Shitting out my soul

Trip Start Dec 28, 2004
Trip End Ongoing

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Flag of Thailand  , Phangnga,
Sunday, December 23, 2012

You know, i tried to write this blog post while on my last trip out at sea and i had typed up about 2 1/2 pages of witty comments and then suddenly it was deleted for no particular reason. i screamed and gnashed my teeth but at the end of the day it was gone like a fart in the wind into the ether that exists in computer circuitry.  all of those 0's and 1's were wiped out and along with them were my immortal and down right entertaining commentary on the world around me. this will be my second attempt at this post and if past experience is any barometer of future endeavors.......well this should come no where close to living up to the original but let us throw caution to the wind as if it was Christians to the lions and lets get this show on the road.

I find it much easier to get off my duff and write a blog when something new and interesting is happening to me. having settled down into an almost domesticated life, things are not exactly bustling around here. that's right friends and neighbors, i have been domesticated......does this make me even more like livestock?  the fact that i can compare myself to large farm animals both in the body size category AND quality of life category is a bit disturbing.  I must break free from the yoke that binds me. I must rise up and shout from the mountain top "I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!!!!" oh wait a minute.....that's from the elephant man. shit. not the best example.  Well there will be rising up and shouting but please get back to me later for exact times and specific catch phrases to watch out for.

I am pretty much right in the middle of the diving season here in khao lak and though I have not reached my breaking point, the needle is definitely out of the green and somewhere in the yellow. I feel that this season I have a very short fuse when it comes to stupidity and being crass.  i find myself sometimes arguing with the customers when they make an idiotic suggestion for the trip.  as an example........i had a customer who complained that the fact that there were generators running at night was not put on the web page and she asked if we could kindly turn them off at night.  well since the boat doesn't run on solar power and we have to cool food, fill diving tanks, run the air conditioning, provide electricity so you can charge your camera batteries and oh yes, keep all of the navigational equipment running the short answer is no we cannot turn off the generators and you have a five minute time out because apparently you are a complete fucking imbecile.  see what i mean? out of the green and into the yellow.

i have purchased quite the groovy piece of photo/diving gear recently.  I have had a Nikon DSLR for years and always dreamed about getting the under water housing for it but with a retail price of about $1800, it was wayyy out of my price range.  well while cruising eBay a few weeks ago, i came across one for sale for a reasonable price and presto chango i bought it. of course now i need strobes and a dome port and and and but I have entered into a new realm of photography and once i figure out what I'm doing it should turn out great. I have gotten great pictures from my little point and shoot camera over the years but this should move me to a whole other level eventually and i am looking forward to see the results.  i will keep you posted.

So I rent a cute little house in a little piece of Thai suburbia and the cool thing is that our rent is about 1/2 what other westerners pay because my Thai wife went and rented it without  me so the owners didn't know to rip us off lol.  the problem is that the owners never put any money into the damn house so there are little things that need to be fixed but which never are.  our walls have been absolutely filthy since we moved in and we have asked the owner to paint the place for almost 2 years to no avail.  finally i got fed up and paid the $70 in supplies and painted the damn thing myself.  it definitely needs another coat but its not my house and it looks 10x better then what it did in the past.  i even painted it a nice golden yellow which hides the dirt a bit better and is just much nicer then the plain white

I have also broken down and purchased some kitchen cabinets and counter top. nothing fancy but i was just tired of storing all of our dishes on a table top.  i have a room that is designated as a kitchen but the only thing that makes it stand out as such is a fridge.  nothing else was in the room when we moved in.  i now have a small gas range and two tables, one for eating and one to hold all our stuff.  I have grown tired of some aspects of living the "Thai style"  i sat on the floor for years because that's how the Thais watched TV and ate their meals but finally i broke down and bought a couch. I was tired of dirty walls so i painted and i was tired of having a kitchen with shit all over the place so i bought cabinets. i am slowly westernizing my house.  most every aspect of the way i live is pretty thaicentric but i am ready to instill some American comforts. AMERICA....FUCK YEAH!

I need to get out on the road again for a few weeks and travel. i am a bit worn down with my hectic schedule of constant work. yes i know it must seem like i live in paradise and my life is a bit never neverlandish but really, i am working, and working in the customer service industry which really just sucks the will to live right out your rectum while your not looking.  at one moment you are pretty happy go lucky and then the next you have a charter full of Chinese people and they want to know if they can catch all the lobsters for dinner which then causes you to shit out part of your physical vitality. there it goes, just like a big honkin turd down the drain, never to be seen again. 

  i feel i should go to India just to get a full dose of in your face culture shock.  India is not really even culture shock, its more of a culture tactical nuclear warhead.  if you have never been there and don't know what to expect i would say maybe you should reconsider and go to the Bahamas again.  India is really only for some truly hardcore fuckers and is not to be undertaken by the feint of heart, the pregnant or those trying to become pregnant.  if you feel panic attacks or dysentery, please see a physician and then a travel agent and get the hell out while you still can.  The good thing about India though is that after 3 weeks there, you are begging to come back to your normal life and the seemingly sterile cleanliness of Thailand.  after Calcutta, anything seems shockingly clean.

One of the weird things about being on the boat for 4 days is that you are completely removed from what is going on in the world and when you come back you can get bombarded with all this crazy news. As an example I came back the other day and was probably one of the last people in the world to hear about this school shooting.  You know, what can you say about this that has not already been said.  Crazy people and guns are not a good mix but at the end of the day, why are these sort of guns and bullets available in America? why do I need high volume clips that hold armor piercing bullets? exactly what kinda fucking deer are you hunting my friend? is the entire herd wearing Kevlar?  There is no point to this and the endless procession of the mass shootings is just depressing.  

The people who say that famous line "guns don't kill people, people kill people" are not only fooling themselves but are telling a dangerous lie.  sure there would be violence and murders without guns in our society but I'll place a fucking bet right now that these massacres would come to a stop. these guns make it physically and emotionally easy to kill people. if you have to shove a knife between someones ribs, well that's a whole different ball game.  I bet you that's a ball game that pencil neck shit in Connecticut would never want any part of.  who here believes that scrawny sack of shit would kill 30 people with a knife? so please don't feed me this shit about guns being just innocent tools because if you believe that then please go get sterilized and remove yourself from the gene pool.

I'll tell you who should bare a large portion of the blame for these heinous acts and that is the NRA (national rifle association for you non Americans out there).  These people are absolutely bat shit insane with this second amendment crap.  I don't understand how people can make their number 1 priority in life about guns but there is that asshole from the NRA blaming everyone and his brother other then the guns. amazing. watch this video for a great rebuttal

I have unfortunately reconciled myself to one more season in Alaska. yes i know i always say this is my last season but this year is a bit different. first of all, financially speaking...i don't have to go. i have enough money to make it through the low season relatively comfortably.  the thing that is pushing back into the frozen tundra is the hopes to buy 15 more motorbikes to shore up my blooming little business. with 20 bikes in total and possibly a car to do airport taxi runs, i will be looking at more then doubling my current income which would then put me into a whole different income stratosphere.  one more season of crap and then I should have a very feasible plan to make quite a bit of money.  

I am definitely getting too old for this shit though. I cant tell you how many times last season that i would be lying in my tent at night and saying to myself..."I'm 37 fucking years old and living in a tent. what in the hell am i doing?" I am definitely approaching the time where I cannot work the crazy hours and days that I have in the past. my body just wont hold up truth be told. so now i have to start making a bit of headway toward financial solvency. look at me, all grown up and shit.....if i can survive another arctic adventure that is and if you take the time to look back and read my posts from those long summer days you will realize what a horrible and mind numbingly dull experience this is. yay Alaska

I'm kinda at a loss for other things to write about. has this post been good for you? should we light metaphorical cigarettes and recline in a pseudo post coital position as we reflect on some of the high lights? was i good? fuck good, was it at least adequate? call me? 



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