Buenos Aires,
Argentina
Monday, January 7, 2008
So I wake up, like I do every day but this day I wish I just stayed asleep forever. Upon waking I learn that I have multiple bites from some crazed ass insect hopped up on roids and the worst part is something bit me right under the eye and it`s all puffed up and I look like I was in a fight and lost, badly. If someone saw me this morning they would think I was strung out on heroin for like the past 5 days and probably puke on me upon seeing my face. I have to change hostels, I have way too many bites (I am assuming bed bugs) and I have to have air conditioning especially if I am going to be in BA for a couple of weeks. I need my parents to send a package I put together with warm clothes and a couple of essential books that I will need to continue on my journey. I find a place with air and I will be checking in there tomorrow and staying indefinitely (well, until my package arrives). I go check out the Palermo barrio which is really cool as it`s the up and coming area of BA. I find a gym and it only cost $28 pesos for 1 week, sweet, I fint to get huge. I nab something to eat and I realize I really need to train myself to think in Spanish. Portuguese and Spanish are similiar but some words are very different. It`s odd how two languages can have some words that are identical and others that aren`t even close, it would be like driving a BMW in the US and then driving one in England, everything is exactly the same, same instrument panel, same upholsery, same same same except there is one drastic difference, the fucking steering wheel is on the opposite side. This appears to be an awful analogy, but I don`t have the time or $ to come up with anything better. As I am sitting there in the restaurant I notice "gaseous" is used instead of "refrigerante" (for carbonated drinks), "tire" is used for push as opposed to "empurre" (or is it pull, man, I have never figured this out, it`s like people who can`t discern cardinal directions, I never understood it, but now I sort of do). All the dishes in Argentina are fattening and the portions are bigger than that penguin in Billy Madison. How are Argentinians not like the fattest fucks in the world? I think a lot of the chicks here starve themselves, seriously, I heard a lot of them do because the food here is so unhealthy and a lot of the girls look like Nicole Richie after she went on her binge spurt of making herself hurl.
Talk to my parents briefly, which is cool (hah, not the briefly part) and confirm that they received my email concerning the address of where to send my all important package (and yes, the alternative meaning for package has not escaped me, but I will not be making any jokes concerning it, not sure why though). After working out for the first time in like years I hit up a grocery store nearby and I get some deli meat and I sit down on this step outside the store and I eat the ham or whatever it was right out of the package (hah, there it is again, insert any gay joke you would like with this one right here). Damn, I sort of feel homeless again. I smell after working out, I`m sitting on a step or small wall whatever it is outside the store and I am eating meat with no bread. I should just stick out my hand and see if some coins miraculously appear before my eyes. As I am sitting there a garage type door starts to close on me (in Argentina a lot of businesses have garage doors that close from the top down to inhibit burglaries). I hear it, but I don`t know what it is and not to mention where it is. So, I`m just sitting there all ignorant eating some meat (yes, insert another gay joke here if you`d like) and some chick from inside the grocery store comes running out and points above my head and I look up and the fucking door is right on top of me and I quickly jump out of the way right before getting smashed. I felt like Indiana Jones in a way, I just needed my hat to fall of my head and reach back and grab it just in the nick of time. Wow, this chick has to think I`m the biggest idiot ever. Garage doors!! I used to be indifferent when it came to garage doors but now I don`t think I like them too much. I don`t do anything cool at night, my eye is pretty jacked and I just hang with some peeps at the hostel.
Fin
