Hills, Bo, and Bad Grammar

Trip Start Aug 26, 2009
Trip End Sep 12, 2009

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Where I stayed
Aunt Cath's house

Flag of United States  , Arkansas
Wednesday, August 26, 2009

After a late start and early quarrel, the duo was off down State Route 36, destination: Mountain Home, Arkansas. They waved good-bye to Sandy and Eddie, and set their scopes on the wild, wild, west. Worn out from the packing and yelling, Chelsea rested her eyes through the entire state of Indiana.  Struggling to stay awake, Nick heckled her after crossing into Illinois, and the couple did a Chinese fire drill in the middle of Interstate 70. Nick found the comfort of a magnificent zebra cloth turned to Snuggie, and he himself dozed through all of Illinois, waking briefly to what he thought was lightning, (although it was only Chelsea snapping a photo for future blackmail purposes.)

Making it just to the Illinois/Missouri border, Nick and Chels relied on their trusty road companion, Delores, to guide them to the local K-Mart to purchase a mechanism designed to produce jams from an i-Pod, to the speakers of the car

After switching drivers yet again, the two embarked upon their quest across the Mississippi River.  Thankfully, they did not have to fjord the river and run the risk of contracting typhus.  A bridge conveniently got them to the other side, where they were able to ooh and aah and the St. Louis arch.  The two felt as if their journey had just begun: crossing through the gateway to the west. 

Five hours later, with Nick behind the wheel, they came upon the rollercoaster of the Ozark hills.  Leaving civilization, they felt one with the Missouri wilderness and crazy mountain people.  It was there that they encountered Bo, Nick's alter ego who dwells in the foothills of the Missouri wilderness, (picture provided.)  After taking some pictures of Bo and getting the great advice of: "Moue do jane gun dun up ha he ho," they continued on their journey.

Delores guided the two up and down the Ozark “mountains,” past wild boars, and turkey vultures who feasted upon the flesh of the deceased. After thinking that this topsy turvy ride would never end, they finally pulled into Bogart Lane.

Upon their arrival to the home of Nick’s aunt Cath they were greeted by a miniature panther-esque creature who went by the name “Spunky.” After a long and winding trip through the backwoods they were grateful to be in a place they could relax a little. Aunt Cath arrived home shortly following Nick and Chelsea’s arrival and nourished them with a delicious meal and a glass of wine. After dinner they drove to Norfork Lake to check out the lay of the land.  It was here that Nick and Chels were introduced to the beautiful Arkansas lake water.  After the exciting mini hike, the three made their way back to Cath’s house, where there was a lot of chit chat about family, life, less-than intelligent southern hill people, Marley and Me, and reminiscing about the past.  

The sunrise on Thursday morning brought with it a renewed sense of adventure as Nick, Chelsea, and Cath decided what the day could bring. It was decided that a trip down Buffalo National River would be quite refreshing so they zipped off to Wild Buffalo Bill’s, located just past Wang’s Repair Shop, to rent some inter-tubes.  Wild Bill was quite accommodating, as he offered his family’s suburban as a means of transportation to the load in site, toting the tubes in the back.  Arriving at the location, the three plodded into the fresh, clear river water, which lacked the stale fish smell and trash-dump-look of their native Stillwater River

Nick hopped into his tube first, only to hear a constant “hissss…” noise.  Realizing that in fact he was not passing gas, he concluded that he had a miniscule hole in his tube.  Wild Bill was long gone, leaving a cloud of dust behind him, forcing Nick to take on the river with an impaired flotation device.  Thankfully this did not take away from the river experience, as he was able to clog the hole with the slime of an Eyemalia Spotted Salamander.

The three adored their time on the Buffalo National River, laughing about life, slipping on rocks, basking in the sun, drifting in and out of dream-like states while taking in the gorgeous surroundings.  All was serene, with the exception of the perturbing, earsplitting, unrelenting cracks of a jack hammer in the distance.  The fresh, cool water relieved the heat from the brilliant sun, although in the end the sun won the battle.  Every place that lacked sun screen glowed red before the end of the trip, including the back of Nick’s legs, and pretty much everywhere on Cath. 

After the spa-like treatment on the river, the three roamed about the Arkansas countryside, dwelling through the towns of Gassville, Cotter (trout capitol of the entire world), Flippin, Yellville, and Pappyville (population 10), [no, none of these names/information was made up.] They pit-stopped in the Bull Shoals Dam and Visitor Center before meeting with Aunt Sharon and getting dinner at Fred’s Fish House.  Fred cooked them up a good’un as they tasted his delicious cat fish, tilapia, and clams.  They all enjoyed the great visiting time, crappy service, great food, and crazy old man who moaned like a pregnant walrus.  After visiting the notorious “house-on-stilts,” Cath, Nick and Chelsea passed out while watching Gary Busey star in “the life story of Buddy Holly.”

After enjoying a great night’s sleep and another round of Cath’s delicious blueberry muffins, Nick and Chels turned to the west: off to the dusty, buffalo-filled, tumble weed blowin’, carriage-riding, hot-as-hell weather of Oklahoma City.              
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