India Part 14: Delhi THE GRAND FINALE

• Mrsdp's Profile
• About this blog
• Entry from Delhi

Trip Start May 07, 2008 Previous
Entry Trip End Jan 06, 2009 Next
Entry

  Delhi, India
Thursday, July 10, 2008

Hi Everyone
 
Welcome to our India Trip part 14: THE INDIA GRAND FINALE.
 
Old Delhi, New Delhi, Smelly Delhi
 
Well, this was it. We had spent 5 weeks travelling around India. We had seen trains, planes, taxis, tuc tucs and trolleys. We had walked through shit, dung, litter, stray dogs, monkeys and rotting food. We had stayed in luxury hotels and kak-holes. We had met adorable people and people we'd like to tie to a busy railway line. We'd been conned and lied to but also looked after and laughed with. We'd seen some beautiful and fascinating sights and also seen one Fort too many. We suffered virtually no major illnesses and lived to tell the tale that was: our India Trip.
 
When we got to Delhi, it was just the sort of goodbye we were not exactly wishing for but ironically it was one that, in hindsight, we wouldn't have missed. It started off so badly that it just increased our dislike of the country further more and ignited our itchy feet for our flight out of there.
 
Our flight was not until 3:30am the next morning. We had two suitcases and a rucksack and did not want to lug those around all day

A big erection

. So we went to Left Luggage at the station to store them. It was rammed. And 8:25am. Left luggage did not open until 8:30am. We got seen immediately as we were 'God's Guests'!! (what we always get called! It sometimes has a certain currency to remind locals of this view). Left luggage process involved more writing in bought ledger books, scraps of paper, signatures and gluing. Sigh! 1 hour later (really!) we left and got into a taxi for Delhi centre for some breakfast.
 
This taxi had no air conditioning. So we opened the windows. Oh how short our memory is. At traffic lights, come forth the beggars. Bring Them On. I managed to ramp my window up super fast but sadly david was not so quick. A young girl of about 10 came up. With a toddler of about 4. Both dressed in rags. Girl curled her fingers over the window preventing David from winding it up fully. Repeated efforts to tell her to 'go away' were utterly useless. The taxi edged forward so she growled at david. Yes, growled. Bared her teeth, muttered something in Indian from behind gritted teeth as the taxi edged off. Then her friend came along. Saw we had contributed nothing and spat in david's face! Yes, spat, gobbed, whatever you wish to call it. I sat there with my jaw on the floor and David was also in shock as he looked down at his t-shirt of saliva. We were moving at a reasonable speed now. Once shock had passed, I wanted to jump out and impale that little bitch on some sharp bull's horn

David in mirror of tuc tuc

. Desperation leads to desperate measures. I understand. And I feel so sorry for children that have to go to such tragic lengths to survive. It shouldn't happen. It's heart wrenching to witness it in India. Spitting at a foreigner who does not contribute money though? Forget any money I was about to give you sunshine.
 
I was absolutely FUMING for at least an hour over this. David had ridden the storm and just concentrated on getting the day over with and moving onto Hong Kong. I was sooooooooo mad. What kind of a low life attitude exists in India? Can you imagine a tramp in England spitting at a passer by who donates nothing to him? Imagine it!!! I had a face of thunder. I was mad! Really mad!! They just don't seem to have any flaming morals or even any pride in their country. Yes they have pride in their heritage. And so they should. But there is sooo much litter everywhere. Piles of it, steaming away, fodder for passing cattle or scavaging crows or donkeys. Stinking the city, giving it an aroma of decay wherever you walk. And you know why? Because when you are finished with your wrapper/cartons/uneaten food, just toss it to the road/pavement/railway track. There are no litter bins. On a train, david witnessed a passenger throwing a whole tray of curry to the railway tracks. Just tossing it away as though a law existed for all litter to be thrown to the ground. You have to see it to believe it. There were even 3 teenage girls having a 'throw your banana skins the furthest' competition on one road, laughing away they were

India's street electrics!!!

. Disgusting.
 
We found a Costa Coffee house which was like returning to England.  Gorgeous! Oh how we bow to the power of globalisation. (David: I guess an Indian in London would feel he'd returned to India, my impression was that globalisation added to the culture... there was no way it was replacing the culture). We sat and drank copious amounts of tea and prepared for our long day. There were some lovely comfy armchairs to sit on but one of them was a breeding ground for flies with the staff treating them as house pets and just ignoring their presence. This is another thing in India. They don't get flies. They will revamp a restaurant. Get in new swanky furniture. Re-paint the walls, print out swanky menus and the food will usually be absolutely scrumptious. But there are flies everywhere. On the floor there will be a layer of black flies carpeting the surface. Why not get rid of them?? They don't see flies as a health hazard. Disgusting.
 
A local man came up to us and insisted we go shopping the other side of town because it was a massive religious festival today and no shops would be open. Guess what? All the shops were open and there was no religious festival on! More lies and provocation to go somewhere where he might get a bit of commission! We bumped into him again later and I had a go at him "hey I thought you said all the shops were closed!" he didn't know what to say and sloped off. Stupid idiot. After the spitting incident I had decided I was going to treat these people how they treat us tourists.
 
We got a tuc tuc and hired it for the day - cheap at twice the price

Me feeding cheeky friend

. We were experienced enough now to instantly recognise the good guys from the bad. Mahesh was a lovely guy and took us first to Lodi Gardens which is like Hyde Park but twice as big. We sat under a tree where it was really cool, eating lunch and chatting. I made a friend, a cross between a squirrel and a chipmunk and fed him crisps. He was such a cheeky character!
 
Then on to old Archaeological digs, a fort, and once more (full circle) back to India Gate.
 
This time though, a strange calm spread across David. Rather than waving the pestering 'cut-me-own-throats' away, he engaged with them: "Wow, that's a lot of sunglasses you have around your neck, the sun's not going to catch you today is it?"; or "I'd love a tuc-tuc, thank you very much. Are they the keys?"; or "Ooo pictures of people in front of the monument, that's nice, who are they? You're BROTHER, why would I want to buy a picture of your brother, are you mad?"; or "I can't buy your plastic helicopter for a 1000 rupees, because I only had three rupees and I gave it to that teacher woman over there for the little orphans... how am I going to survive now, without any rupees? I gave them all to her...for... the little... children...so, so sad. Hey I know, how about you buy this little flag with a pin in it that she gave me, how about 5 rupees? No, please come back, only 5 rupees. It's cheap, how can I eat without rupees." In the end this last guy gave David a plastic helicopter for free, just to get rid of him. David claimed he owed it all to Dom Jolly... they'd been well and truly Dom Jolly'd.
 
Apart from that, it was quite a mundane day really, wandering around, killing time. Near the end we had to wait a few minutes for our tuc tuc driver to fix his engine before he took us off to the airport. (Pretend to fix it, to potentially avoid a parking fine - the death squad police saw through his ploy though) While we waited there was this sari-clad woman who just stood staring at the pair of us. I smiled and said hello. She just glared at me. As if I had told her to eff off. David said hello. Same reaction. This attempt at saying hello was obviously not washing with her. At one point she laughed at us and then turned and spoke in Hindu to her male friend who then stared at us for several minutes and laughed too. Hmmm....Nice girl she was. Beautiful nature.....
 
Finally, we got to the airport!!!!!!!!! THE AIRPORT!!!!!!!!!!!! THE AIRPORT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Freeeeeeedom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we got there 6 hours before our flight. A) because we couldn't bear to be in Delhi one moment longer and b)..........see A above!
 
India had well and truly been an adventure. I don't regret going there for one moment. I would not have missed India on our honeymoon trip for anything. Why? Because if I hadn't have gone I would always have been wondering what it was like. Now I have experienced it, I know for sure I will never return. Ever. Well, I would definitely return to the Himalayas. Manali, Shimla and Dharamsala were the most beautiful places. No hassle, clean, stunning views. There I would return to. The rest of India? No. It saddens me that there is so much potential for improvement but such a lack of a) funds and b) impetus to tidy up one's own country and make it a better place. It also infuriates me that what they need are tourists to bump up the economy, to make it a better place but they treat tourists like scum. Generally speaking though, please bear in mind. If only, they could just change their attitude, see what we tourists see, then India could indeed be such a wonderful, enriching, place to visit. As it is today, it has about as much appeal as a pitchfork through one's eyeball.
 
It did occur to me though that the more you visit India the more you would get used to their ways and social habits. It would become easier. For the first timer, it's a very difficult place to visit. I also believe that you have to be a certain type of person to really get the most out of India. If you don't have a problem with flies round you like shit, or dirty bathrooms, or dangerous driving or if you are able to see the funny side of the con merchants, the liers and the unrelenting stream of hassle down every street, then I think India could be a wonderful experience for you....!
 
I am just relating our experiences to you all. Not for one moment would I want to prevent someone from visiting. You have to make up your own mind. I am me and you are all you.
 
Love Lois & David xxxx


David:
I have a few thoughts too - there's plenty of time for them while you've got your nose jammed in an airconditioning outlet on the top bunk of a 24hr overnight train. At least, enough time before your head starts turning blue and you rattle and slide into a coma.

I liked India a lot. It's a comedy country, there's real world laughs all around you. It's no surprise that some of the greatest comedians come from India. You need a sense of humour. The zanier the better.

I can't comment on the whole of India, and looking at the map'o'pins we appear to have only scratched the surface of the North West. We've probably experienced four distinct areas: Mumbai, Delhi, Rajhastan and the Himalayas. As Lois says. of those the Himalayas were beautiful and the rest was smelly and dirty - a quarter of what we saw was lovely. So, I'm expecting the whole of the South East of India to be a paradise.

Here are some things that occurred to me:
1. The caste system is rife, and going strong. If not taking an upturn. There were lower caste protests while we were travelling, and the government gave in to their demands for a reservation. So, not only do the uneducated lower castes perpetuate the system by demanding 'special' treatment the government complies isolating them even more. There appears to be no will to educate them out of their position. Some of the ways we saw people treated was disgusting. Normally I'd say that's just me looking on with Western eyes. But it goes against everything Ghandi stood for - some of the more enlightened Indians will tell you exactly that. But don't get drawn into a political conversation with an Indian, you'll never get away.
2. The food is exactly the same as in any curry house in Britain. It isn't different at all. Some of the spellings might be slightly different and there might be some individual cooks making minor variations, but it's the same stuff. We were excitedly treated to the very rare local Jaisalmer delicacy of Garlic Stuffed Paratha. When I said I preferred an Aloo Stuffed Paratha it was like I'd broken the secret seal of revered parathas - how did I know about parathas? - you can get them in Coventry.
3. Globalisation is not destroying the local culture. That's a myth. If anything it enhances it. It appears that one of the persistent cultural things is dirt, grime and flies. Even Costa Coffee had dirt, grime and flies, as did McDonalds. So don't panic, they're making everything uniquely Indian :) Seriously though, I had my mind changed about globalisation: the warnings of 'it'll make the whole world the same' is not true. Cultures are more persistant than that, exiled Tibetans still maintain their culture, even in such small numbers in Dharamsala. You won't change India with a few Starbucks, and besides, they'll have to serve Masala Chai to get any local business. In fact, for the individual, it's a very positive thing, because there will be a common ground for the people of the World: The golden arches of Big M remind everyone of their home lands: whether that's an american reminded of Seattle or an Indian reminded of Delhi. And then they notice the differences: Rajhani Burger and Naan, Big Mac and Fries.
4. The people are lovely.
5. The people love the British. It appears they have forgotten our raping and pillaging. On the contrary, one Indian guy told us that they are taught by their families that the British Empire time was a Golden Age for India. And if you consider that that is when the warring states were brought together in peace and an infrastructure was built, you can kind of see their point. The fact that they've continued to use the same old techniques to run everything shows that we probably didn't instil any sense of independence in them. Once the current phase of redevelopment is completed, I suspect a new golden age will replace the Empire one. I'd like to see India again then. It's going to be incredible - you can see it taking shape. The India we saw will be gone in 10 years time, and that isn't a bad thing - trust me. Don't worry, the culture will remain, the history will remain but hopefully someone will teach them how to drive.
6. I also noticed that there are five types of pack animal in India:  
a) The Elephant
This is the largest pack animal and he can carry the most. However he is very slow often taking more of an interest in local fauna and is expensive to feed.
b) The Camel
This is a fairly large pack animal and can carry quite a lot, however not as much as the Elephant. He is very cheap to feed and only appears to need a mouthful of grass once a month. But, he will complain about every metre walked and every kilogram carried. He will spit too.
c) The Cow
The holy pack animal, can carry a fair amount and has the added benefit of providing milk on a daily basis. However she is fairly expensive to feed but not as much as an Elephant.
d) The Donkey
This is a small pack animal that can't carry very much. However, what they do carry they carry very fast. They are fairly inexpensive to feed.
e) The Woman
This pack animal carries less than the donkey and takes longer doing it than the elephant. She eats more than an elephant and complains and spits like a camel. But if the circumstances are right she can provide milk on a daily basis like the cow.

7. When Westerners come to India they exhibit what we called, The Fear: An acclimatisation process to the change in culture. We had great fun spotting them, and we liked spotting hippies too - they always looked lost, like they'd missed something. I suppose they'd missed the 60s by quite a few decades. Anyway: The Fear; This manifests itself in three stages and the symptoms are easily visible:
 
Stage 1
Occurrence: Just got off the aeroplane.
Visible Symptoms: Wide, staring eyes; pink sunburnt skin; staccato head movements.
Behavioural traits: Happy to part with 200 rupees for a sip of water; bursting into tears at the slightest provocation. Can often be seen standing at the edge of a busy road for hours on end, either trying to pick their moment to cross or contemplating suicide.
Stage 2
Occurrence: Been fleeced by local traders a handful of times
Visible symptoms: Gaze firmly fixed two feet in front of them; subjective deafness; pursed lips.
Behavioural traits: Will only buy a bottle of water if they've spent at least 4 hours haggling the price down from 12 rupees to 10 rupees. Can be seen marching through bazaars shouting 'no' randomly at anything and everything.
Stage 3
Occurrence: Seasoned traveller
Visible symptoms: Open shirt - bronzed wrinkly skin. Laid back, slow blink rate.
Behavioural traits: Knows everything there is to know about India and is happy to impart such information. Can drift through Bazaars with ease, throwing a passing wink and a nod to local traders. Nothing phases them. Often they will discover the art of Dom Jollying the locals with inane observations such as: 'that's a lot of sunglasses you have around you neck, the sun won't touch you.'

I think we probably showed signs of all three stages at some point or another - sometimes all at once.

8. Driving. It's not as dangerous as it first appears. Although it's true. No-one appears to follow the rules, like sticking to a lane or even sticking to their correct side of the road. But, everyone does appear to want the traffic to keep moving. So lorries will get out of the way: They have a sign on the back saying: 'Horn Please, Wait for Side'. In this case, 'side' means they'll edge over a bit to let you by, and they'll also wave you on if they can see it's clear. Everyone looks out for everyone else. From our point of view it looks like aggressive mayhem, but that's far from the truth. It's not even organised chaos, it's more like an organic machine. The whole system is an organic machine. If Delhi followed the rules there would be gridlock, in fact everything moves smoothly - even if that means no-one stops at a roundabout. You can't fail to admire it really.
The other thing is that they see the person behind the vehicle. We on the other hand only appear to see the vehicle, as if it's a mindless projectile or something. People in India will walk out in front of traffic knowing they are safe because they know the person driving has their foot on the brake. We can't take that risk, because cars to us are mindless machines... and even drivers drive them that way in the west. The Indian way is contrarily less stressful and works better. There is no such thing as road rage in India.
However, having said that, I bet the death toll is pretty high :)


Anyway - that's enough idle thoughts I have a Chinese takeaway to get and the twist is: I'm the takeaway.

Slideshow Print this entry Share Mumbai (Bombay) hotels

Previous Entry Next Entry