Hokkien Weddings - Notes
Trip Start
Unknown
1
3
22
Trip End
Ongoing
Penang,
Malaysia
Saturday, January 19, 2008
It was the unfortunate lot of C the hairdresser and her partner the make-up artist to turn this beast into beauty. They eyed up my tiny Oriental eyes, uneven complexion and limp hair then exclaimed in Hokkien "Waah bet all you know how to do is work!". Hey! That's not true.. I can cook too! But as far as make up and hair is concerned I have always been special needs.
I squirmed uneasily as they circled me debating what "look" would suit the dramatic Kwa. In an instant it was decided and they pounced. My skin was evened out and plastered smooth, lips thinned, cheeks highlighted. I closed my eyes then opened them to find a long lashed Panda blinking back in disbelief. Ah well there are consequences to being a make-up retard. Next it was the hair. Too dry, too much, too heavy went the litany of good humoured complaints.. hang on a second I'm paying for this abuse? To be fair it wasn't the first time I had heard these comments. It's a mark of a true professional that they know when to cut their losses and adopt a new strategy. With 20 minutes to go the weight of my hair rebelled against their chosen style and they defaulted to the French Pleat. I changed in 5 minutes flat to a chorus of "Why u so thin?" and now if my left fake lash would just stay on for the next few hours...
M looked dashing if rather over heated in his maroon silk mandarin jacket and dark trousers. He was sent to meet and escort me from the lifts. We made our entry to cheers and a sea of faces so many of whom I did not recognise. It has been 20 years in all. And so began the serving of tea. Informal doesn't quite describe the ceremony.. ad libbed was much closer to the truth.
Two cream covered dining chairs were set out. Behind them lay a small round table with brown glazed teapots and many Chinese teacups. My Chee Em and her second daughter smiled at me then instructed me to go fetch my in-laws. L and R took their apponted seats, L to the left and R to the right. "Ah Ma yum cha" "Ah Pa yum cha" cue the Longan tea, exchange of red packets and it was over.. NEXT! Mum sat with an empty chair to the right. Dad could only be there in spirit and it was M's turn. Well actually it was then all M's turn. I hunted down the aunts, uncles and elder cousins as they chatted noisily in milling groups. Tua Kor blagged a kiss on the cheek. M made her a happy woman with 2. With my enormous family it took 90 minutes of bowing to get through them all before the banquet could begin.
MT had the videocam running to capture every embarassing moment for later circulation.
Tea ceremony. Old Hokkien Rhyme. Chaos and circus. Gifts. Tate and Lyle tea and diabetes
8 course dinner. Yum seng. Beers and downing. Mum downing 2. DH turning up unexpectedly. Seeing old cousins.
Mum's date.
Foong ang pow.
