Totally Tubular in Vang Vieng

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  Vang Vieng, Lao Peoples Dem Rep
Friday, November 28, 2008

Before we get into the tales of tubing, lets chat about buses in Laos.  Now we have heard lots of horror stories about these things.  Stories like them breaking down and people being stuck on the side of the road for 10hours, drivers trying to fix bus parts with condoms, bus "security" guards with AK 47s that don't look a day over 15, hitting cows, having to sit in the aisles ...you know those such stories.  So its easy to say our expectations for the ride was pretty low.  And here is our experience... we were assigned a seat. Daryl and I got stuck right behind the driver   with absolutely no leg room, which Daryl though he had figured out when he stretched his legs into the aisle. That was until they filled the aisles with locals who sit on portable plastic stools.  So we rode with our knees in our faces.  Chris and Nadz sat behind us.  Or should I say Chris, Nadz and Chris' new best local friend who began to share Chris' ipod with him.  At one point I looked back and Chris had one ear bud in and the local had the other and they were watching hockey clips...then Chris showed him family pictures. Very cute.  Oh I forgot to mention that as we were waiting to get on the bus I spied a very handsome local throwing baggage onto the top of our bus. I mistakenly mentioned this to our New Yorker friend Paul, who then proceeded to yell at the guy that I thought he was "hot" and that I had a crush on him.  Well I spent the rest of the ride being stared at and then at the pit stop the "hot" local approached me offering his warm jacket...with him in it!! Ha... I actually blushed...a very hard thing to get me to do.  Anyways the rest of the ride was spent trying not to look out the front window at the approaching semis around blind corners with cliffs on one side, trying to get comfortable, watching locals fall asleep in very random positions.  But that was it... no Aks...no breakdowns, no condoms, we arrived safe and sound in Vang Vieng at about 2 in the morning. Found a guesthouse and settled in for a few hours of sleep before the next 3 days of tubing madness commenced.
Day #1 (tubing # 398)...started out a bit late in the day.  Got in line around 1pm and signed our life away. They write a number on your hand that corresponds to one in their book, so they can tell who you are and what nationality you are when they pull you from the water (interesting way to start!). You then jump on a tuk tuk and are driven to the launching point. This is where bar #1 is found, which is also the only non-profit bar on the river (all profits to local schools).  Here we were happy to find mojitos in to-go cups (well really just little plastic bags that they tie shut and stick a straw in).  With our first drinks in hand we hopped on our tubes and started our cruise down the river (approx 30 seconds) before the first bar wheels you in with a stick.  The first day we decided to skip this bar and travel about 15 seconds to bar #2.  Here is where we experienced our first Laos whisky (Tiger) buckets and zip lines.  Daryl and Mike were our zip line test subjects...none of us followed.  The 4th bar (no one was at the 3rd) is where you find giant pits of mud for wrestling if you do feel inclined, and another giant zip line.  Spent a bit of time here (more to come on bar #4 with Day #3).  Most of our Day #1 of tubing was spent at bar #6.  Here they had a giant slide, some rope swing, volleyball, ping pong, soccer (football), fires and a decent DJ.  Canada vs. England was soon started on the volleyball court and before you knew it, night had fallen.  So we grabbed our tube and walked across the bridge (the half way point) and tuk tuk-ed it back to town.  Walking  out of the tubing rental place we suddenly bumped into some familiar faces...Brent and Tyler from Nanaimo (and Ko Chang a month previous).  That night we checked out Bucket Bar and called it a night (after multiple street sandwiches and banana pancakes of course.)
 
Day #2 (tubing #209)...With our newly formed Nanaimo super group we headed back to the river.  Same old routine...mojitos to go (hey its for the kids). This time we stopped at the first bar at watch crazies do the giant rope swing.  Stopped at #2 for an extended amount of time, while Daryl, Mike, Rich (our Kiwi friend from the sloooow boat), Carl (our Brit friend also from the slow boat) made up every zip-line show off routine in the book. I proceeded to make friends and do shots with the Volleyball enemies from the day before...the Brits.  These shots lead to mud wrestling at bar #4, and my first trip down the zip line in order to get clean (I chickened out and let go before the shoulder crusher part).  Our day once again ended t bar #6, with another game of volleyball...this time commonwealth vs. randoms,  a wrestling match with Daryl vs. a guy in a girls tank top, a trip down the giant slide by Nadz and I, and just general mayhem.  Crossed the bridge, tuk tuked....but this time bed early!!!
 
Day #3 (tubing #211)... our last day on the river. Started out with most of us wanting to take it easy. That lasted until bar # 2.  Things really picked up at bar #4.  I think the change came when at one point I looked at the bar and found Daryl and Brent bartending with the owner (nice old Laos woman) while feeding her poor husband shoots of whisky, my brother DJ'ing (We're Tubing!!! Tuuuubbbbbbbin!) and Tyler trying to help their daughter cook.  I asked out loud if we were going to have to live there forever.  The owners loved us and we helped them clean up and serve food.... Free booze will get us to do anything really.  At one point Mike and I thought it would be a good idea to try some local chilies...bad idea. I hadn't cried that hard in years! As this bar closed, Daryl attempted one last zip line stunt, which ended with him falling off the top, tube in hand, and me following him down the bank telling him just how cool he really looked.  But that was before he lost his fight with a barbed wire fence...  Anyways back to town and one last night with our British boys at Bucket Bar.
 
So after three glorious days of tubing, we were sick, injured, cut, very tired, and all in all near death. But we loved every single moment of it. Everything that we had heard and more.  Even though we never made it past the half way point, we still had a blast and would recommend a stop in Vang Vieng to anyone who is in southeast Asia.  Famous tubing in VV is checked off the list.  Time for some detox in the capital Vientiane....

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