Butterfly Kisses and the SSS
Trip Start
Dec 2007
1
31
41
Trip End
Aug 2008
Beijing,
China
Sunday, February 24, 2008
I am desperately in need of a couple items, but I am with the Spanish Super Shoppers, (aka, the SSS...the Triple S's, if you will, perhaps you might call them, S-cubed, if you prefer) so this could be a huge undertaking. We decide to separate since our shopping interests are so vastly different. I am not casting any stones here on either part of this analogy, but merely expressing a fact when I say, shopping with my Spanish pals is like shopping with two Orange County 15 year old girls. There is absolutely no disconnect between seeing any item on a rack, and then having the immediate urge of having to touch it, discuss it and try it on. Most people can evaluate their relative interest in a shopping choice from afar, but not this, the tiniest subset of the world's population...American teenage girls and Spanish boys. We decide to meet up in one hour's time at a particular spot, but I'm not worried because with the magic of cell phones we can track each other down step by step if need be. So off the go the boys to buy limited edition 361 degree warm up track suits in matching lime green, and I want to find cheap electronics and English language books and magazines.
As I approach the giant International Bookstore, which couldn't be more mislabeled, a couple gorgeous girls come up to me... Yes, more English students. This duo however has a completely different vibe to them. First of all, they are a little older, and more refined. They are dressed a little more fashionably, but not over the top. They are a little more aggressive and how do I say this...much more sexy? The introduction is the same, they want to walk around with me and just speak English. They ask if I'm going to the bookstore and I say I am... So we all go into the bookstore. I pick up a few books, and one the girls asks about my favorite American writers, I spill out a few names and then she asks if I have read any Chinese writers. I thought long and hard on this...I must have, haven't I? Um...I don't think so. She suggests a couple books by some young Chinese writers that are translated into English. By this time, the second girl has disappeared and I am alone with my escort. We then make our way to the music area of the store which is 3 stories up...again she says she loves Western music and is particularly fond of Whitney Houston, and "Sora Broo-Ma." I don't know who this is, I'm thinking Sarah Brightman, the Broadway singer from all those Andrew Webber musicals...but I don't know. She then asks if I had heard any Chinese music. I said I hadn't and she tells me her favorite song is a traditional Chinese piece called "Butterfly Kisses." It is an instrumental about two lovers separated by circumstance, and how their love never will be, because of situations out of their control. She gets the clerk to play it for me on the store's PA system. The song is rarely beautiful. I stand quietly and listen as she stands incredibly close to me, with her hand dangerously close to mine...is this weird?...what is this? When the song ends, she asks me if I like to sing. I say, "um...I guess." She says she is a vocal performance student and loves to sing...do I want to go to a Karoke bar with her? Aha...this must be the scam... or is it? Does she work for this book store and she drags in sad Western men by flirting with them until they buy many bad Chinese books and CD's and once they are hooked, she drags them to a Karoke bar where the tab runs up to about 200 bucks before the fool is left even sadder and poorer, as they say. I say I'm busy, and she says, "...okay, let's get a coffee then." Is she really coming on to me, or is she setting me up to filling out a police report involving a missing wallet and passport? Either way, I could be in real trouble. I say that I don't drink coffee, which is true, and she counters with tea, and I decline and she smiles and says, "okay, nice to meet you, I go shopping now..." She then waves goodbye as only very pretty girls can, like they suddenly go into slow motion and as they turn away you can still somehow still see their smiles after they are three strides away.
I now am behind on my shopping mission, and have only 20 minutes left in my allotted hour "alone time." I want to buy a new, more powerful wireless router for our incredibly slow internet connection. The one we bought can't reach my bedroom, so I have to do all my computer work in the living room, which is not so fun when the Spanish boys are watching their DVD's...and I am very much in the way. But unfortunately, the electronics stores here strictly sell consumer big ticket items...Plasma HD TV, Stereo Systems, etc. I wander around for a long time, and find nothing. I head back to the appointed location, and I find my boys there right on time...even a little early, with bags and bags of stuff. How is this possible? I try to calculate if it would even be able to walk to all the different stores represented in these assembled bags within in an hour, much less pick it out, try it on, decide on if it matches their shoes and to see if it also comes in black. They are satisfied with their purchases, but I am not. They suggest that we go back to the computer super-mall where we found the first router. You don't have to ask me twice... Let's go...Yahoo!
The computer district is packed today. The last time we were there it was the heart of the Spring Festival and Beijing was deserted. Today there are tens of thousands of computer crazed Chinese grabbing up motherboards, expansion modules, web cams, you name it, as if they had never seen them before. I have to maintain focus...router, wireless router, that's all I'm here for, wireless router...nothing else, nothing else. What's that? Some software or...no, wireless router...focus, focus. I make it to the router guy and buy the most powerful Netgear router he's got, a 12X faster, 10X distance monster for much more than it would be in the states. I open the box to make sure that everything is in English, and we're all set. On the way out we decide to eat, and one of the Spanish boys had noticed in his Lonely Planet book that there was a snack place in the area which sounds amazing. The book describes the place as "...snacks that you will want to make a meal." The only problem is we can't find it.
We get some directions, but when we walk down the street...there is nothing. We ask some others, trying to pronounce the name of the joint properly and everyone points to the exact same spot...down an alley between all the big buildings. All we find are closed businesses and little mom and pop clothing, toy and general junk stores. Finally we realize they are talking about the array of street food vendors who are tucked in amongst the buildings wherever you look. We try to judge what's best by the number of people at each stand. We choose a couple that are close together. The Spanish boys are dispatched to buy what I can only describe as "meat on stick," and I'm off to buy them puff pastries that are filled with veggies and meats, and of course, all of us sodas. I send the SSS off to get me two of things that look like chicken and two that look like beef. When they return I am happy to report, the chicken is in fact chicken, and they are unbelievably delicious, but the meat ones...well, they are something else again. I can only describe the texture as "knuckles on a stick." There really isn't much meat but oh what a wonderful aftertaste. It has a sort of, "pond water up the noise at the lake" taste without the suntan lotion smell. Oh well, at least I didn't go for the squid or what looked like jellyfish.
I'll try to keep this short, but I did want to tell you, when I got the router home. I started setting it up. The set-up program politely asked me to choose a language, I picked English...I got started, got as far as connecting to the internet, and then suddenly everything, including all the instructions, turned to Chinese. So the long story short is I'm back to the stupid slow router and the new Netgear sits very pretty in its box.
