Merde on the Transcanadian Express!
Trip Start
May 07, 2008
1
84
90
Trip End
Jan 06, 2009
Jasper,
Alberta,
Canada
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Well, we got our train from Vancouver to Toronto. It was an experience is all I can say. We met some mad people. Smelly people. Lovely people. Funny people. Standby for comedy.
So, our train was going to take us from Vancouver to Toronto via The Rockies, the famous beautiful mountain range running through Canada. This was something I have always wanted to see. Do you know, the highest peak is Mount Robson which stands at a mere 3,954metres!!! The smallest peak is Mount Joffre which stands at a minute 3,449metres. Pah! Practically a hill!!
The journey would take 4 nights and 5 days on the Transcanadian ViaRail sleeper train
The Rockies
. Food and drink would be provided, films were shown on-board and there was an 'observation' compartment where you could watch the spiky snowy mountain peaks roll past. The horror of India's train journey was still fresh in our minds so for this reason we booked our own private 'room' on the train as opposed to a general cabin closed off with a curtain. Our room was great. It had a small toilet, sink and 2 bunk beds and right outside our cabin was a shared shower room. Everything was spotlessly clean and really cosy. No sooner had we dumped our bags then we made the short walk to the back of the train to the 'lounge' area. Pretty soon, the room was full of people and we were all just one big happy family, laughing and joking and swapping life stories under the moon as the train rolled away out of Vancouver. There was a bar on board and we got handed free champagne to guzzle while we all got to know one another. Later on, some of us went up to the observation area, just a few stairs up from the lounge area. This was a glass ceiling-ed seating area with all-round visibility. There were no lights up here though, so sitting up here at night was like sitting under the stars, literally, magnificent. It seemed like a really fantastic train and we were really excited about what the next few days were going to bring us.
The only way I can think to describe the highly colourful people we met on that first night is to do a 'Character Analysis'. Character being the operative word here!
PAUL: this was the first guy we started talking to in the Lounge area. In his late 50's, very tall and thin, from California originally and travelling alone
Frozen waterfall in The Rockies
. Within 10minutes he had told us how much he loved train travel, how much he loved this train, how much he loved the food, how much he loved the staff, how much he loved the scenery, how often he'd taken this train ("so, what else do you do then, Paul?"), what other countries he'd travelled by train on.....! he also spends a lot of time going to and from Thailand several times a year which often results in him unfortunately being interrogated by US officials on his return home. TEXAN HUSBAND & WIFE: they were a lovely couple in their late 60's?. The wife would have looked perfect within the pages of Country Life Magazine with her bouffant and pearls. They had thick Texas accents and were very polite. (David: The guy sounded and looked like Bush.) (Lois: but with white hair.)
WINK & HUSBAND: they were also a lovely couple in their early 50's? Wink and I hit it off and chatted about our honeymoon. Wink's husband often took to wearing a bright red tartan blazer which went fabulously with his full head of white hair. Wink was very attentive and absorbed in everything you said with a deep penetrative stare.
HOWARD: Looking just like father Christmas with a belly full of pies, he sat and just told an endless stream of jokes no matter of creed, race, age. Funny, not so funny, sometimes tactless. He asked the Texans, "what do you call a man this tall in a 10-gallon hat?" (While pinching his fingers together and squinting.). We were all listening attentively, smirking at the anticipation of the punch-line....."A Texan who's been knocked down!" he blurted out. Some laughed, some didn't. The Texans laughed politely but then spent the next 20mins talking about Howard and laughing at him
Us beside our train in Jasper
. This was a bit rude but then Howard's joke wasn't exactly tactful either (David: I question the use of the word 'joke' to refer to what he said... I don't actually get it... his equally tactless joke was a bit funnier though: "If a Texan couple get a divorce, are they still Brother and Sister?"). Howard also loved trains. He'd been on this train several times before! Several times being an understatement. Loved the staff, loved the food, loved the scenery....loved the staff...have I said that already? Loved the food. Loved the scenery. Loved the staff...Howard informed us he could speak fluent Hebrew, worked on a kibbutz when he was younger and was now married...which apparently didn't go down well with his family. After several more minutes we learnt Howard was married to Don and that they were both Jewish. (David: He was definitely making a name for himself as being the prime candidate for being murdered...) (Lois: murdered on the train...hence the title of this blog...)WEDDING ANNIVERSARY COUPLE: we didn't talk to them much. In their 50's? she had jet black curly hair and tassle boots and he looked like a mad scientist! They were celebrating 20 years of marriage and were also just really friendly and smiley.
AUSTRALIAN SHEEP SHEARING COUPLE: this couple came into the lounge last
I'm ready for a snowball fight!!!
. In their early 40's? big loud voices and big stories! We didn't get to chat to them much either but all I caught of the last bit of her conversation with several people was how she sheared sheep. (David: They spent much of the trip trying to spy 'critters', as they called the wildlife...)ASHLEY: we met Ashley late that night in the observation area. A lone traveller in his 40's? from Dundee originally but has also lived in NZ and now Quebec. We immediately hit it off with him and he bought us a drink to celebrate our honeymoon which was lovely of him. We all chatted until about 1am after everyone had gone to bed and the train was a gentle rocking tube of snoring.
The next day, after a great night's sleep in our crisp cotton-sheet bunk beds, we went for breakfast. The food was plentiful and varied, like a 5* Hotel, with wonderful staff and breathtaking scenery as we ate at 8am. We were rocking through the Rockies with the train track completely surrounded by acres of sparkling white snow adorning trees, rooftops and fields. Absolutely stunning. All you could see around you were fir trees sprinkled with white dust and our silver train glinting in the blazing icy landscape.
Every day you woke to a member of staff walking through the train shouting "1st/2nd call for breakfast, please make your way to the dining car". After breakfast you were free to sit in the observation area, read in the lounge, snooze in your cabin or watch the on-board film in the 'viewing area' - this being simply a carriage with a load of seats and tables in. The lounge was also not quite swallowing sofas and poofs (have I spelt that right?!) but rather like a rest home with wipe-clean soft chairs in a horseshoe shape with little metallic stands to rest your drinks
A snow-bin laden found in Winnipeg
. The concept of the 'lounge' was fantastic. The comfort factor, however, not so good. At lunch, everyone got to share tables. This was a great way of meeting new people and chatting and having a laugh. Again, the food really was beautiful. Lamb, chicken, beef, vegetables, soups, chocolate desserts, ice cream, coffees all served on linen table cloths with silvery cutlery and little table lamps. How decandent. It was often a loud, boisterous affair with, usually me, shouting out, "oooo!! There's a....a....." and someone from another table helping me out, "Elk!" Sadly, we saw no bears. I really wanted to see one but someone pointed out they were probably hibernating - of course!!!
The afternoon was spent rather like after breakfast and then dinner was again delicious with cheese and crackers and wine and soft lighting and everyone having a laugh with everyone else. Much fun!! After dinner, was often the raucous time when everyone got drunk, lounged, played cards and children went mental before bedtime!
On our first day through the Rockies, we passed by a waterfall. This was, however, no longer a waterfall but a frozen ice sculpture of lethal blue stalagtite-like fangs to where water once cascaded towards a euphoric splash against rocks
A train employee digging the tracks out!!
. It was absolutely breath-taking. Slightly marred however, by the stench from the two toddlers who had very dirty nappies!!! Change your children's nappies!!! Walking through the compartment where this family were sleeping resulted in a stench of urine and poo! Change Your Children's Nappies!!!!!!! Maybe they couldn't afford a lot of nappies though.... (David: Obviously, they'd spent all their money travelling in the first class carriages then!) I got chatting to the guy one night. He worked for a Homeless Charity in Montral which explains a lot: they probably really could not afford many nappies then. However, their children were really happy and fun. Later on, the train stopped for 2 hours in Jasper while some passengers left us. Jasper was gorgeous. A small town smothered in snow up to the ankles with a stunning backdrop of icy blue mountain peaks standing ominously over the town. Ashley, David and I wandered about for 1 hour before we had to get back onto the train. We went into one shop where, while I posed in Elvis-type glasses, we got told off for taking photos! I threw snowballs at David, Ashley kicked snow at me and then David pushed me over into very deep snow!! It was fabulous!!! However, absolutely freeezzzzzzzzing! The temperature being -30!!! Yes minus 30!!! David and I had no hat, David had no gloves or scarf, I had gloves and a scarf, both had jeans and our walking shoes and anoraks!!
A typical scene
! Anoraks for crying out loud!!! But we had about 4 layers on underneath though. It wasn't too bad once you got walking about. One night, after dinner, David and I went into the bar for drinks and played the Catan card game. No sooner had we started then the 'regulars' wanted to come in and sit with us! Hence, a useless game of Catan followed for the rest of the night. Paul (trainspotter Thai-lover) was there; Howard (father Christmas joker extraordinaire); Ashley and some other guy (postman) we had never met before. We all chatted, laughed, swapped life stories and had a very good night. We were getting to know everyone gradually and slowly everyone's personalities were coming out. Paul was never short of advice, a story, a friendly word, a smile - lovely guy (David: Think of David Letterman, but older and thinner.). Howard was the same, all he seemed to know were good (or bad!) jokes but again, never short on a friendly word or smile and really listened intently to everything you said, like he was genuinely interested (David: In fact he was just trying to think of his next joke, all of which we heard about 3 times each.) (Lois: ah, bless him!). Again, bedtime was not before 1am for any of us.
I was very surprised by this train journey. I really believed that it would be a breathtaking journey through the Canadian Rockies. However, it was only 1 day through the Rockies and the rest of the 5-day journey was through miles and miles of flat plain prairies. Absolutely stunning nevertheless. "Is that it?" I said to David??! 1 day was a fantastic taster though and a provocation to return and see The Rockies properly. (David: I did wave a map vaguely in front of Lois' face, but I think something fluffy went by at the time...) (Lois: cheeky bastard!......at least I SAW an Elk!)
One night, we stopped in Winnipeg
David's frozen breath outside the carriage walkway
. The train stopped for 3 hours for refuelling and disembarkments. So, we were free to wander around briefly before continuing on our journey. Ashley, David and I got together and went off to the local Hotel bar for a drink. Ashley, bless him, was like our dad! He worried that we didn't have hats or that David didn't have gloves. Ashley meanwhile was all togged up like he was about to climb Ben Nevis! Admittedly, the snow outside was deep and still falling and your eyelashes turned into stalactites.... Fort Garry Hotel was built in 1913 as luxury accommodation for the train passengers. It is a beautiful Hotel full of elegance and decadence with a bar of twinkling crystal chandeliers, a pianist tickling the ivories and deep sumptuous armchairs. Famous guests have included Lawrence Olivier and King George VI and Queen Elizabeth in 1939. More famous though, is the resident ghost in room 202. Apparently, a woman hung herself in the wardrobe after she discovered her husband got killed in a car accident. This happened between 1911 and 1913 and the husband was one of the workers who helped to build the Hotel.
Anyway, us 3 walked into the Piano Bar, looking like frozen Arctic Explorers. We ordered drinks an sat down. Within 5mins, the Head waiter had thrown David's Guinness all over me and catapaulted my Gin clear across the table!!! He spluttered apologies profusely as I attempted to wipe the table down. Everyone drinking in the Bar stopped whatever they were doing and just stared at the mayhem. The pianist also froze, fingers suspended mid-air above his keys as he watched the pandemonium. The only noise now filling the elegant bar was the Head Waiter gushing, "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry". I was absolutely saturated and now smelt like a brewery
Freezing horsies!!
! We changed tables and I sarcastically thanked the Head Waiter for our free drinks before he'd even offered us some as compensation. He was so apologetic and very embarrassed and despite the utter chaos and the attention we got from other guests as I screamed at the tsunami of Guinness splashing over me, I just had to laugh. What else could I do? I wasn't wearing Armani, everything comes out in the wash. It was so bloody funny and the 3 of us just sat and cried with laughter. (David: We got two rounds for free.) You know the spooky thing though?? Apparently, the piano bar is also haunted with a mysterious man that sits at one of the tables and moves things around! As well as the female ghost of room 202 wandering around occasionally. I KNOW this had something to do with it. The Head Waiter told us in his apologetic speech that he's never spilled a drink over a customer ever! One night, on the train at dinner, we got seated with a lone girl from New York. Blonde and probably in her early 20's? First of all she sat down opposite us and just kept sighing really loudly and exasperatedly every 2minutes. We smiled at her in a kind of sympathetic way. Was she scared of train travel?! After a million loud sighs directed at nothing then came the "Oh! Heavens!" muttered under her breath as she stared out of the window. It was bizarre. "So, where did you get on?" David asked, trying to break the ice. "Winnipeg". Ok. Well....that's that covered then. I then asked her where she was from, "New York". Good....good...another subject covered. Then, I asked her what the weather would be like in New York right now. Suddenly, she threw her head back in mock laughter but eventually apologised when I just looked at her, very confused. "Sorry, that's a very popular topic on this train. I don't do small talk! Oh, another favourable topic is "where did you get on? HOW many times have I heard THAT?" she raised her eyes up
In-between carriages was an external walkway!
. David & I smirked and I said "well, it breaks the ice, you know, if people don't know each other...." She made it clear she didn't like Canada or the Canadians and couldn't wait to get off the train. She also told us how, on a recent trip to Ireland, she'd had an argument with an extremely drunk Norwegian guy who proceeded to ask her where she was from. I presumed to be friendly....as people do! "Where do you think I'm from?!!" she asked him and then she said to us "I mean, he must have known I was from New York!" Howard (father Christmas Joker), Ashley, Paul (trainspotter) and I became the regulars in the bar every night. Not through pre-planning. We got to know Howard very well and I got to really like him. I thought his joke-telling was simply a way of ingratiating himself into a group or a method of socialising (David: He should check his material.). He seemed, to me, quite a shy and reserved man but he had depth and a hell of a history that I really wanted to get to get into! He used to be a counsellor for the Veterans Association and later, before he retired, worked in what he called a 'Psych' Hospital. He collects teddy bears and grew particularly animated about the 'bondage' teddy bear he had! Don, his partner, was the official trainspotting fan. I think what Don didn't know about trains probably wasn't worth knowing as he collected them too. Unfortunately, we never really got to know Don as he always sat in their cabin doing crossword puzzles but he always had a smile for you when you saw him and seemed very friendly. They had a cat called Groucho and lived just outside of Toronto in Oakville.
Living just outside of Toronto was what started 'the invitation'. A good name for a film. Howard invited us to stay with him and Don as he knew we were visiting Toronto for some time
Inbetween carriages!
. They had recently moved into a spacious 5 bedroom house which sounded lovely! We thanked him profusely and said we would have a think as we weren't sure what our plans were yet. At the time of the invite, Howard, David, Ashley, Paul and I were sitting in the bar late into the night, all talking about travelling but mainly David and I sightseeing in Toronto. It was the most bizarre and comical experience ever! It seemed like Paul and Howard were competing with each other for our attention!!! Where Paul was quite confident and outspoken, Howard was very soft and emotive. The conversation kind of went like this:PAUL (whiney, but strong West Coast accent): actually, if you want to get to Montreal from Toronto you could get the train...it runs every day...it costs this much.....the scenery is really stunning and...
HOWARD (also very strong accent): you know, we have a double bedroom you can stay in and you'll have complete privacy with your own bathroom...wouldn't that be nice? (smile)
LOIS: gosh, it would Howard! thanks so much. We'll let you know....
PAUL: or you know what? You could get the train from Toronto up to Quebec...oh that's such a long way but my, it's beautiful, and then you could always......
HOWARD: you know what else we have at our house?
LOIS: what's that Howard?
HOWARD: pot! (smile)
LOIS: Pot?? (I just thought pots, you know, that you cook with...why is he telling me he's got pots? Doesn't everyone have pots?!)
HOWARD: pot
More Rocky vistas
! Hash! LOIS: OH! POT!! Ooooo that sounds great! We'll definitely let you know once we know what we're doing.
PAUL: I live in Nova Scotia...it's so beautiful up there.. are you going up there? You must it's stunning...there's a secret cove up there called Charlotte's Cove....it's just beautiful....did I tell you......
HOWARD: you know, Don and I would cook you a lovely meal...with fine wines....we could play backgammon.....wouldn't that be nice? (smile)
LOIS and DAVID: it really would Howard (geeez he's insistent!)
PAUL: ..you know, there are some beautiful B & B's in Toronto....oh, you have to go to ......
HOWARD: Paul...these guys are in the Silver and Blue section of ViaRail you think they're gonna want B & B?! these guys want style! Comfort! Listen, I bet you guys'd like to do some washing wouldn't you? You could do all the washing you like at our house...we have a drier too...(smile)
And so it went on.........and on...........and on.............Howard was so very kind and inviting but relentless
The length of our train!
! We had visions of the film Misery flying through our head! Howard, being Cathy Bates! Paul was full of advice and stories. It was a battle who could win us over!! So unintentionally funny. Meanwhile, Ashley had also invited us over to stay with him if we went up to Quebec. Quebec was a must-do for me but our plan was so sketchy at present. Ashley was cool though. He suggested places he'd take us, the fun we could all have and then left it at that. Maybe HE was the mad man with the axe and not Howard! They say it's always the quiet ones.....The next day when we saw Howard, he continued pledging his case, and cornered me in the train corridor. David ran off ahead! "you know, I meant to also say, we have a study, where you can sit and read and check your emails if you want......
"thanks so much Howard, I'll have a chat to David and we really will let you know" I said (a little exasperated).
"You know we don't get many guests at our place, it would be so much fun, laughing, playing backgammon...."
He was such a sweetie. But really like a dog with a bone! He gave us his card and didn't pass up the opportunity to remind us again of how much fun we'd have and of all the comfort and luxury. And so it went on some more....at lunch, as he and Don left, Howard said "I've spoken with Don about my invitation to you both and Don thinks it's a brilliant idea, we'd be just thrilled to have you both over to stay " (as if Don's acceptance would be the Final Persuader for us to stay with them)
The roof of our train and the Rockies
. Don fixed a smile and just kept walking.... "Brilliant! thanks Howard, we will definitely email and let you know". Jeeeeeeeeeez!!!! On our way to Toronto, our final destination, the train was severely delayed. We were supposed to get into Toronto at 09:30am but we didn't get in until 5pm!!!! Apparently, there had been some freight trains on the line delaying our journey so it was just stop, start all the way. The chef had to get imaginative in the kitchen as he'd obviously run out of ingredients so he rustled up some soup and ravioli for everyone which he must have found at the back of the cupboard. It was delicious! We wondered what he would have done for dinner had we been even more delayed!!! A lot of people missed their flights and connecting trains but the staff were absolutely wonderful and made a million phonecalls. Thankfully, we were free as a bird so it didn't matter to us how much longer we were on the train. We did get to see a fantastic sunset in Toronto though as we got into the station.
It was really a fantastic journey. (David: It was great being on the train... I didn't want to leave. So the extra eight hours or so were very welcome.)
We loved the train journey. We made some lovely friends (and acquaintances), saw some stunning scenery and ate like royalty. We vowed to go on this train again in the future.
Love, us xxxxxxxxxx
