Hollywood - Am I in Blackpool again????
Trip Start Jun 26, 2006
119Trip End Feb 28, 2007
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Well its me again, I thought about just writing 'Hollywood is shit' which just about sums it up but apparently you guys wanna know more?
Firstly tho is the small matter of a very pants game of footie. I'll keep it simple by just playing a little game of question time.
1. Is Beckham a girl? He can only play for 60 mins and then crys lots... Clearly captain material!!
2. Did Sven actually remember to tell Rooney not to hit people? We know its very important in the game they call 'Chav' but not in the lesser known game 'Soccer'
4. Penalties? Now soccer is our game, we started it so why not a little permanent rule change. Thats right you guessed it.... lets abolish it and replace it with a fairer means of deciding a real mans game... I'd say Tiddlywinks... which we just so happen are world champions at.
Enough said, lets move on....Hollywood ere we cum.. he he!!
This trip aint fun anymore, i have sunburnt feet so it kills when i walk, my back aches from sunburn too and now i have to carry my rucksack. Another tedious bus journey later i arrive back in LA, tho the industrial estate might just as well have been on the dark side of the moon cos i hadnt the foggiest how to get to Hollywood. I decided to just sit at a random bus stop to try and catch a random bus hopefully going in the right random direction. Amy wasnt so sure, she thinks i'm stupid but couldnt come up with anything better so as usual we carried on with my stupid idea, which as always worked out just fine!!!! So after a very long time standing on a very busy bus (which i dont recommend if you have a 36 tonne rucksack) we arrived in Hollywood. It is important to mention here that Sunset Boulevard is extremely long and more minging than Milton keynes
So we got there, very disappointing, no glitz, no glamour, not even any decent lap dancing joints filled with topless beauties!!!!! Though it had to be said i was pleased to be seeing the Hollywood walk of fame, i did wonder though where the honour was in having your name immortilised in the pavement where millions of people walk it into the ground till it disintigrates whilst exclaiming 'who the heck is that?'.
Well we finally arrived at the hostel we had prebooked. Only to find the stinky pooheads hadnt reserved a room for me. I was quite happy to sleep under the patio bench but they did manage to move people around to fix a room for me.
We headed straight out ...... look back for more excitement????????
Well here we go..... we headed out and started to walk around the walk of fame, avoiding the overcrowded bits cos being Saturday night it was very busy. Eventually stumbled upon the Chinese Theatre which looked really groovy but couldn't get anywhere near it cos of the street entertainers and the crowds. By this point we were hungry and having not seen any decent places to eat, and in decent i actually mean the places we were to scared to go in or the ones which didnt display prices. You see i'm supposed to be budgeting but those of you who know me will know if i have something i've gotta do i will do anything but.
Anyway we had been told by the american guy we spoke to on the plane to make sure we tried some tex-mex, in particular the burritos as these are in fact of american origin and nothing like them exists in mexico
Finally we headed back to the hostel where we chilled with cans of pop, no budget for beer as we'd overindulged previously.
Day......5, 6 or 7
We awoke to more american brekkie......bloody pancakes. Now i love pancakes and i love maple syrup more but trust me, if you have a plate filled with the stuff every morning you can't wait for something a little different.... like sausages but this is america so pancakes it is.
We'd decided that as hollywood was minging to head out and try and find the glitz... so first stop Sunset strip..... guess wot... minging too, though less like Blackpool and more like the M25, only with small shops and expensive boutiques lining the streets. We wandered for a bit but then i had a brainwave....so we set off for Beverley Hills and Rodeo Drive...
So by now it was time for my favourite game.... thats right, guess which bus to get, so after much deliberation i decided on the obvious choice.... the one nearest me!!!! So we sat there for an age and shortly along came the bus, we boarded and before to long found ourselves in beverly hills.
Now from our research we knew the glitz was on Rodeo Drive... so it just remained for us to find our way from the bus stop to there..... simple????
So we headed towards the civic building, random choice but it looked pristine and groovy so was a good a way as any. The building just demonstrated how much money the city had, it was enormous, however something wasn't quite right so we headed in the opposite direction, straight down a street lined with amazing houses, with driveways filled with classy motors like ferraris, mecedes and BMW's. But then began a wee obsession of mine.... we spotted a hummer, a gleaming white monster sitting right on someones drive.
Anyway we eventually decided we were lost so upon getting to a certain street we both picked a direction and had a little game of stone, paper, scissors....such a great decider, only my stone lost to amy's paper so we set off to head in her direction..
Anyway i was right and we finally found it, a huge wide street filled with designer labels we've all heard of and then the really pouncy ones that none of us have even heard of let alone thought of shopping in. Unfortuanately it was sunday so the jewellery shops were all closed so we couldnt check out the pricey gems usually on offer.
After a littls exploring we headed back on the bus, returning to the same shop to buy the biggest bottle of water we could buy.... 4 litres!!!! We then attempted to scale that big bad hill we had descended earlier. It was so big, must have been a 45 degree slope and it was still soooo hot. Once at the top we took a well earned rest where my obsession really took off. We discovered that sunset strip was the place to car spot..... got my hummer count up to nine, well impressed but unfortunately the bus came so we had to go.
Back in hollywood i had a little problem to contend with... amy wanted a beer. Problem being, apart from Hooters which was no go apparently there were no bars on Hollywood boulevard..
The english bar was anything but... more like a cocktail joint but with very little personality, apart from the guys sitting at the bar drinking JD and whisky shooters.
So having not eaten all day we headed back to the burrito bar for dinner, only amy wasnt content with more burritos so ordered some fajitas instead. Only thing was whislt i was collecting our food amy spied hummer no 10... apparently it was a groovy yellow one... how gutted was i!!!!!
So we headed back to the hostel to pick up our bags and set off over to the greyhound station. This was to be our first experience off the greyhound overnight, seeing as the station was closed we sat on our backpacks against the wall and started to nod off. A couple of hours later our bus arrived and we boarded only to find we couldnt sit together. Not so bad for amy who just had to fight for seat place with some old women content on sleeping across the seats, as for me i had to share with the seven foot tramp, his smelly feet and his grubby baggage. As for the bus driver he was obsessed with the fact that at 2am we'd all be able to have hamburger and fries, only problem was he insisted on slamming on his brakes, turning the lights on and reminding us every hour. He didnt even stop there, after 2am he preceded to continue doing the exact same thing only this timne he'd remind us we were going to san fransico.....as if we didnt know!!!!!!!!