DAY 7 -- Farewell Lake George,hello biker butts...

Trip Start Jun 13, 2004
Trip End Jun 19, 2004

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Flag of United States  , New York
Saturday, June 19, 2004

Oh, a sad day, but it was bound to come. We are all ready to go home by now, but really not looking forward to going back to work. The horror! Appropriate to our mood, the day is a little stormy looking, grey when we start out and increasingly dramatic through the Adirondacks, until it clears up a little as we head from state to state. While still intrigued by roadside weirdness, we are all a little cranky and are less inclined to stop and look at stuff than we are to just keep driving!!!

Breakfast is a simple toast and jam and Applejacks (or Corn Pops if you're Chris) affair, and we say a final goodbye to our friendly little cabin and the lake. *sniffle* Just after 9 we are on the road. We got turned around at first but that was quickly remedied. No other wrong turns occurred, which is good, because we might just have decided to blow up ourselves and the car and call it a day. We took a slightly different route back, one that was more direct than our Route 2 path while incoming. Supposedly it would take less time. Little did we know...

Signs for Castleton, Vermont get Tristan and Chris a little giddy, and the weather clears up a little bit as we pull into this small college town. It was the setting for the movie Timechasers, as featured on Mystery Science Theater 3000, and Tris is set on finding a Castleton t-shirt just like the main character in the movie wears. We are thwarted in this quest, but manage to buy a very cute jar of maple butter in the shape of a bear wearing a wide-brimmed yellow plastic hat. Hee hee!

There is a little white dog outside the small shop we have stopped at. He doesn't really know what to make of us. Across the street is another beautiful old chrome diner, called the Birdseye. It tempts us, but we are more interested in getting home. Rutland yields some terrain that looks familiar from Timechasers, but no major finds.

I think it might have been in Rutland that we stopped at a convenience store and bought junk food. Chris bought Snoballs and Tristan bought weird generic local citrus soda. Why does generic soday make me giggle so much? And Snoballs. Snoballs make me giggle too.

On the way we passed some funny signs. The Loose Caboose Snack Shack lured us in as we went through Killington, VT. They had pretty good pastries, and were attached to a bizarre mall-type establishment that only succeeded in creeping us out as we hunted for bathrooms. Then there was Mittenshats (ewe!) on Route 4 after Killington. Further on was a two-sign combo that knocked us dead. One said "Yard Sale" with an arrow, the other said "Tarot Readings". Hmm. Around Killington the storm picks up and makes for some dramatic mountain scenery.

At some point (everything's pretty much a blur as to where or when) we drive by The Tire King. Not just a store named Tire King -- there is an actual guy standing outside dressed in full kingly regalia with balloons advertising a sale! Chris completely misses it, I can barely get a camera to work (the digital is right out because of its delay, but I keep forgetting to advance the disposable I'm using instead, so I am a big fuming pissy dork by now), and Tristan won't slow down or go back. BAH!!!

I have a small fit because I am truly getting hissy-fit cranky. Chris pontificates about the timing of taking photos and I contemplate popping a grapefruit in her kisser. Lucky for her I have no such grapefruit, only an imaginary one, and boy wouldn't that looks silly? Tristan is not helping but he is driving so he has a certain amount of guaranteed immunity, even from imaginary grapefruits.

In New Hampshire we saw a really cool tattered pirate flag on a highway reflector, near Grafton on Route 4. Then there was the Newfound Elf Storage in Bristol NH. Apparently they have a lot of elves there. Around here we only have Self Storage places.

At another roadside gathering place we spotted a hearse with the license plate "HAULU" on the side of the road with a bunch of other parked cars. It's rear door was ajar and a coffin bearing an effigy was propped up for passersby to see. There was some note excoriating some folks about a tax issue or something attached if you got out to look at it. The funny part (well, besides the hearse, and the corpse!) was that the corpse was stuck half in and half out of the hearse so that its torso was shut in the door. Ha!

Traffic started slowing down in New Hampshire. We stop briefly for sandwiches at a somewhat dubious roadside deli and convenience store called the Lockehaven Country Store. The girl making our sandwiches seemed a little confused as to why none of us wanted meat and seemed to give us extra cheese to make up for it, because DANG those were some cheese-filled sandwiches. Quite tasty, too!

After her last encounter with too much cheese, Chris is a little leery and peels some of the layers off and disposes of them. The people inside the store probably think we're even *weirder* now, but that can't be helped! We are vegetarian freaks afraid of too much cheese. We're doomed!!!

As we drove on we saw a sign for Laconia and realized (with sinking, cheese-filled stomachs) why the traffic has been slowing, as we became hemmed in by bikers on every side. We were smack dab in the middle of all the bikers arriving for the big rally. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooo!!! Our "quick and direct" route home was trying to KILL us!!!

At least the views were distracting, although the noise of bikers revving as they are moving in slow traffic gets VERY annoying after a while. There was a police officer on a bike wearing a novelty plush pig hat and legs. There was a pirate biker on a three-wheeler monster bike with a treasure chest built into its back end.

But this was nothing compared to the relief of getting past all of that stuck traffic after over an hour of moving at a crawl. Tristan was relieved of his urge to ram our Subaru into anything that got in front of him. Chris was relieved of the need to barf from all the jerky driving that comes of sitting in slow traffic in a standard that you have to shift gears in every 10 seconds. Ohhh, those were happy times!

In Maine I saw a sign advertising "Cemetery Flowers $6.50" around Limington. Tristan declared if he ever had a daughter he would name her Cemetery Flowers. Me too (ha ha). If. (NOT!!!) Another sign, this time in Cornish, reads "Used Cars Play Pool" and do you think that means that used cars play pool, or that you play pool to get used cars, or play pool while buying used cars? It left me more confused than I was already.

The rest of the trip is a real blur. We apparently did manage to get home, because I am typing this, and it is some months later, and I've apparently been coming into work regularly and beyond the regular bouts of amnesia and fits of giggling, there are no lasting side effects. We still watch Bad Movies and eat pizza every Friday with Chris (from which you can conclude we never did get around to killing eachother). Occasionally I wonder if we'll do something crazy like this again, but haven't pursued such thoughts very far. Maybe with the approach of another summer .... WHO KNOWS???
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