Fucked yet again

Trip Start Dec 28, 2004
Trip End Ongoing

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Flag of United States  , Alaska
Friday, August 19, 2011

well its been about a month since I last wrote a blog entry and i have been meaning to get around to it but to tell the truth, July just wiped me out and any free time I might have had was spent sleeping or talking for a few minutes to IM.  those of you who have gone into with-drawls from my silky smooth typing style will be assured to know that I am still alive and kicking despite the fact that I can barely feel my legs having spent so much time on my feet the last few months.

the tourist season is finally coming to an end here in Homer which is a good thing because I'm not too sure how much more of it i could stand.  I achieved maximum burn out about 3 or 4 weeks ago and am now just progressing as a shell of my former self which is still better then most of the zombie like fuckers out there.

Do you know what I miss most about Thailand? its not the food and its not the heat......OK i miss IM and my dog more then this but still.......I miss the little water spray gun that sits beside every toilet in Thailand.  there is no need for toilet paper when you have a high powered water gun at your disposal.  When i landed in Seattle and went to the restroom i was quickly reminded of the absolute disgusting necessity of using toilet paper to clean ones self.  I mean have we not progressed as a society enough to leave smearing our feces with pieces of paper in the past.  Thailand is behind the west in many things but let me tell you this my friends, if i ever build a house in America, every bathroom will be equipped with these water guns.......this i promise!!

The fireweed flower here in Alaska is finally blooming.  i love this flower for 2 reasons.  the first is that it is really beautiful with a great color that just lines the road in some spots.  the second reason i love this flower is because it starts to bloom around august which means that my time here in Alaska is just about done.  its like a little reminder from nature "hey Neal....pack your shit, time to go".  on that note, i have 8 days left here in homer and I most assuredly wish that the time was finished already because I am tired of the work, the people and the bullshit.  the plane leaves soon my friends.

To be completely truthful, at this point in the game i don't really have any desire to go to Chicago.  Of course I miss IM and want to see her as soon as possible which plays into the situation of course but what is hanging over the entire trip is my sister. yes my wonderful sister who is at it once again, stealing and pillaging her way through my life.  For those of you who aren't in the know, my sister came to Asia on vacaton and through a pretty elaborate set of lies, duped me out of about $2000.....going towards hotels and taxis and tiger temples....you know, things that you would pay for if you were on vacation but which you just have your broke ass brother pay for instead. This $2000 was the only money that I had to get IM and i through the period until work started again in October.  When i emailed her that i had no money for food because she was not sending the money that she not only promised but owed to me, her response was to "call dad and borrow money". Of course due to this situation we have no dealings with each other....me because seeing her would either enrage me or make me nausea's and her because well I'm assuming guilt maybe?

anyway,  the few times i have come back to Chicago my parents usually have a little BBQ so the more distant relatives can come by and say hi.  this year I very respectfully requested that sari (sister) not be present because to be quite honest, I cannot guarantee that I wont go bat shit insane when i see her.  my parents balked at this idea since "she is part of our family".  yes she is part of our family who made her brother into a pauper and has been indebted to friends and family alike ever since......great fucking family member.  long story short, BBQ canceled due to my inability to put up with her presence and my desire not to end up getting arrested on assault charges.

 just recently i sent my sister an email politely asking her to return a Nepalese painting that she borrowed when we were on more friendly terms.  and when i say polite I am not being a smart ass, I was polite and to the point.  of course she did not answer my email but through my father she has suggested that she will not return said painting....once again stealing from her lone sibling.  at this point I am just amazed both at her crass instincts to steal and lie and at her utter brazen attitude towards it all.  When i mention all of this to my father, he gets upset at ME saying he wont get involved and that he loves us both equally. great thought and sentiment but what a load of shit.  i wonder what obscene act she would have to perform to actually have him say "now wait a minute, that is just wrong and going over the line"?  

when the first offense occurred......you know the stealing of $2000 from me by my sister, my father asked  me not to write about it on my blog because many family members read it and this was a private matter.  at this point though it seems that the appearance of harmony is more important then truth and honesty which seems counter intuitive to every speech and life lesson my father tried to pass on to me from the age of 6 months to about august of last year when it seemed that appearances are more important. therefore i don't give a righteous fuck....this is what is going on in my life, this is my blog and i don't give much of a rats ass who reads it and what they think.  i have spent 3 years in prison for trafficking drugs and I'm supposed to care what people think about the drama between me and my sister?  I have somehow gotten over the notion that people will talk badly about me or whisper as i enter a room.... what a joke.  if i actually care what people thought about me, life would probably have turned out much different then it has......better or worse i cannot say for sure but surely different.

like i said a few paragraphs ago, i don't really want to go to Chicago anymore. there is not much there for me and at this point it feels as if the game is rigged and nobody gives much of a shit about the visiting team.  i checked orbitz and it would cost me an extra $100 to just cancel everything and fly to Bangkok this weekend.  i doubt I'll go down that road no matter how tempting it is but I can just about guarantee that I'll be spending a lot more time with my friends then i had anticipated.

a bit of a rant there which I wont apologize for....had to be done truth be told but on to other things lol.  here is one of the things that i love about Alaska.  in Homer there is but one traffic light (and could probably due without it other then June and July) on one side of the traffic light is a McDonald's and on the other is a bit of forest before and then the ocean.  right there across from the traffic light in one of the dead trees is a huge nest where two bald eagles decided to lay a couple of eggs and raise a family.  so whenever you drive down the main street in town, you can slow down and look up and see a bald eagle feeding her chicks or more recently, the chicks (almost full grown now) out on the dead branches, flapping their wings, trying to figure out just how the hell to fly.  right there in the middle of town. fucking great. (those of you who live in Alaska please stop shaking your head and laughing at me and remember that not everyone is blessed with the wildlife we have here).

I have decided to buy a new wardrobe and went on line shopping at oldnavy.  obviously nothing fancy but it was definitely time to throw away some of the older shirts and shorts. somehow i always rip my shorts right  down the crotch.  its like the poor bastard is trying to break free for a breath of fresh air or something.  I have also bought a new backpack via the Internet to replace the one that was stolen.  The fucked up thing is that the company somehow go the address wrong and is sending it to the middle school down the road from my parents.  I caught the mistake before the pack left their warehouse but they would not get it off the truck. " no no we cant do that, its in the truck already" as if the truck were some sort of holy vassal that cannot be violated.  so now i have to wait for the package to be rejected and sent back to Utah and then they will send it to the correct address.  what a cluster fuck that turned out to be.

OK folks, next you hear from me i should be in Chicago.....unless i get a wild hair up my ass and then i might end up in Bangkok who knows.  its always an adventure is it not?

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gabriel mceskew on

hey neal

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