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Trip Start Dec 28, 2004
Trip End Ongoing

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Flag of Thailand  ,
Thursday, December 11, 2008

so its been a pretty interesting few weeks.  i think I'm really sort of adrift at the moment, what with no girlfriend and no real work to speak of. I have nothing to tie me down and nothing that beckons me onward so what has happened is that i have become a pretty non motivated mother.  bodies at rest tend to stay relaxed and thats where i find myself.....the seventh circle of meditative relaxation.

so lets start with story number one and that is my friend from Alaska is currently on an around the world trip before she starts college and has stopped in Thailand for a month.  the funny part of this whole thing is that when we were working together in Alaska, we started talking about the sex industry and the sex trade in Thailand and she was quite sure that she knew more on the subject because she had read a few papers and seen an expose on TV.....never mind that i actually lived there.  I assured her that if she ever showed up in Thailand i would show her the real deal and let her see what is really going on.  Flash forward 5 months and her and her friend arrive in bangkok.  I pick them up at the airport and then go directly to Pattaya.  Pattaya has a working girl population of about 80,000.  THIS SHOULD SHOW THEM.

that night me and my friend took the girls out on the town to show them the nitty gritty and it was quite amusing. i had never taken into account that they were both pretty sheltered American kids from a very small town in Alaska.  neither had stepped foot in a strip club before let alone the sort of shit that we were bombarding them with now.  as we sat at a bath tub side bar (don't ask) one of the sudsy girls used a set of rings hanging from the ceiling to swing out over the crowd and wrap her naked crotch around one of our little Alaska girls head.  if i could have brought a camera in there and captured the look on this girls face i would be a millionaire right now.  The performers naked ass was gyrating to the music as she pretty much sat atop/straddled our friends head.  The phrase "you wore an ass as a hat" has been used almost non stop since then. 

the girls were pretty overwhelmed with the whole scene but were troopers through out and lasted the whole night despite the obvious awkwardness.  the next day we all packed up and headed back to bangkok.  i showed the girls the basics of bangkok and then left them to their own wacky fun because my friend mickey had come in town and was awaiting my arrival back in pattaya.

as i have stated earlier in this blog, mickey really is like a perverted father figure whenever we get together in Asia and its always a blast hanging out with him even if he does get so stoned he cant finish a thought half the time.  so off to pattaya i go again. Of course its the thanksgiving holiday so mickey and i get the brilliant idea to hit up the Marriott resort for their holiday buffet.  All i want to say about this meal is that when you have all you can eat giant prawns, Brie cheese AND pecan pie, you are not going to feel good after wards but you are going to be one happy son of a bitch.  we sat and ate for about 2 1/2 hours and then went back to our respective hotels with plans to meet up in 2 hours to go out to the bars.  despite the 2 hour digestive time mickey was in no shape to go out and could barely get himself off the bed to answer the door.  the man had effectively beached himself for the night so i headed out alone.

things here in Thailand are never boring and in case none of you were watching the news, all hell broke lose here a week or two ago.  I'm not going to get too deep into Thai politics because it would only confuse you and give me a giant headache trying to explain it.  in the very short and to the point version.....a bunch of assholes shut down the international airport for 8 days and stranded something like 350,000 foreign tourists. of course this didn't really affect me any since i had no plans on going anywhere but it has pretty much killed the tourism business....cancellations are pouring in and there are not many people who want to come here to go diving.  add this radioactive situation to the economic meltdown and you come to the conclusion that the Thai tourist industry is in a world of shit.  You have to stop and ask yourself....what crazy, ass backwards country allows its international airport to get shutdown by a bunch of anti democracy thugs?  i mean can you imagine what would happen if 5000 people tried to shut down one of the major airports in America for over a week?  can you picture this happening at LAX or O'Hare ?  what the hell were the people in charge thinking as they allowed this to go on and for the image of their country to be shat upon by these people?

Like i said, none of this really mattered to me personally but i watched it play out in utter amazement from first pattaya and then Cambodia.  Mickey was on the move (the crazy fucker prefers to live in phenom penh then anywhere remotely civilized) and i figured i needed a new visa and had nothing else to do so why not hop over there for a week and hang out.  the one thing i can say for phenom penh is that they have some awesome western food if you know where to look. there is actually a bar and grill named "free bird" which is an American hang out....all the embassy staff seem to eat there.  anyway, you can get buffalo wings and cheese sticks and jalapeno poppers in this place...its fucking heaven on earth and a few doors down is a Belgium chocolate shop which is just deadly.  Phenom Penh is not the most exciting of places to be sure but it is a really unique place that i cant quite get my head around.  Some parts of the city are just rotting with poverty, the basic city life lines of roads and water literally falling apart right before your eyes but if your eyes wander 10 feet off of that road that is nothing more then a dirt track with a few chunks of ancient pavement, you will see a brand new neon lit nightclub...or condo building....or just a wooden shack selling a few girls.  the place is just a hodgepodge of new and old, rich and poor and the crazy thing is that there are no districts or neighborhoods that delineate these economic differences...they are just all shoe horned together.

Unlike mickey, i can only handle Cambodia in small doses so after a week i bid my friends adieu and headed back to Thailand.  now the trouble with this is that along the way we stopped at the average roadside restaurant for food and bathroom break.  i ate a meal here....i always eat meals at these places.  2 days later i was pretty sure i was going to die.  it was the middle of the night and i was covered in a cold sweat as i teetered atop the toilet in my bathroom, on the verge of passing out from dehydration (i wont disgust you with the details).  the scary part was that i had no drinkable water in my room and i could not really even stand up let alone go buy some. i sent a text message (sms) to my friend that when he woke up he needed to get me some water and anti biotics which he thankfully did....8 hours later.  i haven't been sick like that in years...and then only one other time in college but don't worry, i was out eating off of food carts a day later........NO FEAR.

oh yes i almost forgot.  My blog now accepts donations to keep me traveling in the lifestyle in which i have become accustomed to.  through our trusty friends at pay pal you are now free to give to your favorite charity case.....ME.  mostly just playin but for those of you who worry about me during the festivus/chanukah season, let this ease your mind and let you sleep at night
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starlagurl on

Glad you're doing better after the sickness. And I'm also glad you're not scared of food carts.

As for Pattaya, wow. I wonder if those girls will ever go back there again...

Louise Brown
TravelPod Community Manager

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