Doing Battle

Trip Start Dec 01, 2010
Trip End Mar 01, 2011

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Flag of United States  , South Carolina
Saturday, March 10, 2012

Another Saturday has arrived and pretty much has started as usual. The sun has just started to show its face as Harry (our cat) jumps on my head to let me know it's time for me to get moving. Baxter is already up walking around hitting his bells hanging on the door to inform me to open the door and make it quick, it’s time to go.

After getting everyone taken care of I smell the coffee brewing as I sit at the laptop, ready for today’s mission. You see, Gail is feeling a bit better from the surgery she had a few weeks earlier and that means one thing and one thing only… Garage sales!! It will be the first time out in weeks and I have been given strict orders to get the route set up and don’t let her sleep past 7:30AM.

With coffee poured and internet connected I hit Craig’s list to find my mission. After spending 20 minutes finding and setting up our route, I start to mentally prepare myself for what’s ahead. I start by going over the checklist that has been created for me by Gail. List of locations, check, a stack of one dollar bills, check, full tank of fuel, check, bottles of water in the cooler, check. Some might think that this is not very important but let me assure you that it is. Gail is a hard core garage sale General. When she hits the streets she is on a mission, a mission to spend our money! She must touch everything and haggle down the price if by only a penny. She finds and buys stuff that I have no idea why we need it but it is not my function to wonder why, just drive and carry the goods to the van, oh yea and pay for it.

To watch the General in action is amazing. She is focused and committed at all costs. I have seen her cut off people walking into a sale just to beat them in. She will grab and hold on to an item and walk around with it if she thinks someone else is looking at it. There have been times when at big neighborhood sales, Gail has given me a list of items and instructed me to go up the road and recon the sales and report back with the intelligence. Yes, Gail is the General and this is battle. What is truly something to witness is the ladies that don’t have a "Driver", they are on their own. They must maneuver the car as they are looking not where they are going but what is on the driveway they are passing. If something of interest is spotted, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT get in their way. You will be run down like road kill. They will park on lawns, sidewalks or even small children if it means they get that 25 cent glass bowl they were looking for. It is for this reason that I drive my General around. I could not afford my insurance rates if Gail were left on her own as she would have no issue about taking someone out for that special item.

Today’s mission has 7 locations to visit. Gail is out of bed, almost dressed and has had her coffee and it’s not even 8 AM. Oh God help anyone getting in our way today. The General is ready to go. There will be no nonsense today. She has not done garage sale battle for many weeks and her mission is clear. I have been given my orders, “get the van started, it’s time to Rock and Roll!” God help those that stand in her way.
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Marilyn Conklin on

This is absolutely priceless!

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