The Arctic Village Water Hauling Workout
Trip Start
Unknown
1
18
23
Trip End
Ongoing
Loading Map
Arctic Village,
Alaska,
United States
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Want to loose a few extra pounds and experience the great outdoors at the same time?
...then the Arctic Village Water Hauling Workout is for you.
All you need is:
a. A 2 quart drink pitcher.
b. A 5 gallon cooler
c. A make shift sled
d. A sharp, heavy, metal object such as an ax, or in my case a Wonder Bar.
e. Really warm clothes.
f. 30 gallon BRUTE plastic trash can
g. A will to survive.
When the village water supply dries up, water hauling is the way to go. So get up off that couch, get dressed for -55˚ weather and get out there and haul some water.
When you and your family of 5 need water, its time to put your workout plan into action.
There is no need listening to the ROCKY soundtrack to motivate you. If you don't get the water, you die! What more motivation do you need?
Now that your dressed and motivated lets get started.
Gather up your supplies and head out the door. Walk about 200 yards until you get to the 30 ft. hill with the 35˚ slope and gently make your way down to the river.
Head up river for another 500 yards until you see the tree limb sticking out of the snow marking the water hole that one of the villagers has cut into the ice. While walking, notice the stars in the sky and how brightly they shine. This is your only light other than the use of your small flashlight.
At this point, the -55˚ weather is telling you, "you don't belong out here unless your a Caribou" and you would tend to agree and head back to your warm house if it wasn't for that motivational thing (see above).
By this time your heart is pumping and your breathing in the cold air and your lungs feel like their being stabbed by a million tiny ice cycles.
Dressed to hall water
DON"T GIVE UP. Remember, your family is counting on you.This is where your heavy, sharp, metal object comes in handy. Even though someone has cut the hole for you, it has probably frozen over and you have about 3 inches of ice to cut through. Remember, you are standing on about 3 feet of ice so 3 inches should be no problem, even for the novice.
Take the pitcher in one hand, and dip into the hole until it is filled with near freezing water.
Pour the water from the pitcher into your 5 gallon cooler.
Repeat this process until your cooler is full.
REMEMBER to wear your waterproof lined gloves to prevent frostbite. Frostbite can abruptly end your workout! (the water does not always stay in the pitcher and can spill onto your hands)
Once your 5 gallon cooler is full, remember to place the top back on (see above).
Make your way back downriver to the afore mentioned hill.
Remember your cooler is much, much heavier and this is where you can really feel the burn.
Make your way up the hill with your cooler making sure that you have a firm footing while remembering your motivational tool.
After reaching the top of the hill and resting for a few minutes, you can see the light from your house and you realize, you are almost there!
You smile as you pass the trash barrels and then the old abandoned truck and navigate your water ladened sled on the wooden walkway, covered with ice and snow, to your house.
You reach the back door and carry the 5 gallon cooler inside.
You take your sharp metal object and hack at the ice sealing the top of your cooler because the cold weather has frozen it shut by the time you get back from the ice hole.
You then take the water and pour it in the 30 gallon trash can.
Repeat the above steps 5 more times, and your family will be flushed with water for two whole days and you will burn off all that unwanted fat while saving your loved ones from sure death!
Just send $19.95 (cash only) for The Arctic Village Water Hauling Workout video to:
Mike Tucker
Arctic Village, Alaska
P.O. Box 291213
Satisfaction Guaranteed or Your Money Back From Someone Else
Comments
Oh the privileges of cold weather
You know as I read this it brings back the memories of Russia, however, my treck was walking over, around, on top of drunk men instead of the hill getting to the water. But I'm so glad you have a husband to do this for you :). Just remind him it is so much better than mowing the lawn in 90 degree plus weather! :)
Miss you all!
Melissa Tucker
Oh the privileges of cold weather
You know as I read this it brings back the memories of Russia, however, my treck was walking over, around, on top of drunk men instead of the hill getting to the water. But I'm so glad you have a husband to do this for you :). Just remind him it is so much better than mowing the lawn in 90 degree plus weather! :)
Miss you all!
Melissa Tucker
Oh the privileges of cold weather
You know as I read this it brings back the memories of Russia, however, my treck was walking over, around, on top of drunk men instead of the hill getting to the water. But I'm so glad you have a husband to do this for you :). Just remind him it is so much better than mowing the lawn in 90 degree plus weather! :)
Miss you all!
Melissa Tucker