I like hallucinating

Trip Start Dec 28, 2004
Trip End Ongoing

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Flag of United States  , Alaska
Wednesday, August 24, 2011

business has really dropped off the last 10 days or so, to the point where I am only working about 2/3 of the hours i normally would. usually I would be pretty pissy about losing the hours and the money but i am just so tired physically of cooking and mentally of just doing this day in and day out all summer, i am actually a bit happy that I am not getting all the hours I was expecting.  I have a bit of down time now which is nice even though i will be leaving here with about $1000 less then i had expected.  it all cant be perfect I guess so no complaints out of me

the nights are actually getting dark now which is odd.  you grow so accustomed to the never ending daylight that when it finally does start getting dark it sort of surprises you.  the fact that its almost completely dark here at 10pm is weird.....add to that the fact that the temperature is already dropping and the sunny weather has been replaced by rain and gusting winds and its a definite sign for me to get out of town lol.  i am going to fly jetblue for the first time so we'll see how this discount carrier does. i have not flown domestically in the united states in years and i remember the last time i did (Chicago to LA) it was a horrible experience. i have to admit that my hopes are not high for the discount air carrier.  the flight to Chicago is 12 hours which includes a 2 hour layover in long beach of all places. who knew that long beach even had a friggin airport. 12 hours just to get to Chicago...sigh. in case you cant tell, i am still experiencing quite the case of second thought blues lol.

here's a bit of a weird one for you. the hotel i used to work at (cooking in their restaurant) has this big old hot tub outside that overlooks the bay and mountains etc etc. if you are not a guest you can pay $10 and use the hot tub and sauna and showers which is a pretty good deal. anyway, i was sitting in the hot tub a while back and I was the only one in there for quite awhile but then two younger couples came and joined me.  of course we got to talking and one of the guys had attended the same high school that I did and that i actually sorta knew his brother (years ago). talk about another instance of small world eh?  its always mind blowing when you get these strange coincidences. 

have you ever eaten so much LSD that you just completely lost the tether to reality?  you know, the walls are not only breathing but sprouting little creatures, your friend has melted into the couch and all you can see is his eyes and cheesy smile and then the lights go out and the blacklights come on and oh my god someone just put some really fucked up cartoon on the big TV and you cant find your legs to leave the room because your legs obviously did not want anything to do with this trip of yours so you are stuck on the floor.....the carpeted floor where every little fiber pile is its own universe and the stray color fibers glow in the black light...except for that.....what is that? holy shit what is that? oh my gooooodddddd..........oh its just the pet ferret. we have ferrets? when did this happen? i need to go for a walk. i need to get out of the apartment and its craziness but i have no legs, the blacklights have swallowed my soul and my legs have abandoned me. how in the fuck did i get here? what is going on? who are these people? i need to make it to the safety of the bathroom. if i can just get into the bathroom and close the door it will be a universe in which i can control and all will be well. slowly pulling myself towards the bathroom door...my arms are tired with the effort but luckily my legs rejoin the party and i stumble fall into the tiled room of sanctity and close the door and then turn on the fluorescent lights....oh god big mistake. everything is moving and wavering and i can see every atom that makes up the surface of my hand....wow look at my hand and all of the ridges and bumps and cool swirlies that are all moving and pulsing and radiating energy as it changes and drifts and now ages.....ages into an old mans hand with gnarled joints and liver spots whoaaaaa that is some crazy shit (blink eyes) and all is back to normal....accept for the ridges and bumps and swirlies that are all moving and...........2 hours later i stumble out of the bathroom and towards the front door. got to be some interesting stuff out here sure as hell

 occasionally i reminisce about my heavy drug use days lol.  i never had a problem doing the drugs, it was always the selling that got me into trouble. if i had just stuck with the doing, i believe things would have been fine and dandy.  i sincerely am thankful for a lot of the experiences that I had with these hallucinogens.  yes the above paragraph is a pretty accurate representation of my thought process for a bit of a LSD trip but there is also quite a bit of deep introspection and thinking so far outside the box that said box is nowhere even on the god damned radar. that box might as well not exist, that's how far away my thinking was. those of you shaking your head and making the tssk tssk sound while reading this, please stop and think about the beer and wine and martini's you have gobbled down in your lifetime and then think about which causes more harm before you get all high and mighty in your thinking.  god bless Albert Hoffman and his very funky bicycle ride and if you don't know what I'm talking about........well google is great for these sort of things isn't it?
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