Apr 17, 2006
Jun 14, 2006
Genesis chs 5-9
God became angered by the wickedness of man on earth, and sought to punish him. But a man called Bill Gates found favour with the Lord, and He said to him "You shall build a machine called the Personal Computer, and these machines shall flood the earth, and there shall be one within reach of every human being, for I regret that I have created them, and wish to punish them. You shall lull the people into thinking these machines are wonderful and can perform miracles, but you shall have them run on an operating system that you shall call Windows, which will cause the machine to malfunction disastrously at the most critical moments, such as after having spent hours perfecting the most masterful weblog entry or trying to put photos onto a CD (a process you shall ironically call 'burning'). This will provoke the highest levels of frustration in man, previously unseen on this earth. Women shall weep for mercy. Men shall smash things. When they are forced to abandon hope of recovery and reach for the 'reset' button, you shall be sure to enhance their wrath by displaying the message 'improper shutdown detected' as if it is their fault."
Since I had managed to fill up all six of the memory cards for my digital camera due to my trigger happy overuse of the fabulous little machine, Pablo kindly offered to burn the photos onto CD for me so as I could free up some space on the cards. This we did at his office after lunch on my last day in Montevideo. Now I know what computers are like and could not help but feel nervous as the computer performed this task, and Pablo warned me not to watch it as it could feel my anxiousness and, computers being inherently spiteful, would deliberately mess it up to annoy me. As such I hid in an adjacent room so as to be ablke to bite my nails in safety. Astonishingly, the first CD we did worked first time, but the computer decided that was all it was in the mood for today. With the second, it would tantalise us by reaching 99% in the status bar and would then decide that on second thoughts, it couldn't be bothered and would ruin the CD. It did this repeatedly. After a while, Pablo told me to go and do some more sightseeing while there was still daylight. I told him not to bother to keep fighting with the computer which was evidently determined to win in the end, but when I returned that evening, he reported that he had spent the whole afternoon attempting to get the thing to work, to no avail, leading to understandable acts of violence to be inflicted upon the ruined CDs, even though they were probably the innocent party in the whole debacle. Goodness knows how many CDs he got through. I would like to comfort Pablo with the following bible story: