Trip Start Dec 01, 2010
51Trip End Mar 01, 2011
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Where I stayed
619 Crestview Ct.
Now to some this might not seem like such a big deal but to me this is a major event. Let me explain. Gail has watched every program on how to decorate and entertain that has ever been broadcast over the airways. She wants and expects everything to be perfect for our guests. Her standards are higher than that of any 5 star hotel.
Starting from the time Gail gets the official timing of our guest's arrival, my life as I know it basically stops. Let me explain. Everyone who might visit fully understands that we are just moving in and still in the process of furnishing our home. My thoughts are that people are visiting us, not our furniture. This is unacceptable for Gail. We will have a completely furnished room for them including new bedding, bedroom furniture, and even new hangers in the closet. What? Where did this come from? I thought we were waiting before we went wild on the furniture? What’s the matter with the blow-up bed and some blankets? Not in her house!
The guest bathroom has a toilet, shower, and vanity sink. A fresh roll of TP and some towels is all we need, right? Wrong. Let’s get one of those shower curtain cover things and matching rugs. We need toiletries, nick-knackery things for the vanity and maybe some poe-poe stuff to make it smell nice. What?
Now for the kitchen. Gail asks "what are you cooking for everyone"? What’s your menu? Off we go to the grocery store. As luck would have it, our Sam’s Club sells wine, beer and booze. Gail insists that she needs wine for our guests. I look and there are 8 bottles (1.5 liters each) of wine in the cart. What? Are we having a wine fest? I’m told to mind my business and put that case of beer in the cart. Off to the goodie isle we go. Cookies, cakes, and brownies. Everything a good diabetic like my self needs to maintain proper health. I’m informed “they are not for you” and to stay away from them. With all our food stuffs purchased off we head for home.
Now the real hell begins. You see, I am a slob, I admit it. I have a knack of just leaving stuff wherever I drop it. Papers are left on the table and my trusty laptop is always open and on. I cook and forget to clean up after myself. My shoes are where ever I take them off. I leave watermarks on the mirrors in the bathroom. Oh but how this all stops, like right now! I get yelled at no less than once or twice an hour for being a slob. I can get away with this stuff when it’s just the two of us but not when company is on the way. Gail will not stand for it. Never did, never will. You would have thought that I would have learned by now. No way, I’m a hard head. This is my house and I am the king of my castle. OK,OK, I’ll try to pick up my stuff but I’m drawing the line at my laptop. Hey, I am the king around here, right?
Please don’t think that I don’t want visitors. It would bring me great joy if all of my Family and Friends could find their way to South Carolina. Stay for as long as you want. I’ll feed you, entertain you, and even drive you around to all the sites. Just do a brother a favor. Keep your vacation plans between us. I promise that you will be welcomed with open arms. You will have a comfortable bed to sleep in. Your bellies will be full and your thirst will be quenched. I will have soap, shampoo and conditioner for your bathing enjoyment. Just please only tell me, the King of this castle. Let me be the one to inform my Queen of your pending arrival. I will give her plenty of time to prepare. I figure 10-20 minutes before you drive up should be more than enough. So welcome one and all. Drop in anytime. Just remember our little secret and all will be fine. I'll be happy, you will be happy, and my wonderful Queen won't have time to be anything else but happy. See you soon.