Human Shar pei, really young chicks and a virgin

Trip Start Oct 19, 2007

126

Trip End Ongoing

Loading Map

Map your own trip!

Map Options

Show trip route

Hide lines

Flag of Argentina Rosario, Argentina
Friday, January 25, 2008

An Isreali dude told me once in Rio that the hottest chicks he has ever seen on this planet reside in none other than Rosario, Argentina. Now at the time I didn`t believe a bit of it because as we were watching the Carnaval rehearsal he told me this chick in the stands was hot and she looked like a hotdog that exploded in the microwave. Obviously his taste in women are not parallel with my tastes, I don`t like ugly chicks. This isn`t really why I`m going to Rosario though, I mean I do want to personally test his theory but I also want to get out of BA (not that I don`t like BA but I`ve been there long enough) and it`s close and Che was born there and I want a picture of me standing in front of his house. I find a hostel and start walking around town in order to do some site seeing. I find Che`s house and it is totally not what I expected. It`s just a fucking building, and a rather dull one at that. I pictured like this old run down house in the middle of a field somewhere, but no, it`s just a building, how unispiring (I`ll upload pics in my next entry so you can see the piece of shit, actually, I�ll do it this entry)

Che´s first home - Rosario

. I run into this Australian dude who I met briefly at the hostel and we hang outside at the National Flag Monument in this really cool plaza looking at the tower commemerating the date the Argentinian flag was first raised which just happened to be in Rosario. This guy cracks me up when I look at him as his face totally reminds me of a Shar Pei. I wish I had a picture of him. He`s a super nice fellow but his face is all like squished in and wrinkled. We go up to the top of the tower and take in the wonderful view of Rosario from the prestigious vantage point and he tells me that he`s thinking of staying in Rosario for a month to learn Spanish and that maybe he`ll rent an apartment and try to find a girlfriend. Hah, dude with a face like that it would be hard for you to try to find a boyfriend. You better try harder than an armless chick trying to shave her snatch so her boyfriend doesn`t have to eat pussy and floss his teeth at the same time. Seriously, before you try to find a girlfriend, you should really think about ironing out your face first.

I walk around town some more and holy fucking hell, the chicks here are unbelievably hot. It`s like there is a factory in Rosario that just spits em out, 5`5", 120 lbs, dark long hair, short jean skirt, nice ass, nice jacks and a lovely face. I mean every fucking one of them. I honestly can`t believe what I am seeing. It reminds me of the fucking cheerleaders from Wichita State, except there are hundreds of them as opposed to 3

Large mural of Che - Rosario

. It`s quite overwhelming and I don`t know where to begin so I don`t really begin anywhere. I mean, even the ugly chicks here are good looking. It`s funny, I`ve read some travel websites since being here about Rosario where people posted comments and I`ve found a bunch of posts from guys all stating the same thing. I meet 5 Israeli dudes at the hostel and they give me dinner and beer which was awesome as the one dude is a good cook and any beer is good especially free beer (Isreali`s are really generous but at the same time they are extremely cheap, hard to explain, but it`s like they are generous when it comes to friends but very stingy with money in an overall sense as they are always bitching about prices and they always somehow find the cheapest way to do or see anything, it`s a fabulous skill which I definitely don`t possess). These guys are a great time and I start ripping on them right away. The cooler someone is the sooner and more often you can make fun of them. This is basically how I judge people on the coolness scale. It`s weird hanging out with them because one dude is sitting against a wall with his dog tags on and no shirt and another is like leaning back and drinking a beer and another dude is cleaning dishes and they totally remind me of an Army unit. Like you can totally tell they just got out of the army just by the way they carry themselves. The one dude Adam tells me that Isreali`s love Americans because we give them weapons and planes, how very true. We play that fucking card game Yanniv (sp?) and of course I get last place as usual

Me with a gay shirt on - Rosario

. I swear they cheat somehow.

I find out David (Davi I think is his actual name, funny thing with Isrealis, they have their real name and then their traveling name for all the gringos that can`t pronounce or remember their real name) knows Amir from Morro de Sao Paulo. To recall your memory Amir is the guy who I got to go to Morro and then he stayed there because he got a sweet gig juggling fire at a club there. David tells me he was there like a month ago and Amir was still there doing his thing. Small world. I tell David the story that Amir is only there because of me. We go out to a bar and get beers and then across the street to some club. The girls in this club are all like fucking 17 years old. I would be very suprised if there was more than 2 chicks over the age of 23 in here, and yes they are all hot and yes that`s why they get in underage. It`s like looking at a Girl`s Gone Wild video in person. I meet I don`t know how many girls and for some reason I have noticed a trend, younger girls in SA like me much more than older ones. I meet this one 18 year old and she takes my hand and one of the Isreali dudes ask where we are going and I tell him "I fint to go make out with this 18 year old real quick". I keep getting dragged around as I think all these girls think I`m like a Backstreet Boy or something (not that that`s complimentary). And now I think I`m the shit because I have all these 16-19 year old girls on my jock

National Flag Monument - Rosario

. I meet some dude named Leo who is a fucking pimp and we meet these two hotties who are actually over 20, I swear to God they are and I`m shocked. Leo is awesome and speaks English although he thinks my name is John and for some reason I never correct him. So we hang out with these two chicks for the rest of the night and we end up shutting down the club and for some reason we just wander around town. The girl I`m with speaks absolutely no English whatsoever but we somehow manage to communicate enough for me to find out she`s a virgin which I don`t believe but her friend confirms it. Virgins, man, I can�t think of another thing in the world I am that ambivalent about (ambivalence doesn�t mean indifference btw, a lot of people think it does though). On one hand, who doesn�t want to be the first one a chick ever bones, but on the other hand, the time, effort and the imminent ensuing drama just isn�t worth it. How the hell is anyone in this fucking town a virgin and how did I find her? We all agree to meet up tomorrow night and the chicks take off and me and Leo hit up another bar at like 5am or some shit. Get one or two drinks and shut it down. I have no idea where I am and I just start walking and I get really really lucky to eventually find my hostel.

BTW: I just thought of this, an armless chick would be the shit to have as a girlfriend. I mean, she couldn�t stab you, shoot you, punch you, or slap you, she couldn�t flip you off or change the TV channel from a Royals game to Sex in the City, you would never have to hold her hand in public, you wouldn�t have to worry about nail marks on your back and she could never write anything bad about you. My kind of woman.

Fin