Roma or Iowa?
Trip Start
Jun 15, 2006
1
5
11
Trip End
Jul 09, 2006
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Vatican City,
Vatican City
Saturday, June 24, 2006
Yes, it is a small, small world. And Iowans, of all people, are invading it. Where better to start than the Vatican?
On our tour of the Vatican, it was a pleasant surprise to find out that our guide was in fact from Iowa. After graduating he did his backpack trip through Europe and fell in love with Rome. Now he's a tour guide. But things got creepy when we overheard a group of four next to us discussing the merits of Vitos vs. Brothers. Four more Iowans on the same tour. Then, we became an army when two more Iowans showed up for our tour. The rest of the tour (there were a couple non-Iowans) began to think it was a conspiracy. We insured them that there was no conspiracy, it's just that since there's not much to do in the fields of corn, we drive our tractors to the airports and fly away.
And so off to the Vatican this group of ex-pat (mostly temporary) Hawkeyes marched. Whereupon we found a gigantic line and extremely intense heat. And so we waited. And waited. And waited for well over three hours. I began to wonder if Catholics are the supposed chosen religion, why can't us chosen one's just skip to the front of the line, you know, kind of like practice for when we get to skip to the front of the line at the pearly gates? But even after seven years of Catholic education, I was forced to wait with the masses to pay our Euros to the Pope and finally gain entrance to one of the world's greatest collections of art.
There are essentially two things people go to see at the Vatican.
Dead Pope
The Sistine Chapel and St. Peter's Basillica. What people miss when they aren't on a guided tour are the important things, the behind-the-scenes information. For instance, due to one prudent Pope's phallic fear, all the male parts of all the priceless statues have been hacked off. Interestingly enough, there is a room (not open to the public) that contains all of these castrated appendices. Lately, the Vatican has come to their senses and realized the fig leaf wasn't such a great idea, and so now must preserve the hacked off genitals. Which of course means there is a person whose sole employment purpose is to match the dick to the lad and document what goes with whom.Nothing quite prepares you for the awe you experience when actually seeing the Sistine Chapel. Sure, you've seen images of it all your life, but once actually there you just stop in your tracks and stare up until you neck screams out in pain. The chapel forces you into the middle of perhaps the world's greatest piece of art. The ceilings and walls are covered with biblical frescos telling the story of human kind from creation to judgment day. And what's even more amazing is Michelangelo wasn't even a painter.
The tour concluded with St. Peter's Basillica, the centerpiece of the Catholic world. In it are housed Michelangelo statues, Bernini carvings and Raphael paintings, along with the supposed cross Jesus was crucified on, the towel that contains an imprint of Chirst's face, and the remains of St. Peter. Not to mention the bronzed dead body of a very old Pope. Many of these items are housed in secret areas and are not for the public viewing, however, we were able to take in the beauty of the statues, carvings and paintings.
On our way out we passed the incredibly ridiculously dressed Swiss Gaurds. Funny thing is, they wear some black and gold...
Klenske, Ink.
