Me + Buses = Stupidity (part 1)

• Merkdog4's Profile
• About this blog
• Entry from Foz Do Iguacu

Trip Start Oct 19, 2007 Previous
Entry Trip End Ongoing Next
Entry

  Foz Do Iguacu, Brazil
Monday, December 31, 2007

TheThe.......Holy crap, you are right.  I have been in Argentina too long.  My mistake, cheesburgers in Brazil are in fact called X-burger or I have seen X-Tudo (which I think means, cheesburger with everything).  I get confused with Spanish and Portuguese.  You should hear me try to speak Spanish, it`s a pidgin language of Spanish and Portuguese and I sound like an idiot. 

Curtiba, Dec 30 Sunday

Not much to report for this day.  I walked around for hours and checked out every building, church and praça (like a town square).  I decide to change my bus ticket and go to Foz tomorrow.  Since I don`t care about New Years now (cold sore), I may as well go to Foz and get to Buenos a day earlier.  I hung out in one of the many city parks that night just chilling and listening to my ipod.  Many of these square block sized parks are very relaxing as they feature beautifully landscaped grounds and usually a cool fountain or two.  Tonight must be Freak night as a group composed of 25 teenagers and/or young adults are hanging out around the fountain all dressed in black.  They are wearing black lipstip (at least the girls, but some of the guys too I think) and have on black military boots, black pants, black shirts and some even have on black trench coats and I`m chilling like 10m away from them wearing kaki shorts and a blue t-shirt (blue t-shirt go figure, it`s not one that is 2 sizes too small though, it actually fits).  Had to be pretty funny for someone to walk by and see this scene.....basically they all look like vampires just hovering around waiting to bite into the lone preppy warrior just meters away.  I have my knife on me for whatever reason but they are completely harmless, just some goth kids getting together to party and drink who knows what, blood possibly, out of huge jugs (not tits, actual jugs, like carlo rossi style).  I actually want to talk to them and get a picture with them and me as it would be hysterical but I don`t really have a way in plus I`m lazy and double plus I have an 8am bus to catch and need to crash.  I switched to a hostel today as it is cheaper and closer to the bus station but it doesn`t even have a fucking fan and it`s as hot as that time we got wasted and passed out like 5 or 6 deep in Higgin`s bed and I woke up with hogger`s chest stuck to my back (who was that, me, hogger, hempen, beans, higgins?, we have problems).  One of the worst things that has ever happened to me btw. 

Foz do Iguacu  Dec 31 Monday, New Years Eve (Part 1)

So, I guess Mel isn`t too happy I am not going to Rio for New Years.  Whatever, I`m assuming she will be fine and will have no trouble finding company for the night.  So, I`m on the bus and we stop at some random rodoviaria (bus station) in some random town and I notice a bunch of people are getting off so I decide this would be a good time to take a quick dump and get a bite to eat in the rodovaria as I am starving since I have been on this bus for 6 hours.  I am usually very cautious concerning this situation and make sure as to not spend too much time away from the bus but I figure with this many people getting off I surely have 10 minutes.  So, I do my thang really quickly and then wait in a small line to get a coxhina and sumin to drink.  As I am paying for my food and pear juice I look out the window and I notice what I am sure is my bus taking off without me.  FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (remember all my belongings are on this bus as well, except for my wallet of course).  I forget my change and take off like a homeless person takes days off of work and I am sprinting through the bus station as fast as possible and I can feel everyone`s head turning as I jet past them and then I run through one of the doors and almost take out a lil kid, sorry buddy, and into the pouring rain (that`s right, there is a complete downpour right now just to add to the excitement).  I chase after this fucking thing like Robin Williams chases after a joke (sorry, but I do not find this guy funny).  So I am trying to run through the rain with sandals on but it`s not easy so I kick them off really quick and I am literally going through every cussword there is in my head while running and telling myself I am absolutely fucked, fucked, fucked, fucked.  I am waving my arms in the air the entire time as I am running hoping the driver sees me but the thing is I am behind him and why would he be looking in his rearview mirrors now.  In one hand I am holding sandals and in the other I am holding my wallet, my coxhina and my can of pear juice.  I am soaking wet at this point but I notice I am gaining some ground.  I am hauling balls faster than an SAE groupie hauled balls into her mouth in college.  If any of my softball buddies are reading this and you thought I was fast in the outfield or on the base path you should have seen me now.  I´m like a highschool kid getting laid for the first time, quick as hell.  This is easily the fastest I have ever ran in my life.  I am absolutely booking.  I notice the bus making a slight turn back on itself in order to hook up with the highway and if I don`t get there before the bus hits the highway I am toast.  But I use this opportunity to cut off the angle a bit in order to make the distance shorter (I played some linebacker when I was younger) and I jump over this lil fence and now I`m racing through wet grass which feels much better on my feet*.  I finally catch up to the bus and jump in front of it waving my arms frantically as it comes to a screeching halt and the bus driver looks at me through the window as though I am his son and I just brought home a failing report card.  For some reason he doesn`t look surprised, just completely dissapointed in me.  He lets me on thank god and I am absolutely drenched.  I mean there is not a dry spot on me and I am dripping water everywhere.  I am thoroughly out of breath and I just stand there next to my seat trying to catch it.  Everyone is staring at me in complete amazement and you just know they are saying to themselves while shaking their head - stupid gringo, he almost missed the fucking bus.  I can`t sit down because I don`t want to get my seat soaked but everyone is looking at me and I don`t know what to do so I decide to try to eat my coxhina but I can`t because I am breathing entirely too hard and little pieces keep falling out of my mouth because it is so hard to swallow (hah, swallow) when this out of breath.  I try drinking some of my pear juice but this task doesn`t turn out to be any easier so I just stand there drenched head to toe with mostly water but now with some pear juice as well and some bits of coxhina stuck to me.  FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK ME!  Whatever, I caught the bus, that`s all that matters.  I finally eat the coxhina as I start to regain control of my breathing and now I need to try to dry off a bit.  I twist and turn my shorts and t-shirt in order to squeeze the excess water out but I think I`m getting people wet so I just sit down in my seat and for the next two hours I fucking freeze my ass off and mumble insults at myself.  Whew, close one.  I have more problems with buses then Napolean did trying to invade Asia.  Someone should pay me just to take bus trips and write about them, I`m not even joking. 

Couple of points:  first of all, remember awhile back when I wrote city to city buses are easy but innercity buses are difficult, ok, forget I ever said that. 

second of all, my small little daypack was sitting on my seat.  Why did someone sitting around me not mention to the driver that I wasn`t back yet?  I mean, I have been on this bus with you people for 6 hours, my daypack is still here but I`m not, obviously something is up. 

third of all, remeber that one time when I ate all fast because I was all worried about the bus leaving me and then I noticed everyone was eating a proper meal, yeah well, maybe I was onto something back then.  I got complacent. 

·Not that anyone cares, but this scenario is somewhat related to why light gets refracted in water.  I find it interesting, so fucking read about it!  Thanks.  Light will always always travel the shortest distance in TIME between two points.  Since light travels through air and space itself faster than it travels through water, it tries to travel through air and space for as long as possible before having to travel through water.  Think of a lifeguard going to save a victim - a straight line may be the shorter distance but may not be the shortest in time.  Maybe he runs a lot faster in sand than he swims, therefore he will run at an angle towards the water where the distance is the shortest between the water`s edge and the victim - as opposed to directly towards the victim itself.  The total distance is more but the amount of time is less.  The shorter distance produces a straight line (and if light reacted this way then light wouldn`t get refracted) but the longer distance (but shorter time period) produces two straight lines intersected with a bit of a bend at the adjoining point.  And this is why light looks bent in water. 

Fin

Print this entry Share Sao Paulo hotels

Previous Entry Next Entry