Maybe i should meditate more than never...
Trip Start
Jan 11, 2009
1
9
35
Trip End
Jul 01, 2009
Bodh Gaya,
Bihar,
India
Friday, February 6, 2009
in the end it wasn't nearly as hard as i might have thought, or as enlightening as i might have hoped. at least, not in the way i expected. but that is the essence of the theme emerging for me from the retreat, and this whole trip. i am learning to let go of expectations, or at least, any need for them to come to fulfillment. coming on this trip, i always said it wasn't because i wanted to go travelling, per se. rather, i wanted to see what it was like where most people actually live, to try to find some connection with the reality of this world. i also had more personal goals: i wanted to learn to let go, chill out, go with the flow, and find some perspective in my life. i thought the meditation retreat would set me on the right path for that. but all of these expectations, however well-intentioned or true they may be, are still just that, and the first step in all of this is to stop worrying if my experience is living up to what i think it "should" be, and just allow whatever is happening to happen. if that is an anticlimactic, fairly unenlightening, but very pleasant 10 days of silence, so be it. if that is whatever this time in india has been or will be, so be it. and all the while, nothing or everything may shift slowly or quickly inside me, most likely something inbetween - but that cannot be the point, or it will hault the whole process.
so, back to the experience! the evening after the retreat ended, i was standing awkwardly outside the internet cafe waiting for gordon to get back from our guest house, when a fellow asked me if i wanted a seat. i accepted, a little cautiously - i'm never overly keen on small talk with random men, and here conversations with strangers often end with them trying to sell you something. but Ahmed was very polite, introducing himself and asking if i spoke any Hindi, and then trying to teach me a few words. as we continued chatting, i began to feel this was different from most of the conversations with strangers i had had in india ("where are you from? what is your name? do you like india?). we got onto religion, and had some really interesting conversations about icons, what god really is, the differences between spirituality and religion, and where culture and politics come in. he explained to me that there are actually 2 types of buddhism in india, one for hindus and one for muslims, and also told me that the Boddi tree that the Buddha gained enlightenment under gives off oxygen all night unlike most trees - that buddha was a smart guy! after a while his friend Ravi came over to talk as well. he is studying ancient history at the university in Bodh Gaya, and will be going to Delhi in a couple of months to do a computer course, thanks to a swiss fellow sponsering him and his family so he can go to school. once gordon arrived, we asked them to take us to the sort of place indians actually eat, which was wonderful once we got over the initial shock of the dark, grim looking concrete room they took us into.
the following day Ravi invited us to his home in the village across the "river" - since it is the dry season right now, it was more a giant expanse of sand than a river. his sister had cooked us a meal of rice, dal, tomato chutney and spiced mashed potato, finished with the most aromatically spiced black chai i have ever tasted. it was such an honour to share some real time with people in their home. the boys were so sweet and intelligent and interesting company - although i did not expect it, i am so glad to be here experiencing this.
Comments
movie
please watch 'enlightenment guaranteed' a german movie about 2 men who go on a retreat to a zen monastery....