Melbourne
Trip Start
May 07, 2008
1
38
90
Trip End
Jan 06, 2009
Melbourne,
Victoria,
Australia
Friday, September 12, 2008
Welcome to our Melbourne blog. Melbourne was primarily to visit our friends and drink beer and not necessarily to sight-see or gain a deeper insight into the cultural or historical movements of Australians since the 18th Century. Discuss.
We drove to Melbourne, via Hanging Rock, which was made famous with its book and subsequent film "Picnic at Hanging Rock" made in the Jenny Agutter "Gets her kit off" era. If you've not seen the film it's fantastic, about the supposedly true events of 3 schoolgirls and a teacher who go missing on the rock in the 1900's. It's a big mystery and they've never been found since. But the 125-year old author has been found and tried: she made the story up?? We got there at 5pm and were too late to climb the rock, but it was eery as the evening breeze muttered through the leafy trees above us and the rock towered satanically over you like it does in the film. Neither David nor I went missing...so that's good..! (David: I went missing temporarily, but I was in the visitor centre. And the staff went missing - but they were found out the back playing dominoes. So all is indeed good.)
Arriving in Melbourne brought us sharply into touch with Melbourne drivers. Just think of Italy. We thought India was bad! But at least everyone in India is happy cutting everyone up. In Melbourne, the cars exude anger and venom. Also in Melbourne they have this bizarre 'turning right' rule where if you want to turn right at a crossroads you have to get into the left hand lane (there are signs reminding you!): when the light goes green you have to go and sit in the middle of the junction.
Even the sat nav is sexually charged!!
When the green light shows for the other side you have milliseconds to scramble out of the way of angry Melbournians intent on extracting the full (extortionate) excess out of your hire car. It's an unsettling experience: there you sit, with a hundred Melbourne eyes glaring at you - taking your measure - their left feet holding the clutch at biting point - engines roaring - venomous brains calculating which bit of your car will cost you the most in repairs... phew.Seeing Jen and Greg again was great after approx 18months absence. After sitting and chatting for a while we headed straight out for a curry and beer. Woohoo. Jen assured me that vindaloos were not at all hot in this place and as I usually go for really hot and spicy dishes I thought sod it. Halfway through Jen asked me a question. I managed to say.."ask David, I can't talk right now!" as I panted like a rabid dog and fanned my open mouth!! It was tongue-swelling spicy but absolutely delicious. I will have more vindaloos from now on! Thanks Jen!
We headed home about 11pm-ish and just chatted into the night. Well, Jen and David chatted into the night. Greg fell into a stupor on the sofa and then awoke 20 minutes later and resumed his conversations as if nothing had happened (David: Drunken power napping - it might catch on...) while I took his place and fell into a stupor and mumbled my way through the next few hours on david's shoulder. (David: *mumbled should read: dribbled).
The next day, we briefly discussed what we should do, tourist-tically.
Hanging Rock..the rock is up there somewhere...!
Only one place aroused a wooo woooo from me: Queen Victoria Market. A famous and fantastic open-air market where you can get anything and everything from food to knickers, from dog baskets to the dogs to put in them. There are over 600 stalls and has been in existence for approx 125 years. All 4 of us piled into our car in the chilly but blazing Melbourne sunshine. David and Greg went off to handle sausages and bloody steaks and Jen and I went off to oooo and ahhhh at girly tops and dresses. I found a gorgeous little silky top and was invited to try it on in the stall's changing rooms: the back of a lorry curtained off to create two private changing rooms. Genius! Never seen that in UK before. (David: Greg and I completed our mission within seconds and spent the majority of the time sitting in the sun eating deep fried delicacies) I could have spent all day at the market, it was huge with fabulous handbags and clothes and jewellery but we all had hangovers from last night so we called it a day. A blessing as we really don't have room for much more of my fetish shopping sprees!!Calling it a day involved finding a pub which we got to by tram. Going by tram gave us a real insight into the city and its people. Melbourne is very diverse and absolutely flaming massive - it seems like the same size as London. People on the tram were very trendy or very individual in their style. Like London. It was Saturday so everyone was going somewhere, seeing someone, planning something as the sun moved over our faces.
Melbourne City in the distance
(David: I didn't see what was or wasn't allowed on Melbourne trams - but they were so crowded I suspect it's a self organising nothing of much. Probably the same as Adelaide which won't allow you anything much: no eating, no drinking, no bicycles. I guess they begrudgingly let you bring your shopping. So far Perth metro wins for at least allowing your bike on board) We got to the pub and met some friends of Jen and Greg's who were lovely and friendly. After a few hours gassing in the beer garden (It was a welcome, but very unusual 23 degrees), we got onto another tram to get to a more central pub called something like the Lock up or something! It was basically a huge freight container which had been turned into an open air garden pub type affair. Odd but really cosy and lively with little fairy lights, beer barrel and palette-tables, wall murals, leafy plants with what seemed like an anyone and everyone popularity.
We were then taken next door to a Chinese dumpling restaurant where all the waiters are rude, bossy, loud and inhospitable. That's their appeal! When we got there, the staff were not exactly of finishing school criteria but it seemed they had toned down their rude attitude which was disappointing but the food made up for it. Someone said "I wonder if that massive chilli bottle would get into Lois' handbag" as I had rather a large one with me that night. Well, don't ever tempt me! The next morning while hunting for my blusher brush, I found one large, red bottle of chilli sauce I had carried around all the pubs with me! I completely forgot about it.
All of us at the Lock up frieght container pub!
It's ok, it was covered in napkins! (David: Jen said she'd return it when it was empty)After the delicious dumplings we went to several more bars and drank copiously until about 2am-ish then we headed home. (David: One bar was very English, with a million ex-pats watching football. I found a bottle of Shepherd Neame Spitfire and a bottle of Master Brew. I enlightened anyone that would listen that English beer is best served cold... and the idea that the English like warm beer is a myth we've propagated in order to keep Aussie hands off of our superior drinks. Not only that, but it is actually possible to drink warm English beer, unlike Aussie beer - which puts them at a disadvantage if their fridge fails) Apparently, while in the front seat of the taxi I was gassing away with the taxi driver about some forgettable drivel and when he managed to get a word in edgeways, he asked me a question turning to look at me and I was snoring my head off! My social skills are really something to be envied....
Whitty, one of Jen and Greg's friends, gave me a nickname because I said I had never really had one before. I get called Lo or Lola or Lolo or bitch, whore, cloth-ears or whatever but I've never really had a specific nickname and I wanted one!! So Whitty gave me a brilliant one....Moister Loister. I have no idea how, why or what but it was very funny!! Thanks Whitty!
The next day, Sunday, the sausages and the bloody steaks were put to good use and David and I were treated to our first ozzie Barbie!!! The guys from last night came over too. The sun was out but it was still really chilly nevertheless we all sat out on garden chairs and gorged on meat and beer. It was great. Paul, one friend, was very funny. As well as doing a PhD he has a limitless supply of little-known trivia that he shares with us frequently. "Did you know, in 1985 when Billy Connelly.....", "oh yes, that was the first of it's kind in 1925...", "Do you know fish can't snore?" and such like. So funny. Good to see the PhD in Computer Network Systems was doing some good...! (David: it was here that Greg pointed out that Australians refer to themselves as 'Strayans' - all one syllable if possible - so I'll be referring to them in such a manner from now on.)
David and I had to leave soon after the Barbie..we had to get back on the road...our next destination was the Great Ocean Road leading back to Adelaide again to get our flight to Alice Springs. The Great Ocean Road is a massive tourist destination, weaving it's way along a coastline of absolutely stunning natural beauty.
Love, us xxxxxxxxxx
Comments
melbourne Market
Told you it was fab! But I hope you fared better than I did. Bought my first ever pair of trainers. They were cheap, looked good and fitted. BUT, later - much later, on closer inspection they had different soles! Yup - ! And to this day I wonder who the other person was who had the other two of a non-matching pair. But, take me back someday,someone please, so I can walk in and say 'The Perryman's have been here.' And a HUGE THANK YOU FOR MAKING ME SO HOMESICK FOR OZ. And I didn't win the Euro Millions today either! Hmm. Lorra luv from a dry Cyprus, where a little rain feel and then disappeared today a.m.