that I don’t know what is beneath me and there’s something else, but I don’t know how to describe it, my breath falls short and my heart races, I feel as though I can’t breathe, so then I can’t swim....But with the flip flop this all goes out of my mind. Iv got the nack of it now, boobs wedged into the strap of my flip flop, a surf a wave and another and another, bloody hell I’m Mark Richards!

The fear sucked out of me completely Rach, Emilia and I have floated so far out, there is nothing around us. I have even managed to flip myself over to embrace the prime tanning position... loving life. And then the life guards come! ‘Girls you are in a very dangerous location, you must get back to the shore immediately’. As we start to make our way back we realise how far out we have come. Our arms are tired, as we keep on going. After what feels like swimming the channel, another life guard approaches, ‘girls this is where the shark nets are so you must only swim up to this line and your behind it’. That’s it! He’s said the S word. My panicky breathing kicks and I use all my strength to oar my flip flop back to the surface.

After a bit more fun in the sand and a bit of ‘flip flop wrestling’- wearing the flip flop as a kind of mankini---a thong I suppose(dam it!). We cannot resist mounting the flip flops and taking to the water once again.

The waves have picked up, Iv never had so much fun in my life. The waves are vaulting me and my flip flop across the sea and as I do like a hand break turn onto the shore it chucks me onto the sand. And it’s hilarious. I can do nothing but laugh. But the next time I do it, I’m soaring above the waves, like the best log flume ride you’ve ever been on in your life and as I get closer and closer to this guy, iv realised iv picked up such speed, there’s nothing I can do. He looks at me, I look at him and my flip flop soars in-between his legs. I laugh louder than I have ever laughed before as i turn my hands back to grab this random guys ankles to unwedge myself from his ankles. And as I reverse out, hands still holding on to this poor mans ankles all I can do is laugh and laugh and laugh.

Moments later, Rach tops my. With the same speed she’s coming towards an old korean guy enjoying a stroll in the water. She’s laughing already coz she knows what is about to happen, and I’m laughing which is making her laugh more, with one clean sweep she takes out the korean guy, whos legs are waving in the air as rachs flip flop tips her out onto the sand and we both roll about laughing.

The day must be one of the top five days in my life, I didn’t have a BBQ to mark Stralia day, but I sure did have a flipping good time!
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