The laziest move ever
Trip Start
Oct 19, 2007
1
97
126
Trip End
Ongoing
San Carlos de Bariloche,
Argentina
Saturday, February 9, 2008
I eat my ham samiches for breakfast outside in the crisp morning mountain air. I walk up to one of the glaciers in order to get a birdīs eye view and literally a Condor flies about 10 feet above my head. I canīt believe how close it got and holy crap are they huge. If Condors were cannons they would be size like 38EEE (does that size even exist?). It actually scared the shit out of me for a quick second because it sort of swooped in and it was coming right towards me and I had bus flashbacks real quick and then it leveled off and just glided right over me. A Condor and I would be a good fight Iīd think. Another good fight would be between a daffodil and Mayer. We start the trek down and it goes much faster but itīs much more dangerous and you slip much more often. We trek down in a big group (the brazilian couple, the 2 isrealis, me and Olie) which makes for a good time. So we probably walked about 23km of the 24 so we are only like 1km away from the end which is completely flat ground (so if the ground was a cannon it would be like size 28A) and Iīm sort of looking up girlsī skirts, I mean in the trees just do do do do do like and I trip on a rock and bite it. Hah, Iīm such a fucking tard sometimes. I just trekked up and down this fucking mountain with no problems aside from a few slips and then I fall on my face during the easiest part. I was shocked to hear nobody laugh, hopefully they did on the inside. Nice people. Take a quick nap under a tree waiting for the bus and for some reason Iīm on a different bus back then everyone else and I end up chilling next to this Dutch dude named Guido (which has to be one of the worst and funniest names ever, fucking Guido, Guido and Olie, other countries kill me). We decide to meet up for a few celebratory beers later (not sure what heīs celebrating, maybe the fact that he looks like one of the brothers from the rock group Nelson, which he totally does, but without the hot chick in the video, just a torn t-shirt).
So meet Guido up at this pub later and some American dude is there and he is the biggest fucking jag ever. Heīs more full of shit than Congress. He owns his own business in Bariloche and he has a fucking Accounting for Dummyīs book in his bag. He apparently had a bad meeting and now heīs drowning his miseries away. He offers me a job basically because he needs an accountant and I tell him accounting is the furthest thing from my mind right now and Iīd rather think about Rosanne Barr naked sucking on a cherry while taking a dump on her dog then to think about accounting. This fucking toolcase tells boshit story after boshit story and Iīm pretty sick of him actually. Heīs like the exact opposite of that crazy fucker I met in Brazil, that guy you could just tell his larger than life stories were true but with this guy for some reason you can just tell itīs all boshit or at least embellished to the point of invalidity. Olie and this chick Claudia from Switzerland show up and I mostly hang out with them. Nothing too interesting happens, just chill and knock out like 5 beers.
Bariloche Feb 8 Friday
Olie and Claudia rent a car and go cruising around this area called the 7 lakes but I take a pass as I donīt want to do shit today and I especially donīt want to get up early. Between Puerto Madryn and Bariloche I havenīt had one day of rest and my calf muscles are actually a bit sore (stupid out of shape ass) and I need to chill. Actually I have shit I have to do today, sucks! I have to buy a sleeping bag and I need to buy my bus ticket out of Bariloche before I end up doing some more stuff here. I find a sleeping bag that is good in -8C which is like 16F. I really hope I am not in weather that cold and if I am that means something went wrong and Iīm about to die. Sleeping bags nowadays are a lot different from the ones my parents had. The one I got can only fit one person and itīs shaped a bit like a cone. It then takes my dumbass like 1.5 hours to figure out how to attach it to my bag. And after cutting holes in the bag that contains the sleeping bag and trying to tie it to my backpack and all kinds of other crazy ingenious shit that never quite works I realize itīll be easiest just to put it between the main part of my backpack and the top part which is detachable and covers the main part. Ok, well that took about 1.25 hours too long to figure out. I think Iīm getting dumber down here. And another thing, my fucking spanish is hardly improving at all. Everyone speaks English and I am never forced to speak spanish. Very different from Brazil.
I go to the beach for a bit and lay on rocks as there is no sand - not comfy. I decide I`ll be better off laying in some grass and I take a nap in what can only be described as someone`s lawn. After nappy time (or Buckwheat time) I decide it`s time to buy a bus ticket to I suppose El Chaten which is like 30 fucking hours away. I hop on an innercity bus that ends up taking me about 3km out of the way and I jump off before I get even further out. So I just about doubled my distance to the bus stop from where I initially started. Cool. The only good thing that came from this is the fact that I got to see the poor part of the Bariloche which is the same as saying where everyone lives. I walk back to my starting point and I see another bus labeled A, which is the correct bus but apparently there exists multiple A buses, and multiple B buses etc. Fuck, I guess I`ll have to hike it. So I walk the 4 km to the bus station for a total of 7km after my errant bus ride. Remeber, this was supposed to be chill do nothing day and by the time I get to the bus station I`m so frustrated and sick of walking that I simply go to the very first bus company I see even though it doesn`t go to El Chaten. Hah, I refuse to walk through the long bus station and look for a company that goes to El Chaten and instead I just pick the first company I come to in order to shorten the distance I have to walk. Hmmm, where should I go, I see this particular company goes to Esquel which I am pretty sure is South and on the way to El Chaten so I book it. This is possibly the laziest thing I have ever done. This is even lazier than when I lived in the Chevy Van (nickname we gave our apartment in college, which was pink by the way) and our remote to the TV broke and we fashioned some kind of poker out of a golf club shaft and someone had to always sit at the end of the couch so they could be in close enough proximity to the control box in order to change the channel (Hell no we ain`t getting up). Speaking of couches, hah, I just remembered our love seat that was big enough for 1 but we would always squeeze in two of us and we would look so gay sitting there all squished up against one another. Awesome.
So, anyways, I meet a new roomate who is some Dutch chick (what the fuck, there are more Dutch people in Bariloche than in when New York was New Amsterdam) and she wants to go get a couple of beers. The funny thing is she really means just a couple of beers. We hit up some bar/dance bar and we take a seat at the bar and get our drink on. She`s pretty cool but a bit tough to understand with the music in the background. Funny thing about the Dutch, they are the tallest people in the world, seriously. It`s a viable fact, look it up. She has to be about 6ī1" and it sort of freaks me out. Tall chicks give me the willys. We run into the Dutch couple I met on the mountain and the dude tells her I was the funniest guy on the mountain. Sweet, I think he`s trying to help me out with this girl but I don`t really want any help since I`m not really interested in her as I can`t really try to kick it with someone I would rather have play center on my basketball team. She leaves after three beers and sweet, now I am on my own with a room full of single chicks. And on my own is what I end up being by the end of the night because I suck. I leave around 3am and the consolation prize is the best fucking street hamburger I have ever had in life.
fin
