Hi everyone
Welcome to our India trip part 5: Jaipur. Jaipur is called The Pink City because basically most of the buildings and city walls are all painted pastel pink. It's an old walled city so has ABF (Another Bloody Fort) and palaces and bazaars and winding streets etc. It's a really beautiful City with elephants mingling with camel carts, tuc tucs and taxis along the roads.
Arif, our driver, took us straight to our guesthouse which was situated in a very exclusive sectioned-off area, mainly housing political ministers homes and governmental buildings. Our Hotel looked like a 1960's 2-storey office block and inside was like stepping back in time to the British Empire!! Our room was ok, two single beds and a pet gecko who lived in our bathroom. As we arrived late in the afternoon, we briefly met our tour guide who whizzed us up to Tiger Fort with Arif driving the car, before the Fort closed. Our tour guide was a quiet man in his 40's, unassuming, quietly spoken, seemed very shy but a bit nervous. We know Arif to drive like a maniac, that's how Indians drive! We are used to it now. Our tour guide was hanging onto the overhand handle though and saying prayers every time there was a tight gap or a sharp swerve!
'Tiger Fort' is up on the mountain. Really beautiful fort. There was a massive palace added on for the 9 wives of Madho Singh II that lived there (busy man!) and as usual, for forts, it's just a rabbit warren of secret stairs, passageways and porches that are exquisitely adorned with marble and mosaics. This is the good part. The bad part was our tour guide whose name I can't remember and for reasons which will become apparent in the blog later, I don't care to remember either!
In the middle of showing us around the fort, he suddenly said "after this, we go to the shop that sell pashminas, ornaments etc" we said we weren't particularly keen on shopping but really wanted to concentrate on history and architecture. This took several minutes to convey to him that we didn't want to go shopping! Our tour guide then started getting very visibly upset and he put his hands together as if he was praying and said "oh please Sir, please maam, I must take you to shop..I must....my boss not be happy..I get the sack if the form is not completed.."
"you will get the sack if you don't take us shopping?!!" we said.
"yes, sir, yes..I must fill in form to say you have gone to the shop..."
"but we don't want to go..it's our choice, surely, if we don't want to go. This is OUR tour."
"well, what shall I put on the form? How shall I say to my boss?"
"say what you like, we don't want to go, it's our choice to go or not and we don't want to go"
The situation was utterly ridiculous and the pair of us were having a heated debate in the middle of this flaming fort with other Indian tourists looking at us. Our tour guide was shaking his praying hands together pleading with us to go to the shop with him so he could fill in his flaming form for his boss so he wouldn't get the sack!!!
I relented eventually and said we would go to the shop, but we weren't happy about being forced to go at all, and that we would go just to look around and nothing else. To say our tour guide was thankful would be an understatement! Sigh! India!! We learnt later on that he was married with a small child and had his own I.T. business dealing in software. He graduated in Science and had qualifications in history and architecture. He was a very nice intelligent man but just had the social skills of a gnat unfortunately. He's only been a tour guide for 3 months and he was enjoying it so far he said. I think the scenario was probably his boss sends out his tour guides and they have to complete a form to say where they went, for how long and when and then I suppose the tour guides get commission for the activities. I felt a bit sorry for our tour guide actually. I think, as he was new to this lark, he probably felt really pressured to do what he was told by his boss.
So, we went to the shop and watched an old man weave a carpet which was actually quite interesting and looked around all 4 floors of jewellery, ornaments, pashminas etc saying no no no to everyone appealing to us to buy their wares, then we returned to our taxi empty handed so our tour guide could tick his "took them shopping" box and we returned to the hotel. This country really tests your patience at times!
Dinner was delicious at the Hotel. Waited on hand and foot by 'the servants' and then we retired to 'the drawing room' which was full of old ancestoral paintings, a stuffed leopard on the prowl, ancestral ornaments and family photos everywhere. Included in the collection of photos was a signed photo of Jackie Onassis shaking a man's hand. Halfway through our game of cards, we met the owner of the guesthouse who was a really friendly but austere man in his 60's. He was a member of some sort of royalty. They're ten a rupee in India, you wouldn't catch Prince Edward running a small B&B in Clapham (Well, maybe you would actually...). But this very nice man was apparently fairly important because Jackie Onassis was shaking HIS hand in the photo. Unfortunately he disappeared quite quickly when he realised we were just ordinary punters and not worth a hand shake photo.
The next day, we met our tour guide again and first went off to Amber Fort with Arif driving. Our Tour Guide can't drive either! This place was exquisite! So architecturally stunning with marble porches, mirror and mosaic rooms and the views of the surrounding hills was incredible. At times, while leaning over the edge of walls to see the vast drop down to the car park below, our tour guide would put his hands together in prayer mode again and say "please, careful, very dangerous". When going down steep stairs he would pray again and say "please, careful" Very caring, but I'll be ok, thanks!! In one part of the mirror and mosaic room some workers were 'restoring' the wall. In England, 'restoring' means maintaining what is there and preserving it. In India, 'restoring' means using plaster and craft tools to copy existing architectural designs by hand to complete the décor of the room. Odd.
Although our tour guide was proficient in history and science and architecture, his verbal knowledge as we walked around consisted of "this is Mughal architecture", "this is British architecture", "16th century" "17th century". and with his voice being so soft and low, it was quite difficult being accompanied by him. Later on, when we left and were back in the car he came out with a gem of information about Jaipur. Passing through the City he uttered to us "this...is pink walls here. Whole City is Pink". REALLY? Well blow me down??! Suddenly I've lost the use of my eyes!"
In the car, we passed Jal Mahal which is a palace on a lake. It's beautiful. Very James Bond. We stopped to take a photo of it and said we'd like to go there. This was obviously the wrong thing to say. "Hmm..no you must get there by boat."
"Ok...so let's get there by boat!?"
"No Sir, you see it all before, in Tiger Fort, Amber Fort, don't need to see it all again." And on we drove into traffic. Right. That told us. Exchanged looks and steam from nostrils emanated from us but we said nothing. We didn't want more praying and begging from him and the threat of him losing his job again if he didn't take us on to ......actually where was he taking us??
"some lunch now?"
"well, we're not that hungry actually, maybe later"
"oh." Silence. Driving on....
"so, where are we going now?"
We were ignored again while he conferred with Arif, our driver.
We tried another tactic..."Arif, where are we going now?!"
More silence...more conferring with Arif....followed by "This is Palace of Wind on your right. Built in 16th Century, all pink...see?" and then we drove on into traffic!! We managed to snatch a wonky photo of it from our back seat window!
"That's that seen then!" David muttered sarcastically and the pair of us howled with laughter in the back of the taxi while Arif and tour guide looked confused at our tears. We had become hysterical now.
"so where are we going now?" we asked.
He took us next to this temple, not sure which one. We got out of the car, Arif went off to park. Tour guide, David and I walked to temple entrance, I put my pashmina around my shoulders, we took some nice photos of entrance. It was really beautiful. Until......."oh, is closed..yes, closed until evening...everyone sleeping now" he read on the information board outside. "closed??" we said. "yes, we must return in the evening." How can our tour guide NOT know this was closed?? HE'S A TOUR GUIDE!!!!!!!!!! COLLATE INFORMATION, GET THE FACTS, BE A TOUR GUIDE!!!!!!!!!!! For pitys sakes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what a waste of time!
Our tour guide had no idea what to do with us now!! WE suggested Jantar Mantar which is a massive observatory built in the 16th Century. Our tour guide thought this was a good idea! Sigh! Jantar Mantar was fascinating for David because he salivates over anything scientifical or mathematical whereas I, although historically interesting, wasn't sent into a drooling fascination. I think our tour guide felt the same way! The place looks like a massive ground for modern art. Its stone instruments tell the time, distances, climate and likelihoods of floods and famine. Amazing feat indeed. There was one instrument that just looked like a huge stairway to the clouds. David went up and I followed until the steps started getting bigger and bigger where you had to raise your foot up to shoulder level to step up! So I rested on the steps halfway up and waited for him. I invited the tour guide to go up after David and he shook his head vigerously, put his hands together in prayer mode and said "no no, quite dangerous". Sigh! His accompanying commentary consisted of, again, just the words 16th century, 17th century or, right at the end, he told us, "that took just one hour to complete...just one hour". Right. You better write that on your form then! (David: It was a giant sundial 75ft high, and accurate to 2 seconds - if you can somehow discern the vague edge of the shadow, probably accurate to 2 seconds... or maybe 20 seconds, or 3 minutes. AND you have to add 29 minutes to account for 21st Century daylight saving time or whatever it is that's happened to Time since the 17th century. BUT, what an incredible piece of 17th century engineering, while we Brits were poncing about in curly wigs.)
Outside, there were palmists, astrologers, small shops to explore....no, he went off to get Arif and the car! at this stage, we had really had enough so were more then happy to move on anyway. In the car our tour guide asked "some lunch now...?" and we said "no, we're just not hungry, maybe later on." This posed a big problem. What can he do with us now? It was like we were children. Conferring with Arif......more conferring with Arif...."right, where are we going now then?" we asked half-heartedly. He had no idea what to do with us. As we didn't want lunch, we had thrown his tour guide plan asunder!!! What would he put on the form? What would his boss say? How would he explain to his wife that he got sacked due to tourists not wanting to eat? How would he feed his child? The plot thickened minute by minute!!!
So we drove to 'Albert Hall'. This massive building, although like Albert Hall London, is actually a museum for armoury, pottery, depicting the life of Pubuji a 14th Century folk hero. We got quite excited about seeing this. "can we go in?" we asked as we drove up the long drive through a lush green park, exactly like Pall Mall in London. "no, it's closed today." For FLAMING HELL'S SAKES!!!!!
So, we drove around Albert Hall and back down 'Pall Mall' to.....where next??
"some lunch perhaps?"
"no, still not hungry".
Hmm...Houston we have a problem with the tourists. They are not co-operating with The Plan.
"could we go to the City Palace?" we asked.
"no, closed today...renovation work" our tour guide explained.
Ok. So we drove around the city streets until our tour guide said "ok, tour is finished for today." (it was 2pm now!). So deliriously happy, Arif, David and I dropped him at our Hotel where he suddenly reappeared with a crash helmet on and a motorbike!! This man was scared of heights, stairs and driving in Arif's car...but he was happy to ride a bike amidst mental Indians tearing around on both sides of the road honking away and swerving to induce whiplash! Sigh! Then he produced a big book.
"please, could you write a few words for me in my book?" his only 2 most recent entries were both in French so we couldn't read them but we just put "nice man, showed us some nice places" and we wrote our names and date.
"perhaps something about my tour guide ability....?" He said smiling at us. David and I whispered at length but just couldn't come up with anything non-blasphemous or too derogatory so he took the book and said "is fine, give me, is fine" and he got out of the car and closed the door and sped off in a right huff. Sorry, but he WAS truly useless and soo timid. I just hoped he realised soon that tour guiding is not for him otherwise his poor wife and child will be very hungry.
When he left, David and I happily skipped off to the bazaar to go shopping. I was in search of a lovely leather handbag and maybe a nice Indian top or something. How easy it is to buy these things in your head! At every single shop, one after another, we were accosted and bulleted with appeals and pleading to buy their things. It just wasn't possible to 'browse' without being harassed. After about the 12th shop I lost my patience wanting to shop in PEACE, so I said to the next man that accosted me, "Look!!! The more you hassle me, the less money I will spend in your shop!" and he looked at me in silence like a rabbit in headlights, then started backing away and said "sorry...so sorry maam" this was wonderful. It worked! Of course it would though! They were so obsessed with us westerners spending money on them so of course by saying I am going to spend less money was incredibly effective. I said to two other besieging shopkeepers and again, they were very apologetic and backed right off. Super!!! After 2 hours of browsing in peace, there wasn't anything we wanted anyway, so we decided to find Arif and return to our hotel.
That night, we got in a tuc tuc and went to this local restaurant that was absolutely brilliant. The restaurant was in a massive converted garage in someone's back garden - they're so entrepreneurial these Indians! The food was delicious. I had a slight problem ordering wine! I had to repeat that I wanted red wine several times then I was handed a glass of white wine, then when I handed it back I got a very hot red wine! Like mulled wine I suppose. It was quite nice actually! Outside, after dinner, there were Indian women dancing with pots on their head! and men playing weird Indian instruments. It was really brilliant fun and I was sozzled after 2 glasses of mulled red chianti!!!
The next day we were collected by Arif and began our car trip to Pushkar. We were glad we had come to Jaipur. It was beautiful and fascinating. Some of the locals marred our experience as usual but it's all part of the travelling experience I suppose.
Pushka was a flaming nightmare! You will NOT believe it!!
Love Lois & David xxx
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