Uruguayians humpin in da woods

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  Piriapolis, Uruguay
Thursday, January 17, 2008

So, like I said I leave without Vanessa and the other thing that makes me feel a bit better about the whole situation is that she can always call Carolina (the other girl from Colonial) for advice on how to get to Piriapolis if she needs to.  Piriapolis is basically nothing more than a beach town and is probably only populated during the summer months.  I really have no idea why I am going there except that I want a beach and Carolina was going there and suggested it.  I find a hostel thanks to the helpful but ugly lady behind the information desk at the bus station.  Another ugly lady working at the hostel tells me there is a really nice beach 4km from here even though the most popular beach is just a stone's throw away.  Oh, my flippin key looks like an old dungeon key.  It's huge and looks nothing like the kind of keys we have in the states.  I imagine the locks here are easier to pick then Neil O'Donnell in the superbowl.  I decide to check out the far beach first.  There is a sidewalk that basically follows the ocean but between it and the ocean is maybe 100 feet of space which sits below sidewalk level.  This open space sometimes has restaurants or fisherman houses or sometimes just open land.  Well as I am walking I hear something rattling in the small shrubbery and trees below and when I look down I see this guy just going to town on this chick in the brush.  It was fucking hysterical.  She must have been bent over a log or something as she was on her stomach and he was just ramming away in mid daylight.  I couldn't believe my eyes at first but there was no mistake about it, it was a real life porno in the middle of the day in some strange fantastic place called Piriapolis.  I wanted to stare, I mean who wouldn't, not because it was sexy, believe me it wasn't, but because it was such an unbelievable site.  I didn't look for very long as I didn't want to seem perverted and I just kept on walking down the sidewalk.  The other odd thing was that there were two kids sitting at this makeshift table no more than 25 feet from the bent over bitch and her buddy.  I guess they are probably used to it by now.  Who knows. 

Get to the other beach and there are like 20 people there.  It's not even that nice.  Sometimes I dig unpopulated beaches but not today.  I head back to the other beach and apparently the two lovebirds are done with their lil romp out in the open.  The weather is perfect today with no clouds and the beach is fairly packed and girls from Uruguay are pretty hot.  I try to get into a volleyball game but I don't really know how to go about it.  I talk to this one guy but I don't really understand what he is saying.  The guys here are really good but I'm sure I can hang but I think I need to find a partner to play with.  This one dude comes over and starts talking to me and I'm assuming he needs someone to play with as well in the normal 2 on 2 game but somehow I end up in the loser 6 on 6 game.  This is gay.  There are awesome games going on right over there I'm stuck playing in the retarded game.  They are actually better than you would think though, at least they understand the concept of pass, set and hit although the execution left a little bit to be desired (I'm like a volleyball snob now).  At least everyone is having a good time and Matis's (the dude who got me to play in the game) girlfriend (Jane) turns out to be American which is cool and very suprising.  Piriapolis is an odd place and completely off the radar to foreign tourists and I didn't expect there to be hardly any foreigners (not counting other South Americans) let alone an American.  I'm sure we are the only two in town.  Matis lives in Buenos Aires and she is down here visiting him for 3 weeks.  Hang out with Matis, Jane and some of their other friends in between games of retard volleyball.  I'm sitting against one of the volleyball poles and this stray dog comes over and totally starts pissing right on the pole my back is leaning against and I jump up faster than House of Pain and for the most part I avoid the dog piss (for the most part).  Pretty funny though.  Matis and Jane are super cool although I get the feeling Matis is a complete nutcase but not necessarily in a bad way.  I think he's one of those guys that probably live totally in the moment and will basically do anything that leads to the greatest possible self-pleasure at that moment in time.  If you know what I mean.  They invite me out and I am supposed to meet up with them at 2am but I go back and take a nap and never wake up.  I was pretty wiped from the past couple of days due to getting up early to catch buses or boats.  When I depart and say goodbye Matis sort of kisses me on the side of the cheek and I don't really like it but what I am going to do.  It's the culture down here so deal with it. 

Fin

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