Jerry springer here we come

Trip Start Dec 28, 2004
Trip End Ongoing

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Friday, April 17, 2009

I'm not sure what the hell i was thinking about in my last post because the two funny stories that i meant to relate to the wide world i totally left out and spaced out on so in the spirit of backtracking due to forgetfulness let me regale you with a couple of stories lol.

while still up in IM's village we went to a lake for one afternoon which was nice because it was hot as hell way up in isaan.  well we get to the lake and we get some lunch of course because the Thia's constantly eat and yet never gain any weight.  after our nice meal of salted fish and rice IM asks me to go paddle boating with her which is just hilarious because i haven't been in a paddle boat since 1981 when my dad used to drag me and my sister around  a lake on the weekends.  so IM and i get this little paddle boat and off into the open waters of the lake we head.  the problem was that this paddle boat was made for little Thai people so my knees were up in my chin and my feet literally didn't fit in the space provided so every time i paddled i had to squeeze my foot down into the space.  after a minute or two it actually became quite a painful event.  Now I'm not in the best shape but i was really surprised by what a hard slog it was through the water until i realized that IM was just sitting there with her feet on the pedals but not doing any of the work.  once i cracked the whip and got her lazy ass into gear we moved much more gracefully through the water.

now for a total jerry springer episode which i just cant enough of.  IM has a 15 year old sister named AOM.  Aom has a boyfriend who is 30 years old which is a bit odd but it gets better.  Lin (aom's boyfriend) has a wife and baby. the wife was in America until a few days ago with her American boyfriend but now she has returned.  it took about 5 days for her to figure out what was going on and when she does she goes over and tells the parents that aom has had the pipe being laid to her by a middle aged man....they obviously had no idea.  of course dad whups aoms ass and then gets lin (boyfriend) arrested for having sex with a minor.  welcome to village life....i'm just glad that this sort of shit doesn't only happen in American trailer parks.

IM and i were in bangkok a while ago and we were going out to a nightclub for a few drinks and to enjoy the air conditioning but we forgot that some places actually card and we couldn't get into the club because IM is only 19 and you have to be 20 to get in.  She was horribly embarrassed but i couldn't stop laughing because it was so damn funny.  her birthday is in July so when i come back from Alaska we will be able to have a few drinks and relax to our hearts content.  pretty funny stuff eh?

As most of you know, there has been a lot of crazy shit going on in Thailand as of recently with the culmination of bangkok being reduced to flames on the biggest holiday of the year.  i have long stated that most of the fault lies with the police and government for refusing to enforce the rule of law and letting the protesters run amok and bring vital aspects of the country to a stand still (think airport closure).  well the government finally got its head out of its ass and laid down a serious ass kicking to the red shirts and ended their bullshit in 2 days.  yeah there was some bloodshed but they brought it upon themselves.  Thailand has a phrase "som nam na" which means 'serves you right' and it definitely applies to these jack asses.  the best aspect of the crack down was that huge groups of ordinary citizens came out of the wood work and started kicking the shit out of the red shirts because they were tired of their lives being turned upside down in the never ending bullshit that has taken over the thai political arena. all this being said, I'm alive and safe here on ko tao and never even heard the distant rumble of a tank engine so rest easy faithful reader.

well i have about 17 days until alaska which kinda sucks. i mean i need to go because the money is past low and bordering on non existent but on the other side, i really hate working my 16 hour days and i'm going to miss IM because we have really kinda grown on each other.  its funny, sometimes i superimpose my current relationship with my time with ninny and compare the two and realize that i have had more fun days and romantic times with IM in 2 months then i had with ninny in 2 years.  I'm not saying i didn't have fun with ninny because i do have good memories of that time but our fights out numbered our good days 2 to 1 and IM and i have only had one rough day and that was because i forgot that she was afraid of ghosts and i went and used the Internet at 3am....she was seriously pissed.

As i mentioned in my last post, we're back on ko tao and i went diving for the first time since Ive been back today and somehow managed to throw my back out once again.  i did the same exact thing when i first arrived in Thailand in September of this year and now i have come full circle.  i cant explain how bad it hurts sometimes when i try to do something as simple as get out of bed.  i haven't laid down yet so it hasn't completely locked up but tomorrow morning is going to be a bitch and I'm not looking forward to it.  man growing old sucks the fat one and speaking of which (growing old, not sucking the fat one) my 34th birthday is in 10 days.  good god how did i get to be 34 fucking years old?  how did this happen?  i want to talk to management and get a refund or something because the speed in which my life is passing is not normal...there seems to be a malfunction because im pretty sure i was 18 about 3 weeks ago.....i want an investigation.  I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore
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starlagurl on

Hope your back is better soon Neal! Be careful next time, use your KNEES!


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